Anyone else get annoyed by this?

IzzyWizzy

People who offer to do you a favour, only to a) not do it or b) do it so late that it's of no use anymore? And why do these people always act shocked when you're not eternally grateful and kissing their feet? Why do these people not realise that by not keeping their word, they've created a problem for you that didn't exist before?

Example A - I needed to copy some pages for a class I teach. Was about to go into town and do it when colleague offered to do it as he could do it cheaply. I said it was grand as I needed them the next morning, he said "no problem, they'll be here." Of course I go in and they're not there, so all in a panic I now need to find new material for my class in only 5 minutes. Copying them myself would have been a slight inconvenience compared to the major one it became when I was let down.

Example B - I needed to go to another town to meet a friend. Planned to take a train but when I mentioned it to someone, they said they could give me a lift. I asked if they were sure they didn't mind, that taking the train was no hassle, 'no problem' they said. They were 3 hours late picking me up, so late that by the time I got to the place I hardly had any time there. Had to call friend and rearrange the time to meet, and my day was pretty much ruined. And of course if I'd said anything, it would have been 'ungrateful.'

Why on earth do people offer to do things if they're not going to do them? Why not just not offer in the first place? It's easy to say you'll help someone out, but doing it is obviously more effort! It's SO annoying! And so many people seem to do it :eek:

starflake

Keep that attitude up and you'll never ever have to worry about anyone offering you anything ever again

Turd Ferguson

Next time thay offer to do something say "Nah, you were a c*nt the last time and f*cked me over royally so you can go and **** the **** off your **** ***** and ****** with a melon"

dr.bollocko

Ah starflake why didnt you just copy the sheets like you said you would?

starflake

MAybe people just Really dislike you :P

IzzyWizzy

Keep that attitude up and you'll never ever have to worry about anyone offering you anything ever again

You're obviously one of these people, so. What exactly is 'kind' about offering someone something and not doing it, so screwing them over? I could offer the sun, moon and stars but I won't unless I'm sure I can deliver. Why is it considered fine to let people down just because you offered to do them a favour they didn't ask for?

starflake

yes. It's fun to mess with people.. sure you're the main thing on their minds all the time and both of their worlds revolve around you :P how dare they be late

TPD

I agree OP, annoys the hell out of me.

Communicationb

I take the attitude that people will only let you down so it is best not to rely on anyone..works great for me..I have such low expectations of people that I never get let down.:)

Latchy

People are unreliable , it's a fact .

UnderpantsGnome

Yes, but, everything annoys me.

Nolanger

Serves you right - most people are idiots and untrustworthy - 'bout time you found that out. Run along now ...

IzzyWizzy

yes. It's fun to mess with people.. sure you're the main thing on their minds all the time and both of their worlds revolve around you how dare they be late

I was always told not to make promises I couldn't keep. If I offer to do something for someone, I make damn sure I can do it bar an emergency. I don't wreck their plans because 'something came up' for me. That would be selfish. If I'm not sure I can do it, I don't offer. Not overly difficult.

starflake

God, this has really gotten to you hasn't it? Yeah I have to agree with others here. there's very few trustworthy people out there and you really do have to do it yourself if you want something done right. I guess in future.. just say no thanks and do it yourself.. people mean best but it doesn't always work out

banshee_bones

OP i know *exactly* what you mean and it bugs the hell out of me.

Example:

Asked a former lecturer to supply me with a reference to a major university in another country. In fact i need three references. The other two did it straight away, one had a techical problem, emailed me about it and we sorted it out.
The third lecturer,waited so long that when I checked my application status and it said the submission deadline has passed! So i rang said same lecturer to tell him how he had let me down and he swore hed do it the next morning. A week goes by and he STILL hasnt done it!
I had to get someone else. 20 days late and the institution fault ME for his incompetence!

WHY WHY say or promise to do things when you will just let the other person down?

rant over/

mickoneill30

starflake wrote: »

yes. It's fun to mess with people.. sure you're the main thing on their minds all the time and both of their worlds revolve around you :P how dare they be late

Their world doesn't have to revolve around the OP. It doesn't seem like a complicated concept to me. If I'm able to do someone a favour that fits in with their plans and doesn't cause me hassle I let them know. If it doesn't fit in with their plans then I don't offer it.

starflake

Meh... Only you yourself can scratch your back the right way IMHO

papillon66

That's why for important stuff only count on yourself even though people make an offer to help- At the end of the day it's your responsability not theirs-

Sometime people offer to help just to look nice..to check if you are a needy or a grounded...and most of the time they expect that you are going to say no

Got a friend who used to offer his help or give something jsut to be sure I will return it when he will need it(usually about a week)...not to say he isn't a friend anymore:rolleyes:

Don't blame them...blame yourself as sad as it sounds-only accept or ask when you don't have any other choice...or let them know that they will be your alternative if you can do it yourself-that's my rule and people will respect you more when you really need their help...just my 2cents:)

Melted M&M

Just say No and stand up for yourself

IzzyWizzy

That's the thing though, I always say 'no you're grand' and people INSIST. Why do that if you can't follow through? Obviously so they can think 'oh I'm so nice' and when it comes down to actually doing the favour, just not bother. Words are meaningless without actions. People suck. :rolleyes:

Abi

IzzyWizzy wrote: »

You're obviously one of these people, so. What exactly is 'kind' about offering someone something and not doing it, so screwing them over.

That would the wänker variety Izzy.

It is unfortunate that the only way you can seperate these from trustworthy, is by process of elimination. You dont seem the sort to use expletives, but for the likes of these, I suggest you pick a few and prepare for use on the next offender.

If you find you are incapable of channelling your frustration as advised above; discover your creative side and inner bïtch by spreading vicious rumours about them over a coffee in the staff room.

Pyr0

Melted M&M wrote: »

Just say No and stand up for yourself

Stand up for herself ? If you actually read the post, the others involved insisted after her refusing then failed to do what they insisted to do ! Why are some people failing to realise that ?

masonman

Know exactly what you mean OP. Happens all the time. I'm sick of people offering favours on their terms where it can be more of an inconvience for me how they go about carrying it out if at all
In fairness, its difficult for people to have an appreciation as to how important something is to you ( Even if you try to stress it politely) so thats usually why people fail miserably at carrying out favours.
Have been in a position many times were I've felt compelled to agree and I'd be an ungrateful C*** if I did't. Generally, after being burned a couple of times - I'm careful what I say around certain people ( the Serial offenders) so they don't offer up a "favour" which I know is just gonna make life more difficult for me.

kelle

I know where you're coming from OP. I've been stung a few times, and if I offer to do somebody a favour I make sure I carry it out properly even though I have small children and would be more difficult for me. If something happens that I can't I would make sure I contact them to let them know.
One thing I've noticed about these people is that they would be down on you like a ton of bricks if you did the same to them!

seanybiker

TPD wrote: »

I agree, OP annoys the hell out of me.

Fixed that comma for ya.
Only messing. It doesnt annoy me because things can pop up for the other person

Overheal

whos giving out rainbow brite avatars all of a sudden?

MagicMarker

Man, that must be a shít school if it doesn't have a photocopier.

As for example B, after 30 minutes you should have just gone. WTF did you wait 3 hours for?

Big Wave

Bugs the HELL out of me! I feel your pain, OP - but I also rarely depend on anyone, except the few I know I can 100% trust not to let me down. It's the only way.

My solicitor is like this - he never gets back to me. When he eventually answers his phone (I bet he regrets ever giving me his mobile #), he says "sorry - I'll defo have it back to you after lunch today" - nothing....not even within the next week! WTF? Anything I need done with a solicitor has a deadline, FFS!
By the time he got back me on my last query (about my liability relating to a service charge on my old office building, which was charged to me while my lease had expired, so I was wondering whether I was liable to pay it at all, since I had no lease), I had actually settled on a fair fee with the landlord directly in the meantime - WTF??

Zangetsu

If you want something done right...

IzzyWizzy

Man, that must be a shít school if it doesn't have a photocopier.

I'm freelance. I claim expenses for copies.

As for example B, after 30 minutes you should have just gone. WTF did you wait 3 hours for?

Right, because there's trains waiting at the station all ready for whenever you feel like hopping onto one. :rolleyes: I obviously missed the train I was planning to get, thinking I was getting a lift. I was waiting at home, so by the time I made my way to the station and waited for the next train, it would have been a couple of hours anyway. And these people usually have a habit of saying 'yeah I'm ALMOST there! I'll just be 20 minutes!'

starflake

Abigayle wrote: »

That would the wänker variety Izzy.

That's a bit harsh... I offered some advice later on in the thread... no need to call me names .... I'm not a wanker....