Emotionally immature maybe

LegacyUser

I'm pushing thirty and for a lot of reasons including anxiety, depression, lack of confidence I've never been in a relationship. I haven't had to turn too many women down as I'm not very good looking so I never exactly had a fan club either. Now I'm in a much better place and ready for love, lol. I'm trying online dating at the moment but a new source of anxiety is the fact that most of the women my age (who would have me lol) have all been in relationships. Some have been in LOTS. I'm afraid of being seen to be stunted, or inexperienced or emotionally immature

Is this irrational, is the question.

tbh

Irrational: as in, is it logical? of course not! anyone in your position would be asking the same question, and would have the same doubts - they are totally rational!

However, try to look at this from a different angle. You're not auditioning for anything, there are no right and wrong answers. Imagine if you went for a job you had no clue how to do, and you bull****ted to an amazing level, and got the job - what then? You wouldn't know what to do, and you'd be miserable.

Try to focus on the positives. What's good about you? What have you got to offer? Why would the type of woman you want to be with be happier with you in her life than if you were not in her life? If you can find a way to really connect with someone, then your history won't matter - and I promise you, it matters a lot more to you than to anyone else.

Put it this way. Say you went out with your mates and you met a girl and you really clicked with her and saw her again maybe. She doesn't really know you that well, and you don't really know her that well, but you are getting on great. Imagine she then told you all the stuff that you told us. She hasn't really been in a relationship, history of depression...how would you feel? Would you be wary of her? Probably not, right? You'd probably be flattered that she opened up to you, and excited that the fact she opened up to you means that she thinks that the two of ye are going somewhere, and that's great because you want it to...

So, why wouldn't someone feel that about you?

What you have to do is expand your social circle as much as you can. Don't be too single minded, but take any chance you can to go out with mates, and get introduced to their friends, and friends of friends etc. Even without meeting women, it'll be good for you to that anyway.

Best of luck man.

Otis Driftwood

Not irrational mate,just a fear of the unknown.You are going to have to take the plunge at some stage so now is as good a time as any.