Boyfriend gone on lads w/e to amsterdam

sunnyside out

hi all,

my bf has gone on a lads w/e to amsterdam this would be their 3 one since i met him..
i trust him totally, and he tells me no need to worry bout him getting up to anything as he says in his own words( why would i part with 50euro when i can have as much as i want when i get home)
they do go to the sex shows which i dont mind about, and this time round his friends has him held to doing a part in one of the shows,
as is all of the lads

he told me everything and even last nite when he rang he told me all about it, the show he took part in was not anyways crude..

he rings every nite before going to bed to let me know wat time hes in at

reason im asking is...
does anyone else find all this to be a bit too weird for me not to feel anyways weary bout this

thanks all

Mmmm_Lemony

Its a natural reaction to feel this way, but, its down to each individual whether they stray or not.

I've been to amsterdam a good few times, and saw the sights and sex shows etc... but never 'paid for it', and have been there lots of times while single and never been into that kind of thing, so if you trust him and don't think he's the type then trust him and believe he's not the type...

LegacyUser

Hi there, nope not at all, Why should you have any bad feeling about this. Your obviously in a happy loving relationship and should be looking forward to him coming home.

Dudess

sunnyside out wrote: »

my bf has gone on a lads w/e to amsterdam this would be their 3 one since i met him..
i trust him totally, and he tells me no need to worry bout him getting up to anything as he says in his own words( why would i part with 50euro when i can have as much as i want when i get home)
they do go to the sex shows which i dont mind about, and this time round his friends has him held to doing a part in one of the shows,
as is all of the lads

he told me everything and even last nite when he rang he told me all about it, the show he took part in was not anyways crude..

he rings every nite before going to bed to let me know wat time hes in at

reason im asking is...
does anyone else find all this to be a bit too weird for me not to feel anyways weary bout this

What's weird is the fact that you're asking others whether it's weird that you're not wary. It reminds me of another thread doing the rounds here at the moment where the girl seems to want to be jealous of her boyfriend because it's "weird" not to be.

You're looking for assurances that it's not weird of you to not be suspicious/jealous of your boyfriend - even though he is saying and doing as much as he can to allay your fears.

Utterly bizarre.

Mmmm_Lemony

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi there, nope not at all, Why should you have any bad feeling about this. Your obviously in a happy loving relationship and should be looking forward to him coming home.

I presume the reason why she is worried is that he is going to Amsterdam, the sex capital of europe (excluding cork obviously). It is perfectly normal to feel uneasy about it, but that doesn't mean he will do anything unfaithful, if she trusts him and he loves her he won't.

star-pants

Hey OP - it isn't weird if ye trust each other and care alot about each other. A guy said to me before that he didn't understand why you'd pay for sex etc, when you could have much better off your gf.
He's obviously just keeping you up to date with what they're getting up to and being honest about everything rather than hide something that isn't bad and then it being made seem bad cuz it's hidden.

Dudess

Mmmm_Lemony wrote: »

I presume the reason why she is worried is that he is going to Amsterdam, the sex capital of europe (excluding cork obviously). It is perfectly normal to feel uneasy about it, but that doesn't mean he will do anything unfaithful, if she trusts him and he loves her he won't.

No, she's wondering whether it's weird that she isn't more wary of it.

Mmmm_Lemony

She's worried that shes not worried, and I pointed out, that its normal to be worried but if they love and trust each other ... hey, thats ok

sunnyside out

Mmmm_Lemony wrote: »

I presume the reason why she is worried is that he is going to Amsterdam, the sex capital of europe (excluding cork obviously). It is perfectly normal to feel uneasy about it, but that doesn't mean he will do anything unfaithful, if she trusts him and he loves her he won't.

been honest mmmmmmmm:D lemony, im not one bit worried about him going its the fact that im not worried and thats why im wondering is it weird for me to think that

of course their might have been a niggle at the start thinking well full of beer and with the lads but been totally honest i think that lasted for a whole of 30 seconds
reason been cause i love him so much and i know he feels the same for me
and as one of the others said about him coming home..
well say no more, before he left we had it organized for me to go into his house on the nite he comes home (mon) for a bit of you know wat..

Dudess

But why are you worried that this could be weird? Isn't it better than feeling jealous and like you can't trust him?

I mean, wouldn't it freak you out if someone posted here "Yes, it's weird. You should expect the worst - that's more healthy/normal"...?

MadgeBadge

OP you have a serious case of......considerate boyfriend. He's ace!

sunnyside out

Dudess wrote: »

But why are you worried that this could be weird? Isn't it better than feeling jealous and like you can't trust him?

I mean, wouldn't it freak you out if someone posted here "Yes, it's weird. You should expect the worst - that's more healthy/normal"...?

been honest i was half thinking of not posting this thread in case i got negative feedback that i didnt want to hear,
but i know everyone is the same..

oh ya its totally better than been jealous, because i was so jealous with my ex husband that i was horrible

reason i was wondering was it weird, is that for the reason that he was going to the sex capital of the world with his mates and i wasnt worried about it
just wondering did anyone ever feel the same with here other half

sunnyside out

MadgeBadge wrote: »

OP you have a serious case of......considerate boyfriend. He's ace!

of...........considerate boyfriend
wats ment to be in ............... area :rolleyes:

and ya your right hes one of a kind

Agent Smith

Interesting thing about amsterdam is that, all the sordid seedy things are generally in one or 2 areas. Amsterdam does have an Interesting History. Not everyone that goes there ends up in drug fueled Orgys with hookers.

He Summed it up perfectly tbh, Why pay for what he can get for free?

star-pants

sunnyside out wrote: »

reason i was wondering was it weird, is that for the reason that he was going to the sex capital of the world with his mates and i wasnt worried about it
just wondering did anyone ever feel the same with here other half

If you trust him and ye have a good relationship then it's not weird at all to not worry about him going over there. A bf of mine was planning to go with a bunch of lads (one of whom would be rather interested in teh RedLightDistrict) and even without his reassurance nothing would happen, I trusted him anyway. I didn't need to worry about him when out and about because we both cared for each other and trusted each other.

MadgeBadge

sunnyside out wrote: »

of...........considerate boyfriend
wats ment to be in ............... area :rolleyes:

It was meant to be suspense, you can add a drum-roll if you like

sunnyside out

Agent Smith wrote: »

Interesting thing about amsterdam is that, all the sordid seedy things are generally in one or 2 areas. Amsterdam does have an Interesting History. Not everyone that goes there ends up in drug fueled Orgys with hookers.

He Summed it up perfectly tbh, Why pay for what he can get for free?

your right agent smith, its ment to be a beautiful place they actually went to anne franks house today ???
and their staying in the posh area in a 4* hotel (treated themselves)
saying that now he rang me bout 10 min ago, while walking through the red light area, and was getting a bit freaked out a load of lads were walking toward him all dressed in leather incl..the hats and all :eek:

sunnyside out

MadgeBadge wrote: »

It was meant to be suspense, you can add a drum-roll if you like

get ya now madge:)

cheers,

sardineta

I'd only be worried that he KNOWS it's €50 for a ride.

MagicMarker

Congratulations, you trust your boyfriend, from reading boards you may not realise, but this is normal.

Zaph

sardineta wrote: »

I'd only be worried that he KNOWS it's €50 for a ride.

sardineta, this forum has rules regarding unhelpful posts. I suggest you familiarise yourself with them by reading the charter before you post again.

carlowguy32

sardineta wrote: »

I'd only be worried that he KNOWS it's €50 for a ride.

ok 3rd time on a 'lads weekend' to amsterdam, why are you going there for your 3rd time, you can only do the sights once, i dont want to alarm you but why is he going there so often?? why is he ringing every night, is he feeling guilty? i was there once on a lads weekend, some lads indulged in the activities and others didnt so its kinda 50/50 if he is, the thing that it is his 3rd time would be raising questions in my head like it is in urs

star-pants

carlowguy32 wrote: »

ok 3rd time on a 'lads weekend' to amsterdam, why are you going there for your 3rd time, you can only do the sights once, i dont want to alarm you but why is he going there so often?? why is he ringing every night, is he feeling guilty? i was there once on a lads weekend, some lads indulged in the activities and others didnt so its kinda 50/50 if he is, the thing that it is his 3rd time would be raising questions in my head like it is in urs

Valid point - but there's more than just the redlight stuff and sights in Amsterdam - it could be the atmosphere and the.... aroma let's say. It's probably not too dear when there's deals on, lads have a good time drinking/smoking and they know the area.

sunnyside out

carlowguy32 wrote: »

ok 3rd time on a 'lads weekend' to amsterdam, why are you going there for your 3rd time, you can only do the sights once, i dont want to alarm you but why is he going there so often?? why is he ringing every night, is he feeling guilty? i was there once on a lads weekend, some lads indulged in the activities and others didnt so its kinda 50/50 if he is, the thing that it is his 3rd time would be raising questions in my head like it is in urs

`
reason thats he goes so much is that one of his mates books the hoildays and gets as many to goes just lets say this lad who books it enjoys his videos and likes adding to his collection...

he was plagued alot before he gave in each time, as as someone said its a cheap hoilday and a chance for a piss up

reason he rings at nite is on a normal week 7days he rings me every nite to say gud nite and that he loves me just before he goes to bed..

but saying that he went on a lads hoilday last year to caneries and a weekend to some german city
also before i met him he was so used to his hoildays why should i step in the way now and stop him when i trust him

sunnyside out

sardineta wrote: »

I'd only be worried that he KNOWS it's €50 for a ride.

reason he knows this is because as i said his friend thats also into his videos is also into the window shows(so to speak)

plus anyone that goes to amersterdam who know how much it be by word of mouth in the pubs

even where i live i know how much the prostutes(sorry for spelling) are charging for each thing
and im a woman, who hardly who be going to these ones

CDfm

i'd say trust him -then i would being a guy.:)

i have my nights out with my friends and its something my g/f insisted on when we first got together. its great for life balance stuff and originally i thought it a bit girlie to have it as part of what i do but now have friend nights built in. i dont need to give an account of my time or where ive been.

you also seem to have the trust thing well handled but the balance thing and his own time with his mates are equally important.

starchild

there is nothing wrong wth trusting him

many men go to amsterdam & look but dont touch

That_Guy

sunnyside out wrote: »

hi all,

my bf has gone on a lads w/e to amsterdam this would be their 3 one since i met him..
i trust him totally, and he tells me no need to worry bout him getting up to anything as he says in his own words( why would i part with 50euro when i can have as much as i want when i get home)
they do go to the sex shows which i dont mind about, and this time round his friends has him held to doing a part in one of the shows,
as is all of the lads

he told me everything and even last nite when he rang he told me all about it, the show he took part in was not anyways crude..

he rings every nite before going to bed to let me know wat time hes in at

reason im asking is...
does anyone else find all this to be a bit too weird for me not to feel anyways weary bout this

thanks all

It's always the initial reaction to be worried or feel anxious when girlfriends or boyfriends go away for a weekend or whatever. It's only natural.

I know Amsterdam is labelled as being sex and drugs mad but to be honest I don't think you have anything to worry about here at all.

Your boyfriend seems to care a lot for you and seems to be extremely honest. He even rings you every night and tells you everything. Normally when lads go off together they completely forget about girlfriends and don't contact them.

Wouldn't be worrying too much about it. The weekend will fly by in no time.

consultech

sunnyside out wrote: »

as he says in his own words( why would i part with 50euro when i can have as much as i want when i get home)

Romance isn't dead after all.

Ah... Simple cost-benefit analysis; Do you really need anything else when faced with the dilemma of misogyny?

sunnyside out

i was so weary of posting this thread, cause i was waiting for all the negative relplys :rolleyes:

but im so delighted with all the replys it has put things into place what ive been thinking and knowing all along just wanted someone else to tell me and thanks to ye all a whole load of ye confirmined what i was thinking

ya so can wait til 2moro when hes home,
waiting now till 11 when he rings( the usual time every day also)

THANK YOU ALL

That_Guy

sunnyside out wrote: »

i was so weary of posting this thread, cause i was waiting for all the negative relplys :rolleyes:

but im so delighted with all the replys it has put things into place what ive been thinking and knowing all along just wanted someone else to tell me and thanks to ye all a whole load of ye confirmined what i was thinking

ya so can wait til 2moro when hes home,
waiting now till 11 when he rings( the usual time every day also)

THANK YOU ALL

You're very welcome.

LegacyUser

my bf has been to amsterdam on lads weekends too (ones he organised). and iv never been worried either. He used to call too and tell me all about it and what everyone was getting up to. I completely agree that some guys just arent into `that` scene. Lots of his single friends included.

The way I see it, if someone is inclined to cheat then they can do it at any time, any holdiay, on any random weekend, even in the same bar as you. So if you trust him then where he is or what situation hes in should make no difference.

It did make me a little insecure the first time he went, i was a little scared that something might happen, but I knew I had no control over what he did there so worrying was pointless. If anything I trust him more now. I wouldnt be worried at all. Im glad Im not the only one!!!

muboop1

carlowguy32 wrote: »

ok 3rd time on a 'lads weekend' to amsterdam, why are you going there for your 3rd time, you can only do the sights once, i dont want to alarm you but why is he going there so often?? why is he ringing every night, is he feeling guilty? i was there once on a lads weekend, some lads indulged in the activities and others didnt so its kinda 50/50 if he is, the thing that it is his 3rd time would be raising questions in my head like it is in urs

I have a gf, and went on lads trip there recently.
It was a good laugh!
I wudnt be to pushed to go again soon, but can see why you would!
alot in my group like to smoke, so they loved it there!
And it was great fun!

its like going on any pissup weekend realy accept you have a very good hangover cure :pac:

I wudnt worry, i went with like 10 lads, most single, not one of us touched a prostitute. Most guys i know would have a very big problem with sleeping with prostitutes! Especially the taken ones!

glezo

muboop1 wrote: »

I have a gf, and went on lads trip there recently.
It was a good laugh!
I wudnt be to pushed to go again soon, but can see why you would!
alot in my group like to smoke, so they loved it there!
And it was great fun!

its like going on any pissup weekend realy accept you have a very good hangover cure :pac:

I wudnt worry, i went with like 10 lads, most single, not one of us touched a prostitute. Most guys i know would have a very big problem with sleeping with prostitutes! Especially the taken ones!

i think it must be the fact of getting away from the local pub and ireland for that matter and when the flights are so cheap why not go for it.

glezo

Unregistered wrote: »

my bf has been to amsterdam on lads weekends too (ones he organised). and iv never been worried either. He used to call too and tell me all about it and what everyone was getting up to. I completely agree that some guys just arent into `that` scene. Lots of his single friends included.

The way I see it, if someone is inclined to cheat then they can do it at any time, any holdiay, on any random weekend, even in the same bar as you. So if you trust him then where he is or what situation hes in should make no difference.

It did make me a little insecure the first time he went, i was a little scared that something might happen, but I knew I had no control over what he did there so worrying was pointless. If anything I trust him more now. I wouldnt be worried at all. Im glad Im not the only one!!!

its gud that at least the both of us knows what were talking about with our b/f's going on lads w/e away..
we both go through it but its the excitement of when they come home that i look forward too
im also glad im not the only one thinking this, and im sure their hundreds of other girls in ireland like us..