Problem with Boss's Girlfriend

LegacyUser

Have to go unreg for this..

Boss's girlfriend phoned around 10 times today ... is he in, is he in, is he in - and I explained no, but we have been talking to him on the mobile I'll let him know you were asking for him when he gets in (As you do) - She says no don't just text me when he gets in etc etc.

Now I'm here along time and have a very good relationship with my boss - no issues, so I said listen **** is looking for you, but whatever is going on I don't want to get caught in the middle with the phone calls etc - he said no problems.

He wasn't out the door 2 mins and the sh(*e hit the proverbial fan. She phoned again and asked was he there and I said no he has just walked out - 'I know' says she, he was just onto me - did you tell him I was looking for him and I said yes - she hurled abuse at me on the phone - cannot even re type it and then hung up. I was shocked to say the least and said I'd say it to him when he got back.

20 mins later the phone rings again - I was asked what sort of a woman am I and all of this - I explained I was a women who's only job is the job I am doing now to ensure my mortgage and bills are paid - I don't care about your personal life says she - and started hurling a litany of abuse at me. At this stage I calmly told her if she had any issue with her and my boss they needed to be resolved without me in the middle of it - BIG MISTAKE - That I was a devious lying ........(you can fill in the blanks here) and I couldn't wait to tell him she phoned and why did I do it and all this ... More abuse and at this stage I informed her I was hanging up as I wasn't paid to listen to that.

She phoned me back - and this is were it gets VERY MESSY !! She is a director in the company (Silent Director) and informed me that she will never phone me for anything every again - either work and personal and that everything my boss says about me must be true and I cannot be trusted and she hung up.

I am so upset it's not funny - what the hell do I do now ? I am the only earner in our house with a big mortgage and love my job ?

axel rose

Write down the conversation now! You can forget the details very quickly so its important to know exactly what was said. Was anyone in the office when crazy bint (cb) rang?
Then go to your boss and tell him what happened. If cb has any pride she wont follow this up, if she does then you have enough of a history proven to damn herself. Be glad that she wont have direct contact with you.

As for her accusations.....she is a crazy bint!

doolox

I'd get to a solicitor and get it on record now in the event she tries to get you fired.
Your boss might be shoe-horned into letting you go if his girlfriend pushes the issue.
You need to have it on public record the abuse you had to deal with in case you are fired.

DavidH82

Take notes of times of phone calls and what she says to you. This will help you make a strong case if you were dismissed because of this. Also speak to your boss. You mentioned that you had no issues so he should be reasonable about it. If he is a competent manager he will realise that this is unacceptable behaviour for you to have to deal with and he will do something to resolve it.

doolox

On re-reading your post there is room for plenty of hope.
You love your job. Therefore your boss must be a reasonable person and will take a balanced view of things. Chances are he will leave strict instructions to the girlfriend that uncivil behaviour on the phone will not be accepted.
If this continues it might be worthwhile finding out how call-centers deal with the inevitable abuse they receive from an admittedly tiny minority of evil tempered people out there. Recording phone conversations may be an option but there is a bunch of ethics surrounding the use of recording equipt on phones.
Regarding being the only breadwinner and big mortgages and all that I'd say leave it out. Don't mention that to the boss or the girlfriend. It gives them power which you don't want her to have.

AARRRGH

Unregistered wrote: »

She is a director in the company (Silent Director)

Director of the company being abusive to staff? Silly woman...

As others have stated, write everything down, and go straight to HR. Skip going to your boss - he is too involved to be impartial.

What a retarded situation.

Jumpy

I gather from her explanation this is a very small operation. I would doubt there is a HR department.

kravmaga

Unregistered wrote: »

Have to go unreg for this..

Boss's girlfriend phoned around 10 times today ... is he in, is he in, is he in - and I explained no, but we have been talking to him on the mobile I'll let him know you were asking for him when he gets in (As you do) - She says no don't just text me when he gets in etc etc.

Now I'm here along time and have a very good relationship with my boss - no issues, so I said listen **** is looking for you, but whatever is going on I don't want to get caught in the middle with the phone calls etc - he said no problems.

He wasn't out the door 2 mins and the sh(*e hit the proverbial fan. She phoned again and asked was he there and I said no he has just walked out - 'I know' says she, he was just onto me - did you tell him I was looking for him and I said yes - she hurled abuse at me on the phone - cannot even re type it and then hung up. I was shocked to say the least and said I'd say it to him when he got back.

20 mins later the phone rings again - I was asked what sort of a woman am I and all of this - I explained I was a women who's only job is the job I am doing now to ensure my mortgage and bills are paid - I don't care about your personal life says she - and started hurling a litany of abuse at me. At this stage I calmly told her if she had any issue with her and my boss they needed to be resolved without me in the middle of it - BIG MISTAKE - That I was a devious lying ........(you can fill in the blanks here) and I couldn't wait to tell him she phoned and why did I do it and all this ... More abuse and at this stage I informed her I was hanging up as I wasn't paid to listen to that.

She phoned me back - and this is were it gets VERY MESSY !! She is a director in the company (Silent Director) and informed me that she will never phone me for anything every again - either work and personal and that everything my boss says about me must be true and I cannot be trusted and she hung up.

I am so upset it's not funny - what the hell do I do now ? I am the only earner in our house with a big mortgage and love my job ?

---

Why doesnt she just ring his mobile number direct.
Are you the company receptionist?
Seek advice from a solicitor just in case they let you go and get all the details down on paper.

Then you may have a case for constructive dismissal.
Sounds like you are getting the brunt of her frustration, he has proably given her the elbow, lol

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Thank you for the response. I did talk to my boss who was mortified and informed me I will never have to deal with a situation like this again and apologised profusely. So I let the matter lie, but do have times, dates etc.

Last Wedndesday the phone rang and I recognised her number and answered as if nothing happened. She asked me all sickely nicely to get her some information she would be in in an hour. I said no problems, got the information and had it ready for her.

She came in an hour later I asked her did she want a cup of tea as if nothing happened and she was motified - but didn't feckin apologise.... anyway - she said no and made my own cup and about an hour later I brought her in one without asking. She said thanks very much and about 2 minutes later came out and asked 'was it just tea ?' - I started to laugh and told her I wouldn't stoop to that level and yes it was just tea.

Nothing else has been done or said. I think the issue may be over with - and yes there is no HR - a very small company and I have a very serious role within the company.

Thanks for all your help.

Blue_Wolf

i would buy cheap tape recorder and wait for her to ring again.

WindSock

Do you have caller ID? If so...don't answer the phone!!
Seriously, the advice on this thread is good, write down each incident you can remember including times and dates. I wouldnt worry about her 'threats' if she is telling you the boss says you can't be trusted then he would have let you go ages ago.

Heineken Helen

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi all,

Thank you for the response. I did talk to my boss who was mortified and informed me I will never have to deal with a situation like this again and apologised profusely. So I let the matter lie, but do have times, dates etc.

Last Wedndesday the phone rang and I recognised her number and answered as if nothing happened. She asked me all sickely nicely to get her some information she would be in in an hour. I said no problems, got the information and had it ready for her.

She came in an hour later I asked her did she want a cup of tea as if nothing happened and she was motified - but didn't feckin apologise.... anyway - she said no and made my own cup and about an hour later I brought her in one without asking. She said thanks very much and about 2 minutes later came out and asked 'was it just tea ?' - I started to laugh and told her I wouldn't stoop to that level and yes it was just tea.

Nothing else has been done or said. I think the issue may be over with - and yes there is no HR - a very small company and I have a very serious role within the company.

Thanks for all your help.

You dealt with it perfectly... well done:Dit's best to have a laugh about this stuff. Obviously she was entirely unprofessional and it wasn't nice for you to have to deal with that... and she certainly should have apologised. But obviously some people aren't capable of apologies. Just let it go... but keep hold of your notes just in case and continue to take notes should something similar happen in the future.

I had something similar before... working as a secretary. I knew this guy was having some kinda trouble with the girl who called for him. So one day she called and I could tell she was annoyed cos she just asked to speak to his boss so, I lied and told her his boss wasn't there... BIG mistake... I got the brunt of everything:rolleyes: . She started ranting and raving about him and what a prick he is and how he hasn't been paying her maintenance or something. I sat there open mouthed for a minute not knowing what to do or say and eventually I just calmly said 'look this is absolutely none of my business and I don't want to know about it. I'm just the secretary here'. Thankfully she accepted that and that was the end of it. I did let him know and told him how she was looking for his boss too.. that's all the involvement I was having. I also told him that I didn't want it to happen again. He was very very embarrassed. Seriously... we all have bad days... but if you want to rant... well that's what the samaritans are paid for:cool:

doolox

Handled brilliantly.
You display all the good aspects of human nature well beyond the call of duty.
It is very difficult to hold your composure when confronted with assholes like the girlfriend.
On more than one occasion my reaction to pushy, aggressive people got me into trouble and could have cost me my job.
In the end it put me in intolerable position of having to work alongside them after not being able to get them in trouble because of my bad tempered reaction to their bad treatment.
I am in counselling now learning to "set my boundaries" and cope with difficult people and situations without losing my cool.
So far this year I have kept my temper in situations where I would have formerly lost it. So far two people have had to answer for their ill-treatment and I have been vindicated.
I hope to continue keeping my cool and let the bullies destroy themselves by their own actions.