Hate my job, stressed.

LegacyUser

Hi all. I'm fairly stressed with regard to my job. I'm a solicitor with a good few years experience and find I lie awake at night worrying about files and clients. To the extent that I can't sleep, have constant anxiety.

Home life is good, married with two kids, recession has hit us but thankfully I'm still employed so just about managing financially.

Never wanted to be a solicitor in the first place, actually wanted to do english lit/journalism and that is where my heart still lies. I've written some legal pieces for newspapers, unpaid, and would love to get into that field. However I know that as the main earner I can't pursue this as a career, at least for now.

Question is- how do other people cope with this kind of anxiety- are there 'coping strategies' to deal with stress and worry. How do other people with stressful jobs sleep at night!

mbren

Hi Op,

I can't say that i'm in a stressful job at the moment but I do suffer from anxiety a little bit. I'm in college at the moment and study quite hard...sometimes to the point that I know too much in exams and start wondering if i'm right or wrong. I lie awake wondering about exam results etc so it's not world apart from what your experiencing.

My solution to it, and it may not suit your lifestyle, is to go running. Not only does it tire me out (which helps me sleep easier), but it's a great way to leave off some steam and I feel great after it. All in all, it helps boost your mind and body so i'd recommend it.

Whatever happens, I hope your anxiety levels decrease soon.

Best of luck

Joey the lips

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi all. I'm fairly stressed with regard to my job. I'm a solicitor with a good few years experience and find I lie awake at night worrying about files and clients. To the extent that I can't sleep, have constant anxiety.

Home life is good, married with two kids, recession has hit us but thankfully I'm still employed so just about managing financially.

Never wanted to be a solicitor in the first place, actually wanted to do english lit/journalism and that is where my heart still lies. I've written some legal pieces for newspapers, unpaid, and would love to get into that field. However I know that as the main earner I can't pursue this as a career, at least for now.

Question is- how do other people cope with this kind of anxiety- are there 'coping strategies' to deal with stress and worry. How do other people with stressful jobs sleep at night!

Have sim life as yourself. It was rec I study to be an engineer but hated it. I then done a business degree and hated all the back stabbing at the top. Like yourself I had a hobbie for politics(Yes a hobby- deprived) What I did is ask my local party if I could produce press statement for them I am still doing this. I find it a great release. If I am pee'd off with the economy I research and write a solution in the Politicians words. It can be quite de-stressing.

What I would suggest is the road you are going, Write to the local paper poss a free one, ask if you can start a legal col. Let it grow from there.

Stop stressing esp at night. It ruins your life. Write thoughts and ideas you have down if you feel stressed it de stresses your mind. As you now have a legal head have you ever thought of contracting yourself to a paper for the purpose of advising on articles. You effectivly become an editor - Not a bad hobby!

Best of luck

luckat

Good thoughts from all, Unreg.

Two little points:

1) It's very easy to get into a self-reinforcing (damn! nearly wrote 'serf-reinforcing'; better mind that creeping socialism) cycle of negative reinforcement. You make a little mistake, you rail at yourself for it, that makes you edgy, you make another mistake - and so on.

The solution to this is to tackle it quite deliberately, and instead start giving yourself rewards and (mental) praise when you do something well - even the tiniest thing. You'll be surprised how fast you move into a cycle of positive reinforcement which makes your work and life much more pleasant.

2) If you want to write, what's stopping you? I wouldn't recommend moving into journalism at the moment - it's facing into about 20 horrible, horrible years when newspapers crumble and collapse under the pressure of free news on the internet.

This will settle out eventually into some kind of commercial model - but honestly, journalism will break your heart for the next generation.

But Unreg, if you'd like to write, choose a subject and off you go, and see what way it takes you. As you write, you'll find that your idea of where you want to go gradually takes shape, and you'll get into a better state of mind for working with satisfaction and happiness.

Miss Fluff

Have a large number of friends who are now unemployed as solicitors, they seem to have been hit particularly hard.

Why don't you think about changing course a little while still in gainful employment? Law is such a broad discipline, perhaps you are specialising in an area that doesn't excite you? Why don't you start dipping your toe into one of the more interesting parts of it like criminal or something like employment law which would be particularly useful nowadays?

Also if writing is a dream for you, why don't you do a creative writing course as an outlet in your spare time?

luckat

I have friends who are very experienced criminal lawyers, and their pay has been arbitrarily cut by the government, and the work is being torn apart by a ravaging horde of frantic semi-employed solicitors. Not a good time to turn to crime!

wasper

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi all. I'm fairly stressed with regard to my job. I'm a solicitor with a good few years experience and find I lie awake at night worrying about files and clients. To the extent that I can't sleep, have constant anxiety.

Home life is good, married with two kids, recession has hit us but thankfully I'm still employed so just about managing financially.

Never wanted to be a solicitor in the first place, actually wanted to do english lit/journalism and that is where my heart still lies. I've written some legal pieces for newspapers, unpaid, and would love to get into that field. However I know that as the main earner I can't pursue this as a career, at least for now.

Question is- how do other people cope with this kind of anxiety- are there 'coping strategies' to deal with stress and worry. How do other people with stressful jobs sleep at night!

I hated my current job, but with the situation getting dire out there. I am mentally beginning to accept my situation that I am lucky. I realise that I will be in this job for years to come unless they decide to downsize. The money is not bad, & I am realistic.
But as for not sleeping at night, is that recently or you always were like that?

Overheal

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi all. I'm fairly stressed with regard to my job. I'm a solicitor with a good few years experience and find I lie awake at night worrying about files and clients. To the extent that I can't sleep, have constant anxiety.

Home life is good, married with two kids, recession has hit us but thankfully I'm still employed so just about managing financially.

Never wanted to be a solicitor in the first place, actually wanted to do english lit/journalism and that is where my heart still lies. I've written some legal pieces for newspapers, unpaid, and would love to get into that field. However I know that as the main earner I can't pursue this as a career, at least for now.

Question is- how do other people cope with this kind of anxiety- are there 'coping strategies' to deal with stress and worry. How do other people with stressful jobs sleep at night!

I recently met a nice guy at a car dealership who had teaching and law degrees up on the wall. I asked him why he has been doing cars for 20 odd years then he said it was meant to be a summer job one year and it just stuck

Dont let a degree pigeon-hole you into a career you are unhappy with.

LegacyUser

Thanks to all who took the time to reply.

Running is a good idea- mbren do you go running in evenings or mornings? This might help me enormously if I can get into it. I'm not at all fit at the moment so I guess I could start off slow.

I actually did a creative writing course last year- my OH surprised me with booking a course for me at the local uni. I loved it and I got great feedback ( mind you, only positive criticism was allowed so...). A couple of years ago I quit a job ( pre children) and was unemployed for 3 months, in those three months I wrote part of a novel, an outline etc and sent it to a publishers. They wrote back with mild interest looking for more. But by the time I heard back I was employed again and never replied. I work long hours so it is very difficult to fit in any writing into the week. Plus now with the kids I have to put them first when I do get home.

I've had a few different specialities during my career- started off as a commercial prop solicitor, then drifted into litigation for a few years. Mainly construction/civil litigation- I loved it but was on the road the whole time going from circuit to circuit ( circus to circus!). Now you could say I'm general practice and I do quite like it- or at least I'm not hankering after any other speciality.

I probably am a bit of a worrier in general- I have had periods of anxiety in the past. Honestly put it down to the job though, am not a worrier about anything else but that. Maybe with the recession it has caused a build up of stress too. Like many solicitors we are under constant pressure to bring in fees, and fee income is much more difficult at present so that does lead to a stressful time. I know that I cannot walk away from the job at the moment so just need coping strategies.

In time ( maybe 5 years) my plan would be to get out of law completely. My OH is retraining careers at the moment so between the two of us we would manage once that training is over.

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

I'm hearing you completely (wish I wasn't - you know what I mean!).

I studied business (not because I had any interest but because it was 1990 and - in my head, at least - it was still the bleak 1980s, and I was scared stiff of finding myself in interminable years of dire unemployment). What I really wanted to do was journalism. So I did it. Got a freelance (but regular) gig with a pretty big national publication... and guess what? I hated it. If you think back-stabbing, one-upmanship, petty competitiveness etc is the preserve of business etc, it's sure not.

Had a bit of a "well, what the hell do you want then?" period with myself - pi££ed off that I was a silly little moaner with too many options. Then it dawned on me that it wasn't journalism I wanted to do but writing. Like yourself, I started a novel and was really into it. But, as you know too, when a kid comes along, there's not much scope for spending days, weeks, months at something that doesn't bring in the cash. So I let it slip. Kept meaning to return to it but never did.

Four years on, myself and my now wife are having problems. It reached a point a couple of months ago where she said: "Obviously, you're not a happy person. Go and figure out why and deal with it". I thought it over and it became pretty clear that I was unhappy because I'm not doing what I want. I want to finish that novel.

I discussed this with my wife and she (women invariably being far more generous than men when it comes to things like this!) said: "Well, if that's it, resign and write the fecking thing, and then maybe we can move on and get back to normal".

So that's what I'm doing. Every morning from 6 until 2pm. Then from 9 to 11 in the evening.

It might turn out toi be the craziest thing I've ever done. But I've done it. Right now, I'm feeling like I used to feel - like the person I know I am.

I'm not suggesting you pack in your job - clearly that's not possible. But could you set aside an hour early in the morning before you leave? Could you set aside 30 mins at lunchtime to look over what you've done that morning? Could you schedule another hour or so in the evenings? Maybe weekend mornings?

Whatever you do, truly wish you the best of luck.

Affable

It may sound obvious, but have you thought about how you could 'downsize'. Live somwhere cheaper, get out of the rat race. Then you could probably feel better about yourself by having some time to think and time to do what you actually want to do.

But I agree with the guy above. Writing your dream novel is way more worthwhile while than journalism, a fairly superficial and over represented profession full of pushy people like the ones you describe.

Warmaster

hey OP,

Cucumber actually helps with stress apparently! And it's healthy as hell. Running/exercise as has already been mentioned may be good for you so give it a shot!

I was just talkin to a woman today who did biotech, BSc then PhD I think, didn't want to stay in it so took a diploma course in IP management or something then broke into the new jobs with her experience not the subject of her degree.

I;m doing a PhD right now and learning to deal with absurd amounts of stress but I love it and I'm getting through it because I love what I'm doing, if you're not happy it may be better to change now rather than later.

just my 2 cents