boyf ingoring me

LegacyUser

I don't really know where to start here. basically me and my boyf have been going out for a year and a half, doing the long distance thing for last 6 months so only get to see each other at weekends. usually he's the perfect boyfriend really nice, funny sweet patient, love him to bits in a word but in the last week he's become REALLY distant like he doesn't want to talk to me or something. We met up last weekend and it seemed fine but since then he's practically ignoring me. Usually we'd text each other a good bit every night and then he'd ring me before i/he goes to bed and we'd chat but twice during the week he's made some excuse about it being late or something. I just got back from a weekend trip there (like 5 mins ago) and he was like 'that's nice, goodnight' and also (I know how stupid this is going to sound but things like this matter to me and he knows they do) but i text him 'good night love you' and he just sent back 'night' without saying love you too. I KNOW it's so stupid but he usually NEVER forgets things like that. i got a bit upset during the week about this and he wa like of course i'm not ignoring you and got koinda mad at me for suggesting it. I don't know what to do i'm so upset i feel like he's trying to do that treat-your-girlf-like-****-until-she-breaks-up-with-you thing but it's just so sudden!! like he wrote me a flipping poem for vals day less than a month ago! anyway any advice would be really appreciated even if it's something i don't want to hear. we're both 22 before any1 asks.

star-pants

Hey OP,

You're not being stupid - you're picking up on the small things that are normally there. People notice these things, I recall a bf saying 'I know you were annoyed at me at the weekend cuz there weren't as many xxs at the end of your text'. They notice, we notice.
If you bf always says 'goodnight, love you' and then doesn't - it seems like a big difference. He has said that you're being silly of course he's not ignoring you. But yet you're still feeling insecure because you feel somethings not right. Thing is he may be having a bad week - for a number of reasons and just isn't as attentive as normal perhaps. When will you see him again? this weekend? I would suggest acting as usual and see how your weekend together goes - you'll know when you see him/are around him if somethings up or not. You could bring it up again, but you don't want to be annoying him if there's nothing wrong, and thus cause an issue out of nothing.

Faith

If I'm annoyed at my boyfriend, I do those silly immature things like not putting Xs at the the end of my messages or saying "love you" or whatever, so I don't think your stupid for being concerned. Is he stressed about anything right now? It's easy to take out stress on those close to you. The only way you'll know though is if you ask him. Otherwise, just ride it out and hope it blows over.

MeMyself&I

A month ago he wrote you a lovely poem...do you think anything has changed since then, or has anything happened?
Im also in a LDR, and my b'f is the exact same, sometimes it seems like he doesnt care, the out of the blue he does something really nice.

Maybe the distance is getting to him now, maybe he is p***ed off at something else, and unfortunately you are on the receiving end.

Why dont you sit down now and write him an email explaining how you are feeling, just ask is there anything wrong in his life and can you help. Dont be overly emotional or overly sensitive, and dont make it too much about you, or too much about the relationship. Just act like a concerned girlfriend.

I'd say this is just a phase, rough patch, LDR are very hard.

Good luck

YoungFolks

been there..an all ill say is men get their periods too!!ride it out,forget about your phone till thr weekend,because you will DRIVE YOURSELF INSANE thinking what ifs..he'll tell you whatever it is when he's ready.but try not to think about it too much,distract yourself,go out with mates to the cinema or something-gran torino is a fabulous film!!

LegacyUser

thanks for all the replies! what I didn't say is that he's studying for his final year exams at the mo and REALLY wants a 1.1 so yes is pretty stressed out and tired and stuff so maybe i am just on the recieving end of some bad moods! plus i'm having a bit of a crap time at work so i know i'm more paranoid then usual! it's a relief to know i'm not the only one who gets worried about the little things though, thanks everyone :-)

*Honey*

I agree with everyone - having been in a LDR for 15 months before we got married, I know exactly how mental stuff like this makes you. I always gave out to my then BF (now hubby) if he'd forgotten the night text or whatever... but I knew by then that I could do that and he wouldn't go mental (he could do the same to me, we had the agreement to be 100% honest with each other).

If he's so stressed out, possibly it's a bad time for him but I would like to think he'd be able to talk to you about that. However, some men are better at talking than others. It can be hard not to look clingly when in an LDR too - when you don't get the non-verbal communication, you're relying so much on what he says ... oftentimes it's what they DON'T say that's the most important.

If possible, try not to freak out too much and just play it as normal... give it a week or so and see how it fares. If necessary you may need to bring it up again, you might not have to of course and it'll resolve itself. I hope it does... best of luck.

LegacyUser

and women over analyse everything... fact

chill out. he might just be stressed or under pressure or tired etc