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How can I stop my son's 'friend' from kicking him

  • 06-03-2009 5:13pm
    #1
    LINDA08
    Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭


    Since my son started in Junior Infants in September he has been having issues with a little lad in his class who for some reason or another has decided to use by son as his punch bag.

    I have spoken with the teacher, initially back in October and again this week as the problem seems to be getting worse. When I spoke to her recently her reply was that 'they were friends' and 'boys tend to kick'. I told her I was looking for any advice she could give me as I had corrected this little lad in front of his mam when he has been kicking my son repeatidly into his stomach but it didn't seem to make any difference.

    The problem is my son plays with this lad together with other boys from his class but it seems to be my son that gets the brunt of all the belts and kicks, irrespective of whether I am there or not. I have encouraged my son to try stand up for himself and maybe then this other little lad would stop but he is I admit very soft and wouldn't be street wise, although he is a good head taller than this little lad who's kicking him.

    I don't want to turn my son into a bully but I don't want him to be anyones punch bag either, so if anyone has any suggestions on how to deal with it I would really really appreciate it as it's really tormenting both watching and listening to my son go on about how it's only him that this boy kicks, although he continues to play with him.

    By the way his Mam wouldn't be that approachable and children being children I know they two boys will probably continue playing together so I'm not sure how best to handle it.


Comments

  • #2
    biddy21
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 121 ✭✭biddy21


    Sometimes the only thing to do is tell your son to give him a good kick when no-one is looking, when every thing else fails!!!!!!! might not be his nature but he needs to stand up for himself


  • #3
    E.T.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,170 ✭✭✭E.T.


    Do you know if your child's class have done the Stay Safe programme yet? (Your son would have brought home a permission slip for you to sign and return for this). If not, have a look on www.staysafe.ie - it's a programme designed to make children aware of what to do in different situations, it's really well done. The class mightn't have covered it yet. There's a section there on bullying, and what we teach children to do is very simple: Say NO. Move away. Tell (a teacher, SNA). If you can let your child know that they can stand up for themselves as simply as this, it really helps. I definitely wouldn't advise telling him to fight back, as he could end up in trouble himself! We do this programme every second year (small school with mixed classes so we'd end up covering the same material twice if we did it every year), and it's very very effective


  • #4
    LINDA08
    Closed Accounts Posts: 84 ✭✭LINDA08


    E.T. wrote: »
    Do you know if your child's class have done the Stay Safe programme yet? (Your son would have brought home a permission slip for you to sign and return for this). If not, have a look on www.staysafe.ie - it's a programme designed to make children aware of what to do in different situations, it's really well done. The class mightn't have covered it yet. There's a section there on bullying, and what we teach children to do is very simple: Say NO. Move away. Tell (a teacher, SNA). If you can let your child know that they can stand up for themselves as simply as this, it really helps. I definitely wouldn't advise telling him to fight back, as he could end up in trouble himself! We do this programme every second year (small school with mixed classes so we'd end up covering the same material twice if we did it every year), and it's very very effective

    Thanks very much for that, no they def. have not covered that programme yet, I've read up on it and it looks like an excellent programme so it will be something I will follow up with the school to see when they are going to run it.

    I have to admit I have been telling him to stand up for himself and retaliate as it was hard to see him being kicked and punched when he and I asked the other lad to stop and it was falling on deaf ears. Over the weekend we have been talking about school and I asked him to stop playing with this lad until he stops kicking him but he said but he's the boss and he tells everyone else not to play with me. This is all too much for a small child as far as I'm concerned but I will now get him to say NO and move away and advise the teacher when this happens, i just hope she takes him seriously as unfortunately despite talking to her myself on a few occasions it doesn't seem to have had any difference.

    Thanks all for the replies.


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