What to do for friend in need?

Irishcrx

Hi guys,

Basicly a friend of mine had a big fight with his parents last week and ended up being pretty badly beaten by his Dad and thrown out of the house a few days after his 18'th birthday , he had nowhere to stay so I've let him stay with me for the moment. He has tried reasoning with them but they just seem to want him out, why I don't know he is one of the most decent young people I have ever met. I'm 22 and I own my own house so I haven't minded him staying with me for the moment. He has asked me can he move in since I have a spare room that I usually rent out and I have said it's no problem on the condition that he gets sorted and has to pay rent as I rely on it and i'll try be as fair as I can to let him get on his feet.

But I don't know if he is going to be able to find a job with the way things are, he never did his Leaving cert, he's only 18 and I don't know if the social welfare will help him out with welfare or rent allowance payments or not, I mean I think they should cause the chap could genuinely be out on the street and I don't want to see that...But I do have bills to pay aswell anybody lend advice?

Sinall

See what happens over the next week or two with jobs, rent allowance etc. He is probably still all over the place emotionally.

If nothing has been sorted then, sit down and have a proper chat with him and explain that you will need to have some sort of income/payment for renting a room.

Cianos

It's important to set the rules now before he gets too comfortable. While I don't want to make presumptions about the guy, he may end up seeing how to take advantage of your good nature. Tell him that you can't financially support him but you want to help him get everything together. Give him a hand with looking for welfare or counselling - all that stuff can be really daunting for a guy his age. If you set things straight from now on, it'll avoid a lot of hassle and possible arguments.

bluecell99

Well fair play to you for being a friend and great that he has somewhere for the minute.Not nice to go thru what he did but,at eighteen,he is now an adult and his parents have no obligation legally towards him whatsoever.Dont want to sound harsh but they certainly dont sound like they want him back any time soon.Besides which does he really want to??

He can vote,leave the country,get a job,get married if he wants to.He does not have to take violence from anyone.Times are hard economically but all you can do is ,as the previous poster has said,is listen to him,take a couple of weeks and see the lie of the land and just explain how much the rental for the room is important to your situation.There are entitlements and he just needs to clear his head and get out there,get inquiring,get busy with some footwork and move on.There are some jobs all the time(albeit not great pay)if you are prepared to work and learn and be flexible.

I know a 22 year old who jacked in a restaurant job three weeks ago,made out some cv's and walked the city centre for the last two Saturdays handing them out in bars and shops.He is starting next Monday in a retailer and got twelve replies to his direct approach!Sometimes people like this.

In any case things will be ok ,just relax for a few days.he will come to his own decisions.