Is love at first sight possible?

LegacyUser

I met a girl a few months ago and she captivated me. She is not a person I would regularly meet but for months afterwards I could not stop thinking about her. Eventually, I put her out of my mind as you do. I did not make a move as she had a boyfriend (Unfortunately).

I met this girl again last week and my thoughts have been nothing but her since. At the moment she still has a boyfriend ( a different guy though and he is apparently a bastard but as long as she is happy, I won't do anything ).

I guess what I am asking is does love at first sight exist and how can I stop thinking about her is an easy way? I really do not want to because she makes me smile when I think about her but I know she is taken so I have to!

Any help?

Shinners23

I never thought there was such a thing until I met my OH. He says the night we met was like a fairytale and I suppose it was. It truly was 'love at first sight' .............well 'lust at first sight certainly' he he.

So in answer to your question, I would say yes.

JJJJNR

Yup it is, but long lasting love is much more difficult.

Wilko121

Aww whooss daa booo booo doooo. If thats whats your experiencing then I would have to say yes

Seriously, yea its happened to me once or twice. Dont really believe in love though, great infatuation.
Best o luck

Btw ok she's got a boyfriend, THIS IS UNIMPORTANT INFORMATION.

1. Get to know her a bit (not too much as you dont want to get too far into the friends circle),
2. Get to know her friends (This is important)
3. Random acts of kindness (Let her believe you are like this)
4 Continue like this untill she leaves him

LegacyUser

The only true instance of love at first sight is parent-child. While there can be an instant connection or liking for the person, lust being another example, true love is something that takes time and work to develop.Anything that happens instantaneously is more like infatuation, but any of these kinds of connections can develop into love given the time, space and a bit of effort.

calahans

Hmmmm..maybe lust at first sight, but not love

honru

Love, in the sense of affinity with a certain person or people, is indeed possible at first sight.

Being "in love" with someone, however, is a deeper affinity which is developed over a period of time in an intimate and sustaining relationship. This is not possible on first encounter.

If you want to stop thinking about her, connect with what you truly care about in your life and consider other women for what it is that you want.

The problem with the phrase "love at first sight", and indeed the term "love", is that the emotion is extremely broad and contextual. The people who attest to "love at first sight" idealise about instant deep affinity, when in reality they are simply experiencing the feeling of attraction towards another human being.

Locamon

Love at first sight? Is there any other kind?
Had a few relationships that were growers but the ones where there is instant attraction were by far the better though they can be messy and not necessarily good for you...if and when you realise you have nothing in common

*Honey*

Most definitely ... in fact I can do one better, love at first sound!! I met my hubby online, emailed back and forth for 2 days and then he phoned me on the third day and, after a 7 hour phone conversation, I asked him to marry me.. and he said yes! We met IRL two weeks late and there was NO doubt in our minds - he got on bended knee in the hotel and proposed to me too! Almost 5 years married now and still going very strong.

If she has a boyfriend now, don't go there - be a friend but nothing more. If she really isn't happy with him and dumps him, then you can make your move! Good luck with it.

LegacyUser

Well seeing as 'love' is nothing more than chemical reactions in the brain and what you are feeling when you see that person is really nothing more than lust(both sexual and emotional), then yes,it's actually extremely likely.

Locamon

*Honey* wrote: »

Most definitely ... in fact I can do one better, love at first sound!! I met my hubby online, emailed back and forth for 2 days and then he phoned me on the third day and, after a 7 hour phone conversation, I asked him to marry me.. and he said yes! We met IRL two weeks late and there was NO doubt in our minds - he got on bended knee in the hotel and proposed to me too! Almost 5 years married now and still going very strong.

If she has a boyfriend now, don't go there - be a friend but nothing more. If she really isn't happy with him and dumps him, then you can make your move! Good luck with it.

Now that's a whirlwind romance:) We humans are pretty emotive beings...

star-pants

I think it's possible, the first time you meet someone/spend time with them, to just connect on a level you didn't think you could. And perhaps you don't realise it there and then, or maybe it needs a bit of time to evolve properly but yes I do believe in finding love almost at first sight.

Regarding this lady though, if she's taken, there's not a whole lot you can do hun, and it must be horrible to see her with someone else. But if you hear wind of it breaking up soon, just make sure you don't miss your chance I guess! Or else try and move on and find another wonderful lady.

bubblewrap

Must admit, I fell HARD when I first met my man at work, as soon as I saw him I was infactuated, went home thinking about him, my heart pounded if he passed my desk etc etc and he said as soon as he saw me, he wanted me (but I think that was for a different reason to me! :rolleyes:) 3 weeks later he asked me out, couldn't believe it! 2 years later I still love him to bits!

Just get to know her, you don't need to go further than friendship for now, all you have in your head is your image of her rather than the real her.

Good luck.

consultech

The whole concept of "Love at first sight" is superficiality in it's purest form. - Cynical I know, but what can u do, it's true. Bah humbug. How can you love someone you kow nothing about?

Wibbs

consultech wrote: »

The whole concept of "Love at first sight" is superficiality in it's purest form. - Cynical I know, but what can u do, it's true. Bah humbug. How can you love someone you kow nothing about?

I have to agree. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but of course it's all in retrospect. I know one woman who believes fervently in this. She of course has had "love at first sight" umpteen times at this stage. I think she's met the "one" at least 5 times since I've known her too and when one actually sticks for life, she'll tell their kids it was fate. Cool, if it works for you, but I would agree with consultech, how can you love someone you don't know? Answer, you can't. You're projecting your ideal and they tick most of the boxes. You'll then work around the boxes they don't tick. Throw in horniness and general attraction(which is still crotch based, lets face it) which can and does happen upfront and I can see why this notion has currency.

I prefer to leave one of the most important decisions in my life to more than projection and hope. That's me though.

af_thefragile

I wouldn't say love. Its more of a deep attraction. Something that triggers all your senses and such.
Like you see a girl who ticks all the boxes for you perfect girl. She's got the looks, she's got the attitude, she's also got the personality and she seems perfect for you, you tell yourself she's the one and you know for real its true love at first sight.
Its probably some sorta evolutionary trait thing that you end up zeroing in on the one girl who seems to be the most like you and you end up spending all your focus on her so that it works out rather than trying your chances with all the girls in the room, coming off as a flirt and simultaneously putting them all off...

But only to later find out you are two completely different persons with completely different interests and values and can never get along with one another. You know its not gonna work, so you forget them and move on. Plenty more chicks around.

Love is something that develops after you've known a person for a while and you know you're ready to do anything it takes to please them and make them happy even though it requires you to put away your own interests and needs for it.

CathyMoran

When I met my husband for the first time I was instantly attracted to him - looks wise he is everything that I could have dreamed for in another person...it turns out that it was the same for him even though we only passed by one another in college. 2 years later we met up again and are happily married. You just have to leave this person for now, if it is meant to be it will be, just not now!

carolinei

I believe in love at first sight. I had it with my husband and on our first date I told him he was the man I was going to marry - and I did obviously as he is now my husband. We will be married 6 years this Sunday and together 9.

He can say so much without saying anything and is the most amazing man. Don't get me wrong I could strangle him some times - but in answer to your question - Yes I believe in love at first sight and maybe the people who don't are the ones who have never experienced it.

Good luck with whatever happens and I wish you well.

Gyalist

If love at first sight exists, most men would fall in love with someone new every day. Calling it love at first sight is backwards rationalisation.

consultech

Gyalist wrote: »

If love at first sight exists, most men would fall be in love with someone new every day. Calling it love at first sight is backwards rationalisation.

My point exactly. I think the polarity in this thread is actually directed at two different definitions.

Although ur username is an anagram for "Stil Gay" so I dont know what to think.

consultech

carolinei wrote: »

on our first date I told him he was the man I was going to marry

wowsers! Every man's dream first date! :eek:

If he didnt run a mile on hearing that he was never gona go anywhere!

Gu3rr1lla

I love everything at first sight