Need some opinions

shreksaurus

I've always been foolish when it came to men. And i need some opinions on this.

The story:

I'm female and recently joined up to an online dating site. I've been chatting to some guys as in sending messages back and forth to our inboxes.

Its hard to say because its all online but theres one guy in particular that I like. Have been chatting to him for about 2 weeks. Last week sent him a message, and then nothing. I didn't get a message from him (I played it cool with him. Thought he wasn't interested in me and moved on). He didn't reply until yesterday. Told me he was very busy (even though he was still logging into his profile every few days). Now he wants to meet. He gave me his number and all.

I just don't know what to think. One minute i get the impression that hes interested, and then the other minute nothing.

Need some opinions. Should I avoid him or what.

Latchy

It depends OP .How much do you know about this guy ? .Enough to meet him in public ? Was his ' busy ' explanation plausible ? Seems strange he was logging in and took longer to reply . Not sure what to suggest

cantdecide

Generally, it's messaging, maybe IMing, texting and calling/ meeting. It's not a massive thing to jump ahead like this but you could try exchanging numbers???

He could have had a prospect in 'real life' that could have absorbed his attention for a little while though a little covert questioning could be in order...

shreksaurus

I know very little about him except for what he wrote to me (hopefully the truth). He knows little about me too, yet he seems eager to meet me.

Its a bit to quick and fast for my liking.

I definately dont want to meet him yet, and thats for sure.

Should I even bother with him on the dating site?

Latchy

He might be lonely ,desperate, both, and sombody eger to meet anybody ( as in anybody who will take up his offer ) .Or he might just be as anxious as you about meeting up .But as you dont wish to meet him now , then best tell him that .Then chew over it for a bit longer . You might discover somebody you feel more comfortable with .

Katniss everMean

I wouldn't be worried that a guy showed lots of interest then just disappeared for a few days guys are sometimes special and if they are anyway busy can't focus on two things at once.

Meeting face to face in my opinion is not a big deal at all! How did people used to meet before the internet? Just meet in a public place with lots of people is my only advice really. Don't plan any thing epic or long for your first meeting, just get coffee or something, gives you both a chance to run if either of you aren't into each other, though allows you to make it longer and head for a walk or shocker "museum", anything that lets you talk really. Cinema is just an excuse to be around each other without the need to talk.

Hope it works out or is at least fun!

Salome

I don't get the impression that you're comfortable moving onto the next step and meeting someone. If you're not ready, don't do it. If he's interested, he'll respect that and wait a bit longer.

On the other hand, if he's logged into his profile and not messaged you after your message, I don't get the vibe that he's that into you.

Be cautious, make sure you are 100% comfortable with it before you meet someone. It can be worthwhile though - I met a few idiots before I met my man - he was worth the wait!!

Monkey61

I wouldn't be put off him just because he wants to meet up. Fun as it is chatting to people online, I'd rather just take the plunge and meet up with someone because you are never going to know if you get on with them until then.

I met up with a girl I had been exchanging messages with online last week. We got on really well on the net, loads of shared interests and stuff - but when we met up it was horrible. Despite having loads in common, something just wasn't right and we didn't hit it off at all.

Chances are if you had met him on a night out in a busy pub you would know equally little about him, but would be happy enough to meet up with him again after exchanging a few texts.

If you want to meet a potential boyfriend online there's not much point wasting loads of your own time building up an image of this particular guy in your head that could be totally wrong. So you might as well meet up with him and find out.

Nevyn

Whats the point unless you are going to meet up for even a coffee date ?
Agree a time and place somewhere nice and public and meet him
see what he is like in person rather then getting emotionally attched
and wasting more time.

shreksaurus

Thanks for all the replies.

Monkey61 and Thaedydal you've both made a lot of sense in your messages. Thank you. I've decided that i'm going to meet him. Its probably best to meet early on so that we'll have things to talk about, and things to ask and its not all wrote in a message beforehand.

Angelkat7, coffee is a great idea for a first meet up. Thanks for that. I wonder what would be a good place to meet for a coffee - cafe, restaurant or hotel?

shellyboo

shreksaurus wrote: »

Angelkat7, coffee is a great idea for a first meet up. Thanks for that. I wonder what would be a good place to meet for a coffee - cafe, restaurant or hotel?

Not meaning to sound like I'm judging the guy, but not a hotel. He might get the wrong idea - you really never know with guys off dating sites!