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Parent Worry

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  • 04-03-2009 12:47pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Long story so I'll keep it short.
    When I was small my family lived in an estate and it was torture, we were name called and bullied and other things. My parents were close to splitting and my mother was suicidal.
    In the past few years, my parents have ended up living in another estate and they have no peace from morning to night.
    The problem is that I feel so responsible for them. I am the only sibling left living near my parents. I try and help them out and drive them around so they won't have to walk through the estate.
    I don't mind any of this, I love to help them as much as I can but I sometimes feel like my spirit (for want of a better word) is being zapped. I try and have 'me-time' but I just feel guilty and I end up trying to organise my day around helping them. If I plan to go somewhere my first thought is will they be ok.
    I know this sounds ridiculous, but it's starting to consume my day.
    Has anybody ever felt like this? I wouldn't feel like this if I thought they were happy where they are.


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    #2
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Unregistered wrote: »
    Long story so I'll keep it short.
    When I was small my family lived in an estate and it was torture, we were name called and bullied and other things. My parents were close to splitting and my mother was suicidal.
    In the past few years, my parents have ended up living in another estate and they have no peace from morning to night.

    They have lived in two different estates and have had trouble in both.
    Why?
    What are you not telling us?
    Are they living in Knackersville or something?
    If I plan to go somewhere my first thought is will they be ok.

    They are adults. Adults who managed to bring up children. I think at this stage, they are quite capable of taking care of themselves, no?
    I wouldn't feel like this if I thought they were happy where they are.

    If they are not happy, can't they move?


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I know what you mean. I grew up in a one parent family in a rough area and I always felt guilty about the fact that I would one day leave the nest and leave my parent behind. My ma knew iwas woried about this but always told me that I had my own life to live and not to worry about her so much.

    While she still lives there I have learned to let go a little more.

    I'm just guessing from your post that your parents are living in a coucil house and they have already had to move once but they're older now and dont want to have to uproot from their home again becuse of some a-holes in the area.

    It's not selfish for you to want to have your own life as well.

    Is it possible for you to talk to your siblings and tell them how hard it's been on you and if it is at all possible for them to help out once in awhie?

    As hardas it is for you, you really need to set some time aside for yourself, sometime you just have to say "sorry but Im not available that day"


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