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My boyfriend did some crappy things..

  • 01-03-2009 8:56pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Recently started going out with a guy I've been friends with for a while. He was a great, caring friend and we ended up getting together, I knew he'd liked me for a long time. The problem is that as we were close friends, I ended up hearing a lot of stuff I'd rather not know. such as last year, he scored two married women. He admits that was a crappy thing to do and that he wouldn't do it again, especially not now he's so happy with me. Can leopards change their spots?


Comments

  • #2
    glezo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 95 ✭✭glezo


    worriedgf wrote: »
    Recently started going out with a guy I've been friends with for a while. He was a great, caring friend and we ended up getting together, I knew he'd liked me for a long time. The problem is that as we were close friends, I ended up hearing a lot of stuff I'd rather not know. such as last year, he scored two married women. He admits that was a crappy thing to do and that he wouldn't do it again, especially not now he's so happy with me. Can leopards change their spots?

    that was when he was single is was probley a thing to do with the lads behind him..
    yes a leopard can change his spots, that was the past now is the future and he has you to keep him happy


  • #3
    anonymous_joe
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,255 ✭✭✭anonymous_joe


    worriedgf wrote: »
    Recently started going out with a guy I've been friends with for a while. He was a great, caring friend and we ended up getting together, I knew he'd liked me for a long time. The problem is that as we were close friends, I ended up hearing a lot of stuff I'd rather not know. such as last year, he scored two married women. He admits that was a crappy thing to do and that he wouldn't do it again, especially not now he's so happy with me. Can leopards change their spots?

    Despite what you might think, a lot of guys can be quite loyal.

    Single and going out are very different.

    Oh and also, not that many guys would cheat on someone they really like. Most people I know who've cheated didn't care for their OH.


  • #4
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    Whilst I disagree with some people who feel that if they are the single one, they can be with whomever, as *they* are not cheating. Thus in his eyes he may feel he's done nothing wrong than kiss two women. He hasn't been cheating on girlfriends of his.
    He's also said it's something he wouldn't do again.

    We all do things that maybe we aren't overly proud of. But the point you need to think about is, he's with you now, noone else and everyone can't have their past held against them.


  • #5
    Salome
    Closed Accounts Posts: 570 ✭✭✭Salome


    I'd say the most responsibility should be on the married women, tbh. OP, that is the past, you say he's a caring man and has been into you for a while - just go with it. Don't think of his past - you probably scored people you would rather forget too.

    Live in the now, not the then.


  • #6
    Just Playing
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19 ✭Just Playing


    worriedgf wrote: »
    Recently started going out with a guy I've been friends with for a while. He was a great, caring friend and we ended up getting together, I knew he'd liked me for a long time. The problem is that as we were close friends, I ended up hearing a lot of stuff I'd rather not know. such as last year, he scored two married women. He admits that was a crappy thing to do and that he wouldn't do it again, especially not now he's so happy with me. Can leopards change their spots?

    Who knows. If people did we would not be asking :)


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Oh he DID cheat on girlfriends, but apparently it was a good while ago. He said he never cheated on his two serious girlfriends, with whom he's on good terms now.

    It's just hard for me to trust, as my last relationship ended with my bf of two years cheating on me :(


  • #8
    star-pants
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,429 ✭✭✭✭star-pants


    worriedgf wrote: »
    Oh he DID cheat on girlfriends,

    Oh ok, then I can understand your worry, I too have had bfs cheat on me and it sucks and it can make it hard to trust someone new even when you want to. Because your body's trying to protect itself by trying to make sure it doesn't happen again, which can make you a little jealous or worried about a new bf.

    The thing is - only you can trust him or not, we can advise of course but you're inthe situation, you know how he feels/how you feel. If you feel you can trust him, then do, and leave his past behind him. If you let this take over, you're going to never trust him and potentially ruin the relationship because of it.
    Innocent until proven guilty hun - it's hard to trust when you've been burnt I know - but everyone's different and they can be different with each person they're with.


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