Mental block about weight loss

LegacyUser

(Mod - not sure if this is the right forum - please move if you see fit, thanks :-) )

Hi guys,

It's really not an issue by comparison to many of the other threads I've seen here, but it's something I can't seem to get past so would appreciate any feedback anyone has.

Basically I've been on a mission to lose about a stone to a stone and a half for God knows how long, and getting nowhere fast.

I've known for a good while this is a psychological thing - I've researched nutrition to death and can tell anyone anything about the mathematics surrounding weight loss, I work out in the gym about four times a week, but always...ALWAYS sabotage my efforts.

For a bit of background - I've never been majorly overweight and like most girls, I've always wanted to drop a few pounds, but didn't really bother me one way or the other. Then in college I had a few issues which manifested themselves through my weight, and had a borderline eating disorder which saw me lose about 30 pounds in less than three months and develop an exercise addiction.

Needless to say this was an extremely traumatic time for me, a hellish experience and I always think of it as a time when I 'lost' myself a little - became neurotic, cripplingly insecure, introverted, secretive, didn't care about anything but losing weight...and the reactions from everyone intensified these feelings. (When you're barely five foot and lose that amount of weight, when you weren't 'fat' to start off with, people STARE)

Anyway. Fast forward four years, and I'm back to my good old self thank God. After plenty of self analysis and psychotherapy and support, I have come through and recovered physically as well as mentally...or have I?

I'm by no means terribly overweight, but would like to shape up and drop a bit of weight to improve my confidence and generally feel better about myself. But like I mentioned, I keep failing. I'll diet for a bit, maybe drop half a stone, and then it's like PANIC kicks in and before I know it I'm eating all around me and the weight is back on. I've wondered about the possibility that this is a physiological reaction dating back to when I starved myself...self protective, maybe, but at this point it serves no purpose except to make me more and more miserable about my weight.

I've worked through the issues that sparked my eating disorder in the first place and am now mentally strong, independent and confident in all aspects of my life...except this.

I guess I'm wondering if anyone has dealt with these sort of issues, or has anyone successfully come through a mental barrier when it comes to weight loss?

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I appreciate it.

star-pants

Hi OP,

that's a tough journey to go through and I from reading what you're saying it sounds like your body does react to you trying to lose weight. If it's been starved before and caused mental and physical problems, your body will do anything to stop it happening again.
It might be worth a trip back to your psychotherapist/counsellor and having a talk through it. You need to be able to accept your body as it is I think, and you probably don't reallly need to lose those few lbs - but if you feel you'll be healthier for it, then you need to try and address your 'sabotage'. The only way is to talk it through with someone who knows their stuff.

Best of luck - you've been strong and gotten through worse before so I'm sure you'll be able to get to the bottom of this.