I'm such a wuss

LegacyUser

A girl I like from work I kinda like asked me to go out with her this weekend for a few drinks I wouldnt have minded going but I have such a poor self esteem issues that I made up an excuse for not being able to go.This is the second time I have done this to her

You see im in my 30s a bit overweight and have never really been close to anyone and I have really bad self esstem issues I have just no confidence in myself. what should I do?

RacoonQueen

Ask her if she's still up for the drinks, go, relax, be yourself and have a good time. The only way to get over shyness, low self-esteem etc is to get out there and prove yourself wrong. IMO.

Silverfish

So many people post here because they can't find someone, no-one has ever asked them out, nobody has ever shown interest.... and here you are, with someone who likes you, and you're afraid.

Thing is, it doesn't matter how you look, we all get the 'omg omg' jitters when someone directly asks us out. Sometimes, we can get so jittery we say no, because we're afraid.

But if we never took chances, we'd still be writing on the walls of our caves with burnt sticks.

Say 'Yes, I'd love to' and go. She obviously sees something in you, and if you go, you'll find out what it is

RedXIV

And one other thing, if she's asked you out twice, she probably won't ask again considering your first two responses, you'll probably have to ask her next. But on the bright side, you know she likes you so you don't have to worry about getting rejected

Pepe LeFrits

Unregistered wrote: »

A girl I like from work I kinda like asked me to go out with her this weekend for a few drinks I wouldnt have minded going but I have such a poor self esteem issues that I made up an excuse for not being able to go.This is the second time I have done this to her

You see im in my 30s a bit overweight and have never really been close to anyone and I have really bad self esstem issues I have just no confidence in myself. what should I do?

Stop being so hard on yourself for a start.

As Silverfish said, she obviously likes something - probably lots of things -about you. Have you tried thinking about what they might be?

If your low self esteem is making you unhappy or negatively impacting on your life, I'd suggest arranging to see a therapist. It is something that you can definately overcome.

Snowie

dont be so quick to knock your self down man....

There's good in everyone most of us do something good everyday, weather its getting up on time, or the fact that you, got a perticularly hard job done is that not a good thing ?

As silvier fish said take the chance walk over to her and just hey are you still going out at the weekend ? if she say's yeah take back your excuse's and say if the offfer is still there can i come ?

easy as that well actuly no it isnt there's the feeling of anxsitiy you can feel , and many other reason's. But are you going to let the these negitive affects affect you for the rest of your life or will you take charge ?

I say take charge...go for it man you have everything to gain and nothing to loose..
and if you remember she asked you out for a drink not the other way round...

ps dude dont knock your self down so much dont do you any good yeah ?

Splendour

Unregistered wrote: »

A girl I like from work I kinda like asked me to go out with her this weekend for a few drinks I wouldnt have minded going but I have such a poor self esteem issues that I made up an excuse for not being able to go.This is the second time I have done this to her

You see im in my 30s a bit overweight and have never really been close to anyone and I have really bad self esstem issues I have just no confidence in myself. what should I do?

Well this invite should give your self esteem a big boost

Is it your weight that causes you to have no confidence? I was involved in a project recently and really fancied a guy who was also involved. He was probably about three stone oveweight and boy was he HOT!!

This girl obviously really likes you and there's something about you that's caused her to ask you out (twice), so why not take a pen and paper and list all of your good points-you more than likely will surprise yourself...

barleybooley

Why do people with a bad self image always think that they don't deserve someone asking them out? Quickly! Go and ask her to something, movie you want to see (or don't want to see, that way you can kiss her if it's boring!) but dude, she'll think if you keep turning her down that you have no interest.


(barleybooley's bf typing now)
So you don't feel so nervous, there's a reason she keeps asking you.

The more direct you are the better. I've been going out with barleybooley nearly a year now. Why? Because one day I just felt like kissing her. So I did. BAM! A year this week

Also, do not leave it too long. So so many guys try and play it slow, like trying to be their friend for a while and easing in that way but it never ever works. Make this promise to yourself: I will ask her out before the end of the week.

lau1247

Unregistered wrote: »

A girl I like from work I kinda like asked me to go out with her this weekend for a few drinks I wouldnt have minded going but I have such a poor self esteem issues that I made up an excuse for not being able to go.This is the second time I have done this to her

You see im in my 30s a bit overweight and have never really been close to anyone and I have really bad self esstem issues I have just no confidence in myself. what should I do?

What have you got to lose..?? you have everything to gain..
So it can't be worst than before
Don't think about it too much and go up and casually ask her out..
If everything goes well, you'll have a great future

lconmara

Lots of women prefer men with a bit of bulk. I do. It makes me feel nice and small and girly and safe, I like a brick wall man!

Popular culture may say that women all want six packs but that really isn't the reality. It works both ways, would you prefer Nigella Lawson or Kate Moss? Most guys I know like Nigella, a bit of meat...

Women can have that preference too.

Just send her a text/im saying "Drink later?"

bubblewrap

Ah bless you, all you can do now is act quickly...apologise, explain you felt shy and you reacted wrongly and would love to go out with her, do it now!

Locamon

bubblewrap wrote: »

Ah bless you, all you can do now is act quickly...apologise, explain you felt shy and you reacted wrongly and would love to go out with her, do it now!

Would be a bit more cautious I think the OP suggested this was for a few drinks sounds like he would be painting her as chasing him if he did this.
OP just be casual say 'hey if you're still on for those drinks I would love to meet up' if she is reluctant then explain why you said no before -but I suspect she will just say great or if she has already made plans you can agree another time.
Best of luck:) as someone already said most people have problems because they can't ask and nobody asks them, nice to be asked:)