Is it cheating?

LegacyUser

Right, i've been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks and we get on pretty well. We've never actually said we were going out but I thought twas fairly obvious. Anyway last night she was going out and texted me this morning saying she kissed a random guy in a club and felt really bad, and that after it she realised that she really liked me. She seems genuinely sorry... Do I
a - say its ok because we weren't going out, and make it official?

or b - end it to save myself future pain?

Any advise is greatly appreciated

Princessa

Nobody here can answer that but you. If you really like her and think you can trust her and want a proper relationship than you know what to do. If you dont think you'll be able to trust her then you also know what to do... Good luck, have a hard think... it will all become clear what you want..

bada_bing

hmmmmm it seems to me that she's just not really that into you if she kissed some random guy after dating you for a couple of weeks. I just wonder if she's the sort that strays very easily and blames it on drink or some flimsy excuse.
personally if i was in that situation, i'd end it because it's not too hard to turn down someone in a nightclub and say i'm already dating someone, sorry!!

but as someone else said, it's entirely up to you and if you feel that she deserves another chance then go for it.

shellyboo

Confused_guy wrote: »

Right, i've been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks and we get on pretty well. We've never actually said we were going out but I thought twas fairly obvious. Anyway last night she was going out and texted me this morning saying she kissed a random guy in a club and felt really bad, and that after it she realised that she really liked me. She seems genuinely sorry... Do I
a - say its ok because we weren't going out, and make it official?

or b - end it to save myself future pain?

Any advise is greatly appreciated

Hmm, if you didn't have "the conversation" I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. It's also possible that she's just saying this in order to initiate said conversation

Make it official, give her a chance - but don't tell her it was "ok". Explain you're a bit hurt, but you understand what happened - clean slate and no kissing boys from hereon out!

prinz

you (a) say it made you think about how much you like her, make it official and get on that! simple as.

thorbarry

Confused_guy wrote: »

Right, i've been seeing this girl for a couple of weeks and we get on pretty well. We've never actually said we were going out but I thought twas fairly obvious. Anyway last night she was going out and texted me this morning saying she kissed a random guy in a club and felt really bad, and that after it she realised that she really liked me. She seems genuinely sorry... Do I
a - say its ok because we weren't going out, and make it official?

or b - end it to save myself future pain?

Any advise is greatly appreciated

It actually happened to me with an ex... we were seeing each other 2/3 weeks max.. nothin official, she told me that she kissed a guy in a club, and pulled out mid kiss, she said she felt really guilty and was sorry.. i forgave her, i didnt think it was too big a deal as we were only seeing each other a short time.. to my knowledge it never happened again, i say let it slide. But if you have any suspicions of it happening again, it can really get to you.. just make sure that if you do forgive her, your not harboring any bad feelings

Katgurl

I say go for it.

Ok, its not the best start but she has given you green light that she's serious about you & you presumably feel the same. Its a shame she only realised this after she kissed someone else but int eh grander scheme of things a kiss in a nightclub isn't a huge deal and she wasnt' sure how things stood & if it was a betrayal or not. Also there was no need for her to tell you.so presumablly she's a trustworthy girl who wont' mess you about.

Put it out of your head completely & give things a shot. Best of luck.

bubblewrap

The one thing you need to consider is the fact she told you, she could have easily put it to the back of her mind and pretended nothing happened.

I would give it a shot but take it slowly and definately don't let her think it was ok as it was said before. Say as you didn't know where things were going, you will give her the benefit of the doubt this time but you want nothing more like this to happen again if she wants to make a go of it.

Good luck.

dudara

The start of a relationship can be funny. Why? Because you may not be sure that you're in a relationship, or you may not be sure that you really, really like the other person. It can be a confusing time.

If you didn't explicitly have a conversation with each other where you 'decided' that you were going out, then things were a little grey, even if you thought that they were clear.

Ultimately, only the two of you can decide if your relationship is going to continue. But whatever happens, remember that you can't assume things when it comes to relationships. You need to communicate so everyone knows what happening.

Gyalist

Is it cheating? No.

The correct answer to the text is "cool" or some other anodyne one word answer. Whether or not the alleged incident actually happened - and I'd have my doubts - her real message to you is not being explicitly expressed but it is being sub-communicated ( as women tend to do). Her message is "where do we stand"?

She's trying to railroad you into a relationship. Even if that's what you want, it would be wise to not make a decision right away as to do so would be reactive. Don't get drawn into any discussion of this incident. Continue to see her and if in a few weeks you feel the same, make it "official" (whatever that means).:rolleyes::rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Dude don't drop her but whatever you do DON'T make her your Plan A either. Keep her as a back up if another hotter babe bombs out on you or for a midweek bit of fluff on the side. There are oodles of girls out there for the taking. Why get involved with ONE girl who obviously doesn't have respect for you and thinks nothing of pashing some random dude in a club? When you learn the game you will realize that she like many girls are not long term girl friend material but are better off as short term use 'em and lose 'em kinda chickie babes

Wibbs

Gyalist wrote: »

Is it cheating? No.

The correct answer to the text is "cool" or some other anodyne one word answer. Whether or not the alleged incident actually happened - and I'd have my doubts - her real message to you is not being explicitly expressed but it is being sub-communicated ( as women tend to do). Her message is "where do we stand"?

She's trying to railroad you into a relationship. Even if that's what you want, it would be wise to not make a decision right away as to do so would be reactive. Don't get drawn into any discussion of this incident. Continue to see her and if in a few weeks you feel the same, make it "official" (whatever that means).:rolleyes::rolleyes:

I would broadly agree with this. If she's interested in you, why text you with that info? Makes no sense. Even if she wasn't into you, it still makes little sense out of the blue. It sounds to me like Gyalist said, she's pushing you for a decision. I would also agree not to make an issue of it. Though if you do like her, she may take your lack of issue as an indication that you're not interested. Hard one to call. Then again, she's the one who brought it up, so maybe go with Gyalist's advice.