School

red glitter

Hi, First time poster !

ok here is the story, I have 3 big tests tomorrow and i need a good excuse to get off school! My Mam doesn't buy the whole "i've got cramps or a headache anymore" so any ideas??

thanks

Ardscoil Ris

I feel a lump on one of my balls.

Job done.

Next Please!

Edit: Or if you're a female. Then I think I'm pregnant works wonders.

red glitter

Ardscoil Ris wrote: »

I feel a lump on one of my balls.

Job done.

Next Please!

Edit: Or if you're a female. Then I think I'm pregnant works wonders.

Ehhh... yeah! dont think that will work :P

...But thanks anyway!

Piste

When your mum's near the bathroom maker yourself sick and hopefully she'll hear, then come out and moan "I don't feel too good..."

hunter164

S*it in a bag and mix it with water, then put it all over your bed and tell your ma you've the scuts.

SantryRed

What's her number?

I'll keep her up all night in the sack so she won't be able to get up in the morning.

phasers

I have the definitive one.

Pretend to go to school... then don't.
Or throw yourself down the stairs

Insect Overlord

Nice thread!

IBTL... :cool:

PlayGirl

Piste wrote: »

When your mum's near the bathroom maker yourself sick and hopefully she'll hear, then come out and moan "I don't feel too good..."

do this tonight, like soon as.. but say "i think i might be ok for school, i might be able sleep it off"..
then do it a few more times beofre tonight , again in the middle of the night, and again in the morning.. making sure she hears you each time..

worked for me a few times last year :cool:

Professey Chin

Kill someone. Youll get plenty of time off then
(I dont volunteer btw)

Fad

Mother, there is blood leaking from my vag!

WHUTSGOINON!

challengemaster

Drink some washing up liquid.. If that doesn't make you sick... There's something already quite wrong with you

Ardscoil Ris

I could come around to your house and choke you with nylon stockings. Can't go to school if your dead...or covered in man jam.

Insect Overlord

Ardscoil Ris wrote: »

I could come around to your house and choke you with nylon stockings. Can't go to school if your dead...or covered in man jam.

*nods knowingly*
He'll do it, you know.

Chanandler Bong

hunter164 wrote: »

S*it in a bag and mix it with water, then put it all over your bed and tell your ma you've the scuts.

haha nice

tolosenc

You could run away and join the circus, expedite the inevitible if skipping exams is your answer to having to sit them.

JC 2K3

Maybe you should study?

Ardscoil Ris

JC 2K3 wrote: »

Maybe you should study?

What kind of an answer is that?

I'd take AIDS any day over an exam.

Run from your problems kid. Never look back. Also, bottle everything up. I've seen fantastic results with these techniques.

Remember son, trying is the first step to failure.

Follow the above and everything will work out fine.

Ginja Ninja

Ardscoil Ris wrote: »

I'd take AIDS any day over an exam.

yeah,study AIDS that is!!!......*cricket sounds*......*tumbleweed*

but,seriously hasn't the OP been/not been to school and presumably failed already?

Crumble Froo

they're only tests. what's the worse that can happen? you fail. oh, darn.

but damn you ardscoil ris, was eating toast and read your post and laughed, and then bits of toast managed to lodge themselves in the passage between my mouth and nose, and im coughing and **** to get it out and then it dislodges and goes straight down my throat but got stuck and i started choking on it.

all very traumatic, really.

Ardscoil Ris

Crumble Froo wrote: »

they're only tests. what's the worse that can happen? you fail. oh, darn.

but damn you ardscoil ris, was eating toast and read your post and laughed, and then bits of toast managed to lodge themselves in the passage between my mouth and nose, and im coughing and **** to get it out and then it dislodges and goes straight down my throat but got stuck and i started choking on it.

all very traumatic, really.

What a strangely arousing tale of toast and asphyxiation.