Wish he would be happy to come back

LegacyUser

Hi there,

My situation is that i met a guy two years ago and we started going out and had fun. It was always going to be fun as he was living ireland. however, I got pregnant (unplanned, had used a condom and never did anything risky), we were both shocked but happy and decided to make a go of it and he would no longer be leaving.

We always had a great friendship and amazing sex, so the relationship was always good and now it just got better, from both our points of view. Then nearly 12 weeks pregnant our baby died and i had to have a D&C etc He was with me the whole time and we both cried our hearts out together, it made us stronger and a special bond our daughter created was still there. However, so was his need to leave and do what he needs to do. Because i genuinely care about him i did nothing to stop him, although he did know i was very upset when we broke up. i knew he had to do what he had to do and i respect and support that.

Its been 7 months and i know he has gone, we dont have contact anymore i needed not to. As much as i accepted his decision i didnt want to hear about it.

My issue is that i still think about him, more than i have anyone else before and in a different way. I have never felt as natural with someone like this before in a weird way it was like that whole other half thing. I used to think that was just a title, now i think its a feeling. I have been back out on the dating scene and have met a few guys, but nothing serious as i dont think i can be with anyone at the moment, but im aware i need to move on etc But a part of me really wishes he wanted to come back, i would never want him to come back for me, but for him, we both deserve that. Should i keep wishing on cop myself on? Its not like my life is completely on hold, the only thing that is, is being serious with someone. So its more a daydream not a whole dreamworld i am in What do you think?

Sorry for the long post.

RedXIV

sounds like you need closure, Can you contact him? if you can, why not? you might be able to give it another go. By the sounds of your post, the aftermath of your miscarrage (i'm very sorry btw) was the source of your problems. if you've dealt with this, and he has, I don't see why it couldn't work?

Salome

It sounds like the relationship was only continuing because of the pregnancy. He wanted to leave and he stayed because he wanted to at the time. He sounds like a man who takes his responsibilities seriously. However, IMO, if he had wanted to stay, for you and the relationship, he would have. But he didn't.

He hasn't contacted you since, right? I think that speaks multitudes.

I'm sorry OP, I think it's very much over. If it wasn't, he would have been in touch, he would be there with you now.

LegacyUser

Hi

He has contacted me, before he left and since, but before he left i told him i needed space from him and i couldnt be friends with him just yet. When he has contacted me its been nice, caring etc

I sort of agree with what you said if he wanted to stay he could of, but this was something he had to do and always wanted to do and i woudlnt take that away from him either. He was also grieving and some people deal with grieve by removing themselves too. I know he hasnt found any of this easy, he told me himself. He is confused, hurt, lots of things.

I couldnt contact him because i know him well enough to know if he wants to be with me, he will let me know. Until then there is no point in contacting him as nothing will have changed.

Salome

Then you know you can't do anything - you need to close that part of your life and move on.