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Lost confidence causing problems in relationship

  • 08-03-2009 1:43pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    recently due to forgetting to take my pill i have decided to start using the depo injection, while i was warned of putting on weight i wasn't really prepared for it (was always told the same with the pill but never put on weight with it). since getting the injection i have put on a lot of weight which has caused me to lose my self esteem and confidence. i have a history of eating disorder and while i have dealt with it as best i can i have always been self conscious and never fully happy with my body or appearance.

    i am quiet insecure in my relationship, i have been with my bf 4 years now and while he tells me i am beautiful i have never really believed him. in the last couple of weeks things have gotten quite bad with our sex life. he has tried to be understanding about my lack of confidence but i know he has gotten to the point where he is just fed up with the way things are. i have been pushing him away and avoiding having sex with him as i now feel sick at the thought of him seeing me naked and this has caused a lot of tension between the two of us in the last few weeks. i do try to be intimate with him but the minute he tries to take my top off or touch my stomach i push him away as i cannot stand it, which really insults him

    i hate feeling this way about myself and i hate myself for pushing my bf away but i cannot help it. we have always had an active, enjoyable sex life but my weight issues are just getting in the way and causing a lot of tension. has anyone any advice for me to get over this? unfortunately i have weeks to wait for the depo to get out of my system, i try to get exercise but have recently taken to comfort eating which just adds to the problem and pushes me close to old habits.

    i dont want to be this person, always pushing my boyfriend away but i cannot seem to get over my insecurities. my bf is going away on a lads holiday in a few weeks, and even though i trust him i've got it into my head that if i don't sort this out then he might go looking elsewhere. it makes me feel sick to think that i could push him so far

    thanks to anyone who read this far, im sorry for the long post. i dont really know what im looking for here. it just feels good to let it out as i don't feel comfortable talking to my friends about this. im just so sick of my insecurities and the problems they are causing in my relationship


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