Boss gets drunk and abusive

LegacyUser

I got extremely lucky in October and got a job in a bar full time and perm.

The only thing is, my boss who is aged about 65 gets drunk there every evening after work and we're all subjected to abuse after he has a few drinks.

No matter what you say, its wrong. After hes had a few he picks on the days entire events, bitches about the other staff behind their backs (he more than likely does the same to me to the staff behind my back too). I tactfully thought that by just agreeing with him one time, it would avoid an argument, but he still took something I said and started to argue.

Ive tried sitting there in silence and just nodding but he then says 'are you with me?' or tells me to concentrate, which angers me even more because hes talking absolute close minded rubbish.

Ive left there crying and upset, he really is beyond horrible after a few drinks, really picky and nasty.

This is creating that burning feeling in your chest called stress! How on earth do I handle this? Do I just let him harp on at me?

During the day time in work hes not half as bad, its a jeckll Hyde situation...

Its not fair to be treated like this and that he cant handle his drink but I need this job and am determined to make it work.

smileysurfer

By the looks of your post there is no way you can make it work! your boss is an alcoholic who gets drunk each day in his bar, he verbally abuses his staff but who are you going to report it to? your boss?
Id say leave your job and find another as this situation is NOT going to change! I know its hard to get jobs now but there ARE jobs out there if you look hard enough!

6th

Get yourself a dictaphone and record a few of these conversations.

Craft25

google 'how to deal with difficult people'... and keep your distance from him, mentally and emotionally... if you're gonna keep working there you need some practical strategies to not let it get to ya...

if it's too bad to deal with you might speak to an employment lawyer or citizens advice of some sort

biko

Is your boss the owner of the company? Is there someone you can complain to (he's actually drinking on the job)?

humanji

I say either don't stay back after work, or leave the job. At 65 I'd say he's firmly set in his ways and there'll be no changing him.

LegacyUser

Biko - boss owns company.

6th - not a bad idea, have one and will keep that in mind.

Smileysurfer - no way I am leaving a job in the recession, its okay during the day, its just when he turns I want advice as to how to approach him during the daytime.

Humanji - he only started drinking every night since the place opened a few months ago, hes like a messy 18year old, not able to handle drinking this much/often.

I want to say it to him in the daytime, we have regular business meetings and Im preforming well but I want to say all of this to him without sounding like a fool.. I want to be able to be mature and assertive and let him know this doesnt wash with me.

Harris

6th wrote: »

Get yourself a dictaphone and record a few of these conversations.

I don't think that's legal.
Citizens advice Bureau would be my first port of call.

Overheal

I'd have probably snapped a tether and blasted into him verbally by now. Any point in trying to humour him debate wise? Probably not - find another job, or speak with him when he's sober about the issue.

ManOfMystery

He's being very unprofessional ... first rule of thumb when running/working in a bar is not to drink away your own profits.

Is there any way you can just avoid him? i.e. make yourself busy getting cleaned up at the end of the night, etc?

How do other staff feel? I know it's awkward confronting him on your own but perhaps if a group of you responded the same way it would be easier for him to see what he's doing wrong.

username123

If the boss is the owner and doesnt have a boss himself then leave the job.
You may have a case for employment court about impossible working conditions or something.

Just one last thing - you say he drinks after work, how come youre still there after work? Can you leave earlier? Or are you stuck cleaning up, preparing for the next day etc?

If leaving the job is a total no go then all you can do is confront him about it while he is sober, but if he is an alcoholic its likely he will be in denial (and want to get rid of you for threatening his addiction) so dunno how much good that will do.

lee_arama

Had a boss like that once. One of those auld fellas who think that time stood still for their pub and that they needn't change at all.

I hate to say it I was glad when he died because he just fostered an impossible working environment.

In the end we came to a mutual agreement for me to leave. Heh. I went to Dublin for a week, came home and got 2 jobs in lieu, making about 3 times as much, and with better conditions.

I came out on top but shouldn't have had to leave just because the boss was an ass.

If you were a customer and had to put up with some jerk causing grief you'd have recourse for action - just cos that jerk owns the bar shouldn't mean jack. I've thrown at least 2 bar owners out of other bars in the past for unsociable behaviour.

cantdecide

Either way, you can't stay there so I'd confront him.

I'd say 'Look, John(?) I've come today a few minutes early today because I need to talk to you in private'. After that intro, you can say whatever you want. He probably knows you're right anyway. If he flies off the handle, ONE correct outcome will be met...