The Neverending Boards Story

chavezychavez

Bit bored, so starting a story thread. Everyone add a new and exciting piece to the story (see I am bored).

Right...


One day Jim was walking down the road when he heard a strange noise coming from an alleyway he was walking past. He decided to go investigate, but he couldn't find or see anything of note down the dark alley. He turned around to walk back out on to the main street when suddenly.......

gamblitis

When from the dark a little green man jumped out and said in a deep scary voice "Jim, come with me" in a funky zombie like fashion.Jim seemed unable to resist.

p to the e

...but the allure of the scented candles he held were too much to resisit. "come with me" he croaked with a vicious smile which changed to a grimice when the tyres of the car behind screeched to a halt.

chavezychavez

There he stood.....tall as a tree.....the shadowy figure that had plagued Jim in his dreams.

How could this be, Jim thought, as the man, leaped effortlessly over him towards the litte green man.

gamblitis

His blonde flowing locks smelling like lavender and his face look at though it was carved but a gifted sculptor.He then reached inside his breast pocket and pulled out a

chavezychavez

....can of whupass on the little green man. Jim was sure he would kill him only for..

kerash

chewing gum

gamblitis

which as everyone know is a blonde's kryptonite! Jim now started to run when from nowhere

chavezychavez

The shadowy man, had always had a fear of Chewing Gum, back from the time he slipped on a piece, when trying to execute a double reverse upsode down roundhouse helicopter kick, and managed to graze his knee. Those thoughts now came flooding back to him and distacted his just enough so that....

kerash

tic tacs

chavezychavez

..who was Jims aide and friend and who had noticed and followed Jim down the alley, gave a might shout...

kerash

stfu

p to the e

..in his fine Scouse accent. nobody messes with Tic Tacs mates. and even though his size wasn't to be admired he withdrew a..

chavezychavez

flamethrower. Luckily enough, Tic Tac and Jim had been on their way to a BBQ, and Tic Tac had it in his head that he would flash fry the food with the flamethrower to save time. He hoisted it up, aimed it at the shadowy man and....

kerash

dropped dead.

gamblitis

jim didn't know what to do, his judgement was clouded and in a state of confusion, picked up the flame thrower not noticing it was pointed at himself and pulled the trigger.This freaked out the long haired man who started and fled the scene like a weeping child back to his cave where

kerash

Jim was waiting

colrow

for ages, so after 10m minutes he went back to his bed in the Sally Anny

Melted M&M

we he sat and contemplated on what had just happened then a noise in the corner made him look there a dark figure smoking a cigarette spoke......

chavezychavez

"I've got a brand new combine harvester and I'll give you the key" he said gruffly....

colrow

lets go down the offy and get some buckfast and sit in the cemetery and get blasted

Melted M&M

and wasted

colrow

and cardiac arrested

Melted M&M

on the tombstone when he tasted the earwaxy Dutch Gold

chavezychavez

and as he lay there in distress, his mind wandered back to his fateful decision earlier. "Why did I buy this muck beer? If only Quinnsworth were still around, I could have bought yellow pack beer instead" he thought and just at that moment who should appear but...