Establishing a Dictatorship.

Dartz

Since it is plainly obvious the current lot in Leinster house couldn't run a race, let alone a country. How would you replace them with your most glorious and illustrious self.

It seems to me, the simplest way to power is to be elected in majority. All it takes is a snazy shirt of interesting colour, and the ability to say things that make people nod their heads. A scapegoat for the nations problems can be found. In the current economic climate, bankers and rich feckers will do fine.

Everybody hates bankers and lawyers.

Once the majority in the Dáil, all it will take is a convenient State of Emergency to enable the government to enact emergency powers. Blow up Croke Park and blame the IRA. Or set the Dáil on fire.

With yourself as chance.... Taoiseach, you run the country. (What with the president being nothing more than a rubber stamp with a pretty face... and out of the Aras soon enough in anyways). Eradicate other political parties, pump money into the army to keep them happy and enage in a large program of civil works to establish native industries and generate pseudo-employment.

Establish 'concert camps' to reeducate those who disagree, so they will learn to work in harmony with society. The important aspect being work. After all, work sets you free, doesnt it?

Hold some nice rallies every year, brandish around torches. As long as you dont invade other countries, they'll be quite happy to appease you. Some might even be impressed at the economic turnaround.

Of course, the government will be supportive of big business, and aid establishment of industry within the country. After all, Communism is the devil, the communist wants to take what you've earned away from you. Free healthcare, schooling (state approved of course) should be available to to all citizens. Public jobs will be well paid, and personal income tax will be low. Government tax take will be made up by consumption taxes, much as before the crisis. Consumption of foreign goods especially. The idea being, the more money people have, the more they will consume, the better for the state. More people in work, means more consumption, and also means more skilled employees to work elsewhere. Also, all Irish citizens regardless of location in the world are subject to government taxation of their income.

So you cant move you assets to the Cayman islands....

Finally, in 2019, invade Northern Ireland, confident that nobody will stand against you....

Because, well.... they havent so far, have they. And what better way to squash dissident Republicans?

Of course, the Germans might twig what's going on.... they might even send an angry letter or two. But that's about it.

Agamemnon

Dartz wrote: »

the president being nothing more than a rubber stamp with a pretty face

Ew, that's sick. I'd rather kiss a tramp's cock. Everything else sounds good though, so go for it.

UnderpantsGnome

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

biko

I would follow the 10 steps to a closed society outlined by Naomi Wolff.
My favourite: Detaining and releasing people for no reason other than to make them paranoid and suspicious of everything.

R0ot

I for one welcome our dictatoral overlords.

Dartz

biko wrote: »

I would follow the 10 steps to a closed society outlined by Naomi Wolff.
My favourite: Detaining and releasing people for no reason other than to make them paranoid and suspicious of everything.

What a wonderful idea. How would you like to join my not-so-secret secret police?

Gone Drinking

If i wanted to read a novel, i wouldn't be surfing boards

ejmaztec

One of the most important aspects of a dictatorship is executing people, thereby putting the sh1ts up people in a big way.

stovelid

You may be part of the problem as your interminable post suggests a lack of productivity in your workplace or college.

Expect a knock at the door.

R0ot

Gone Drinking wrote: »

If i could read a novel, i wouldn't be surfing boards

Fixed that for you

Gone Drinking

R0ot wrote: »

R0ot
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Fixed that for you

dsmythy

Combining the presidency and the Taoiseach? hmm

"An Ceannaire" ftw!

dsmythy

Gone Drinking wrote: »

Fixed that for you

miaow!

Kev_ps3

I think its a great idea... Seriously

Fat_Fingers

lol, oh .. this whole thread is good laugh! Thanks!

ejmaztec

Having a degree in Sociopathy also helps, not to mention a neck like an owl, so that you can more easily look over your shoulder to keep tabs on the ambitious bastard with a penchant for ice-picks.

Dartz

Nah, I just plan on making the placing of suitcases under the heavy oak table in my private bunker a capital offence. And all one-eyed army officers will be shot.

pablomakaveli

Cowen and his cronies will be fecking off abroad for Paddys day. You could pretty much walk into the Dail and declare yourself dictator and oul' Biffo won't be there to stop you.

I always plan to do this every year on Paddys day but for some reason i always end up drunk.

deadhead13

Dartz wrote: »

It seems to me, the simplest way to power is to be elected in majority. All it takes is a snazy shirt of interesting colour, and the ability to say things that make people nod their heads. A scapegoat for the nations problems can be found. In the current economic climate, bankers and rich feckers will do fine.

The silent majority - those who always vote for FF, but never admit it, would scupper this part of your plan. But a bloody coup is always an option.

Rented Mule

You'll need to nationalise all of the nations resources, particularly the corrib oil field reserves and refinery up in Belmullet.

You sell petrol back to the people at €0.03per litre (ala Hugo Chavez)

You're also going to need a load of propaganda films/soundtracks to keep the people abreast of your greatness. They will also help explain the disappearence of all of the 'do-gooders' that like to stick their nose in world events. Bono, Geldof etc.....

orestes

ejmaztec wrote: »

One of the most important aspects of a dictatorship is executing people, thereby putting the sh1ts up people in a big way.

Only kill your own people though, that's the key, you can get away with genocide provided you only kill your own countrymen. It's only when you start killing people in other countries that the rest of the world get's all pissed off

The guy

orestes wrote: »

Only kill your own people though, that's the key, you can get away with genocide provided you only kill your own countrymen. It's only when you start killing people in other countries that the rest of the world get's all pissed off

Cough cough

orestes

The guy wrote: »

Cough cough

Don't forget this fella, recognised by the United Nations as the official ruler of Cambodia after it got invaded, despite having killed off more than a quarter of the population of the country with his insane policies, now that's the way to do it!

Gummy Panda

Dartz wrote: »

Since it is plainly obvious the current lot in Leinster house couldn't run a race, let alone a country. How would you replace them with your most glorious and illustrious self.

It seems to me, the simplest way to power is to be elected in majority. All it takes is a snazy shirt of interesting colour, and the ability to say things that make people nod their heads. A scapegoat for the nations problems can be found. In the current economic climate, bankers and rich feckers will do fine.

Everybody hates bankers and lawyers.

Once the majority in the Dáil, all it will take is a convenient State of Emergency to enable the government to enact emergency powers. Blow up Croke Park and blame the IRA. Or set the Dáil on fire.

With yourself as chance.... Taoiseach, you run the country. (What with the president being nothing more than a rubber stamp with a pretty face... and out of the Aras soon enough in anyways). Eradicate other political parties, pump money into the army to keep them happy and enage in a large program of civil works to establish native industries and generate pseudo-employment.

Establish 'concert camps' to reeducate those who disagree, so they will learn to work in harmony with society. The important aspect being work. After all, work sets you free, doesnt it?

Hold some nice rallies every year, brandish around torches. As long as you dont invade other countries, they'll be quite happy to appease you. Some might even be impressed at the economic turnaround.

Of course, the government will be supportive of big business, and aid establishment of industry within the country. After all, Communism is the devil, the communist wants to take what you've earned away from you. Free healthcare, schooling (state approved of course) should be available to to all citizens. Public jobs will be well paid, and personal income tax will be low. Government tax take will be made up by consumption taxes, much as before the crisis. Consumption of foreign goods especially. The idea being, the more money people have, the more they will consume, the better for the state. More people in work, means more consumption, and also means more skilled employees to work elsewhere. Also, all Irish citizens regardless of location in the world are subject to government taxation of their income.

So you cant move you assets to the Cayman islands....

Finally, in 2019, invade Northern Ireland, confident that nobody will stand against you....

Because, well.... they havent so far, have they. And what better way to squash dissident Republicans?

Of course, the Germans might twig what's going on.... they might even send an angry letter or two. But that's about it.

TL;DR