"Im in a weird place right now"

QueenB

this is what he said, when i went to visit him.
im gonna try to summarized it as much as i can.
This guy i was seeing last year and i are currently living in different countries. we are not together now,the reason being basically that we are both 22(silly and stupid) and we didnt want the relationship to 'fade' since we know we are gonna be appart for at least 2 years,when we both return to ireland. Still when he insisted that i go to the west coast to visit him during my summer hols in the states(i was in new york) after a lot of thought i decided to go(so i wont deal with the whole "what ifs" situation later). So i got there right, first day or so, it was like no time had passed, and we were back being a couple again. the day after(after his rugby match), he started acting weird and 2 days later, when i asked him what was wrong he said that we would talk about it when he came back(class) and then this is what he said:
"im in a weird place right now,you are everything i would look for in a girl but right now i cant be in this, timing isnt right. in a year or maybe too, i know ill be ready. can we be friends now? obviously i said sure, but he was still acting sooo weird throughout the week i was there, luckly for me i became great friends with his friends and girlfriends so i had my mind on other things.. the last day i was there, he gave me as a gift a jersey i know is really important for him and told me he wanted me to have it. and when we were sayin our goodbyes he tried to kiss me and when i kinda refused he said "but.. you understood what i said about timing right?" i said "yeah" kissed him, and left.
...well... actually i dont get it,cos now 3 weeks later(and me not talkin to him at all,and he basically not really trying) thanks to facebook(i hate that fockin thing sometimes) i read that he is 'in a relationship' with a girl that basically(and im not lying here) has an almost nude pic of herself.. im no virgin mary, but..oh well doesnt really matter i suppose


am i a complete fool? did he lie to me?
im so confused.. i dunno what to do......... im so sad.

Jimmy Bottlehead

You need to ask him.

AARRRGH

Before you wrote the Facebook stuff I had already decided to post he is in a relationship.

He lied to you to -

a. save himself the hassle of having to tell you
b. save you from getting hurt

The only thing you can do is try your best to move on. This means removing him from your life, keeping yourself busy, and being kind to yourself.

MagicMarker

wtf is a black trash slapper?

Maybe he doesn't like ''crackers''?

red_ice

maybe she feels that because the girl hes with is a different colour she has a right to call her names and that hes an idiot for picking her over the op.

OP, he told you he doesnt want to be with you or be near you. With comments like the one above i can see why. Deal with it.

kaa

i think you should ask him and tell him be man about it. because you went to see him and all that it is the least he could tell you the truth.

about what he said to you might be a complement in a weird way....i think he ment that you are the type to settle down with and he would be a happy with for the rest of his life. and as for the slapper maybe that is why he is with her for the free ride and he just wants fun.

but ask him for the truth

QueenB

sorry you are right that comment was out ouf line, i just should have wrote, "that has an almost nude pic of her as profile pic.." again, sorry im gonna chage it rigt now, theres no excure for that.

starchild

it sounds to me like he is genuinely trying not to hurt you but in actual fact he is being a bit of an idiot and not being straight with you, forget about him & live your life

MagicMarker

I don't get the problem tbh.

He asked you to be friends and you agreed.

Das Kitty

red_ice wrote: »

maybe she feels that because the girl hes with is a different colour she has a right to call her names and that hes an idiot for picking her over the op.

You're assuming OP is white... if she had said "white trash" would it be OK with you?

Anyway, OP, you know the answer to your own question, he dumped you for someone else. Can't believe he fed you a classic breakup line and you kissed him goodbye though!

QueenB

kaa wrote: »

i think you should ask him and tell him be man about it. because you went to see him and all that it is the least he could tell you the truth.

about what he said to you might be a complement in a weird way....i think he ment that you are the type to settle down with and he would be a happy with for the rest of his life. and as for the slapper maybe that is why he is with her for the free ride and he just wants fun.

but ask him for the truth

yeah see.. thats what i thought, besides i never initiate anything.. he was always the one that was telling me stuff like "i showed my dad pics of us and he approves of you" or his friends telling me 'ive heard so much about you'
but then, its like,i dont know in america he is like a completly different person,as in everybody thinks of him as this like 'van wilder' who doesnt have a care in the world and the thing is, he is not like that AT ALL.
visiting him there, was like meeting another person entirely

Gyalist

Consider it a valuable life lesson learned. LDRs, generally, are seldom worth the hassle.

red_ice

Das Kitty wrote: »

You're assuming OP is white... if she had said "white trash" would it be OK with you?

What? It was a racial comment - end of story, unacceptable and information which had absolutely nothing to do with the topic.

I dont know about you 'das kitty', but no comment that has a racial tang to it is acceptable in my books and afaik in the forum charter either. Maybe its alright in your circle of friends to make comments like that - but here, where everyone else can see it its not. Keep it to yourself.