Can't take rejection

LegacyUser

Hi.

I'm not used to this so bare with me.

I'm a young man in my early 20s and I'm still a virgin. I've never had any kind of relationship and I feel really lonely. There's been a few girls who I've tried to ask out or express my feelings to, but every one has given me the 'I just don't feel the same way, but can we still be friends?' line.

Physically I'm not massive now, but I do have a bit of weight on me. In terms of personality I don't want to seem arrogant, but I have a good few mates and am well liked and considered quite a funny and likeable guy. I'd even go so far as to say I'm (what we would have called back in secondary school) cool.

I did have a shot with a girl about a year ago who I would most certainly put in the 'out of my league' category but I couldn't make any kind of move out of nerves (despite being alone, and it being quite clear there was interest from her side).

I'm getting pretty fed up and am frequently quite depressed about it. I get this hollow feeling in my chest and just feel like going and sleeping or getting horribly drunk.

I don't know what to do, I'm terrified to go out and try again because I know I'm just going to feel even more **** the next time I get turned down by some one I have feelings for.

What should I do?

Craft25

the best cure for fear of rejection is rejection itself!

once you see it's not the end of the world the fear'll begin to seem less daunting.. pulling is a numbers game really, the more you put yourself out there the more likely you are to have some successes..

go down the country with the lads or something and just try n bullsh!t as many girls as you can, all in the name of craic! when i was u'r age all the lads suited up & pretended we were in the next up and coming boy band! craic was mighty!!

im sure you'd have a class time - seing as you're already a social person

ellie1

to op,

Everyone gets rejected. You will notice a lot of threads from people having problems getting over break ups. Rejection is a hugely difficult feeling to deal with. However, blunt as it might sound i suggest you get used to it. You will be rejected by women , by potential employers, your ideas may be rejected, your feelings may be rejected etc.... Its one of them ****ty , painful , annoying irritations of life and you need to find a way of coping with it. You may find counselling helpful, a place where you can reveal your inner most painful feelings of rejection and the effect it has on your life. Having said that getting the job , or getting the girl/women is hugely enjoyable and a major boost to your esteem so get out there and start trying.....

you may get rejected but its all part of the learning of life.
Hope it all goes well.
You seem like a sound bloke so am sure you will meet some one special soon.

Kirnsy

concentrate on the mantra :

"plenty of fish in the sea"


after any rejection just smile and think to yourself - "a bullet dodged".
dont take them personally and move on.