Wife not lovin!

Annonamus

Hi Ladies

I need you advice on something and please be aware that I am asking cause I care and not cause I am selfish. Even though it might seem I am selfish

My wife is in her first trimester of preg. She is very nervious to make love at the moment and I cannot understand why. She has gone off compleatly. This is a new experience to me

Is this common and does it last generally.

Dont get me wrong I love my wife dearly she is a fine looking curvy girl. I sometimes pass sly looks at her when she is dressing cause her body is lovely. But emotionally I am also with the best girl in the world. She knows me better than I know myself and although she tells me I make her feel safe cause I am so much taller than her, its infact her that makes me safe.

But lately I cannot understand why her mood to love has changed. Can you advise.

Thanks

Pyr0

I'd say the personal issues forum would be your best bet for this !

kaalgat

As said above, PI is probably the best place.

On a personal note, I've heard of lots of women being "uninterested" initially. I was one of those myself. It didn't last long for me personally, but I guess everyone is different.
How to explain what causes is, I have no idea. Probably someone with a medical background could tell you.
Only way I can explain it myself is that you just lose interest for a while. Nothing to do with the partner and not wanting or loving them anymore.

Jules

moved from tLL.

the glass woman

Op the first trimester is often the worst time for any pregnant woman, she is more than likely feeling ill, and suffering from a fatigue that no one in the world can understand unless they've been there. When i was pregnant i would come home from work and be in bed by 7, asleep by 8 every night. It does ease off though, and lots of pregnant women can't get enough of it from their second trimester on..

Lollipops23

she's probably feeling shíte; morning sickness may just be kicking in about now and tiredness will be too.she's probably very nervous too-the first trimester can be a scary time. she might settle down once she gets beyond the 12week mark, i've heard stories about the 4month mark being a very horny one!!!

all you can do is be there for her, ask about her fears and how her body is changing, reassure her that you find her sexy and beautiful.

beth-lou

Ahhhhh you are not alone Op.
I bet any man with a pregnant wife will tell you the same story in the first few months. I know it may be hard for you (no pun intended), but it is an exhausting time, her hormones are all over the place and she may be feeling sick most of the time.

The nicest thing you can do is just hug her, stroke her shoulder, tell her you love, tell her you watch her and all the lovely things about her that come to mind. This will make her feel so much better. And by the second trimester she should be getting a wave of hormones that will have quite the opposite effect.

Just be patient. She still loves you just as much, she just needs some emotional tlc and the rest will follow.

Annonamus

Thanks ladies I am doing all those thing you say I was just very worried you see mad programs about women who are pregnant splitting with their fella's. It crossed my mind. I honestly dont mind waiting 6 - 7 days only joking what ever it takes just wondered. If anybody else has been through this I would love to know how it has affected you. I spoke to a good friend about this and he turned around and said " Thats why we have only 2 kids" Meaning he was not will to go that long. Now I am sure that was only bravado but you get the picture!

Thanks again

Storm_rages

Hi OP,

i am 18 weeks, and i will just say for the first 3 and a half months i was too tired to even walk into the kitchen to get my dinner that my lovely husband had made for me.

I have never felt so tired (i'm sure it is different for everyone) but for me it was like when you have had a flu and you are starting to get better but your body is unable to do even the smallest things without leaving you wiped out.


It is starting to get better now, and i am starting to feel myself again and have a bit more spring in my step

LegacyUser

Hi Interesting thread, This happened to us as well. I dont agree with the women as my g/f was like this for 11 months. 9 months and 2 months. It nearly broke us up cause I had needs and she did not. She said she was afraid of hurting the baby which research say's is stupid.

Dont get me wrong I am not selfish either but we are young (29) and I dont fancy this going on forever.

All you can do is wait if she is as lovely as you say she should "come" around, aprdon the pun.

Redpunto

Her head is all over the place and the last think she probably wants is "lovin".

Her hormones are fluctuating which means all normal "urges" are altered - she may be scared of doing some "damage" to the baby which of course is not going to happen but the mind can go into hyperdrive.

Give her time - she may change through the pregnancy.

What she needs are plenty of hugs and cuddles.

Redpunto

Forgot to say that its not that she doesnt love you but shes going through the biggest life event that will ever happen to her so no "lovin" is probably not high on her list of priorities.

star-pants

I think most people have covered the reasons - if it's the first trimester she could be feeling very unwell, unsure what's going on in her body, feeling very tired. I think you said it's her first pregnancy, which means she's probably scared of doing something wrong and wants to be safe until she feels more in control.

She loves you and the pregnancy isn't changing that, you just need to be patient and supportive of her and ye can probably be intimate again in time. It is fairly normal, the body is going through a lot.

LegacyUser

just a bit of hope, i to was wreaked for the first 3mths
but after that i had a very high sex drive during the last 6mths i think it was the hormons playing up

but ex hubby didnt want any, was afraid he hurt the baby

LegacyUser

This happened to me from a womens perspective believe it or not I wanted sex but he did not. He thought it was wrong and it would hurt the baby. MEN!!!!! I spoke to my best friend and she told me she was the same as your wife. However she was like it for 6 months and the last 3 when she wanted it were very difficult. The only thing is she had a c-section so the urge never died after she had the baby and she found she wanted sex after the c section when she could not have it for medical reasons

So what I would say is give it a while till the second trimester but really if you love her that much your not going to leave her so whats to loose.

PS i am sorry I am in as a guest my fella uses this site.....