Definitely

coldfire1x

A teacher asks her class if anyone could use the word 'indefinitely' in a sentence. Little Johnny raises his hand at the back of the class.

But the teacher knows he's a trouble maker and that he doesn't know the answer, so she calls on Jim.

Jim replies, "Due to the weather, school was canceled indefinitely."

"Good" the teacher replies. "What about you Jenny?"

Jenny says, "Since the bus broke down, transportation has been stopped indefinitely."

The teacher then says that the sentence was too much like the other one, and asks if anyone can use it in a different way. So there's Little Johnny waving his hand again. And the teacher thinks... (Maybe he really does know the answer), so she calls on him. Johnny stands up and says,

"As I felt my balls slap against her ***, I knew that I was in definitely!

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After Sex Comments by Sun Sign:

Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"

Taurus: "I'm hungry--pass the pizza."

Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"

Cancer: "When are we getting married?"

Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"

Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."

Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."

Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."

Sagittarius: "Don't call me--I'll call you."

Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"

Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"

Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"

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A young lady is sitting on top of a pier with no arms and no legs. A man walks past her, and she cries.

The man goes up to her and asks her whats wrong. She says that she has never been hugged before, so he hugs her and walks off.

As he walks, the lady cries again. The man goes up to her and asks again whats wrong with her. She says she has never been kissed, so he kisses her and walks off.

She starts to sob now, so the man walks back and asks again. She says I have never been screwed before. So he picks her up, and throws her off the side, and says now your screwed.

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A man goes to a doctor and says "What shall I do? I've just been raped by an elephant!" The doctor tells him to bend over so he can have a look at his as$. "That's funny!" He says "your as$hole is 10 inches wide! I thought elephants only had thin long dicks?" The man says "Yeah but he fingered me first!"

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Dictionary for decoding women's personal ads

1. Ø 40-ish..................................49.
2. Ø Adventurous..........................Slept with everyone.
3. Ø Athletic................................No breasts.
4. Ø Average looking.....................Moooo.
5. Ø Beautiful..............................Pathologica l liar.
6. Ø Emotionally Secure..................On medication.
7. Ø Feminist...............................Fat.
8. Ø Free Spirit.................................Junkie.
9. Ø Friendship first.......................Former Slut.
10. Ø New-Age.........................Body hair in the wrong places.
11. Ø Old-fashioned........................No B.J.'s
12. Ø Open-minded.........................Desperate.
13. Ø Outgoing..............................Loud and embarrassing.
14. Ø Professional................. ..........Bitch.
15. Ø Voluptuous...........................Very fat.
16. Ø Large frame...........................Hugely fat.
17. Ø Wants soul mate.....................Stalker.

PS - No offence meant

Podge2k7

Good stuff.!