How to ask..

LegacyUser

I noticed this stunning girl in work the other day and wanted to get to know her. I caught her staring at me a few times (and me staring a few times too) and smiling at each other.
I never noticed her before because we work different shifts.

I was working with her again today as she was covering someone and we got talking for a few minutes and she seems really sound.

I was wondering how would I go about asking her out sometime? We're both young working part-time if that's any help. I got up the courage tonight to ask her did she want to go for a drink sometime but by the time I did she was gone home. I don't know if I'll see her again (hadn't seen her since last year before this week). How would I get to give her my number or get hers?

Thanks

Wibbs

OK really simple answer and likely the only one that will work. Go up and aske her out for a drink or a coffee at lunch. She'll say yes or she'll say no. She's more likely to say yes if she sees you're confident asking her out. It really is as simple as that.

Giblet

I agree, you can either waste time not asking her out, or do and knowing exactly what's going on.

Epicpriest

if she's stunning, i guarentee she has a boyfriend. they all do

bubblewrap

I'm stunning and I was single when my man asked me out at work! :pac:

If she isn't there, leave your number with a colleague.

TheDollyParton

Epicpriest wrote: »

if she's stunning, i guarentee she has a boyfriend. they all do

That's just not true. Don't let that deter you - if she has a boyfriend she'll tell you and there'll be no harm done.

pwd

Better to approach her in person. Leaving a number is impersonal. She might not call/text because she doesn't know how to initiate contact like that or is shy about doing so or because she thinks guys should do the approaching or anything else. If she doesn't call/text you won't be able to tell if she didn't because of something like this, or because she didn't get your number, or because she just isn't interested or available.
Better to approach her in person. She's more likely to respond positively, and you'll be able to see her reaction and have a better idea of how you stand.

pwd

TheDollyParton wrote: »

That's just not true. Don't let that deter you - if she has a boyfriend she'll tell you and there'll be no harm done.

if she has a bf she's a tease or a slapper

cantdecide

Just ask her. She can't shoot you down in flames at work. That's what clubs are for:D

tantipie

pwd wrote: »

if she has a bf she's a tease or a slapper

where did you get that from,,they've only chatted and caught each others eye!!

pwd

"I caught her staring at me a few times (and me staring a few times too) and smiling at each other."
--She's acting like she's interested in the OP, who is acting like he's interested in her. If you think that's innocent behaviour for someone in a relationship, then you should be asking yoursef a few questions imo.

bubblewrap

She is single now though, but I do think it isn't wise to get involved with someone who has just come out of a long term relationship.

Think about this. What have you got to lose? Nothing. You're not going out with her now, and if she says no, you're not going out with her then, so what changed? Nothing. SO again, what have you got to lose?

If you don't ask then you'll never know, if you do ask you either:

A) She says "no" and you LOSE NOTHING. Life goes on. Or

She says "yes", you go on a date, and time will tell what you gained.

It's really easy, "I was just wondering if you fancy going for a drink after work sometime". Get her number, choose a place (and be decisive, you choose it. DO NOT start into that whole "oh I don't mind I'm easy" because she will respond in kind waiting for you to make the call so just make the call from the get go, that will impress her more anyway IMO)

TheDollyParton

pwd wrote: »

"I caught her staring at me a few times (and me staring a few times too) and smiling at each other."
--She's acting like she's interested in the OP, who is acting like he's interested in her. If you think that's innocent behaviour for someone in a relationship, then you should be asking yoursef a few questions imo.

That's an interesting perspective, to be honest I think it says more about you than anyone else. Girls aren't allowed to smile or make eye contact? For real?

tantipie

didnt realise pwd that looking and smiling was cheating,, must tell my husband we shouldnt be friendly with people,,just in case they get the wrong idea!!

MissHoneyBun

nervous lad wrote: »

I caught her staring at me a few times (and me staring a few times too) and smiling at each other.

TheDollyParton and tantipie -where exactly did you see pwd say that girls in general shoudn't "make eye contact or smile" at "people" or that it's "cheating"? Oh right, he didn't. I think it might suggest a few things about yourselves also, seeing as ye're both so ready to pounce and make unfounded allegations. Nice.

Also I think most adults with an ounce of cop on can differentiate between somebody glancing arbitrarily and this:

nervous lad wrote: »

...staring ...and smiling at each other.

which is clearly a bit different!

Unless you two go around staring at people and smiling at them for no reason?!? In which case, God help us all.

t-ha

pwd wrote: »

if she has a bf she's a tease or a slapper

hopefully a slapper.

There is the chance that she has a bf, but not in the same area-code, in which case she's a curtain or a fire-breather.

Onto more serious matters, I'd be down with the goin' for coffee with her during work sometime & asking her out then rather than dragging it out in your head.

Oh, and if you guys do wind up seeing each other, keep an eye out to make sure she never looks or smiles at any other guys. If she does you'll have to hand her over to pwd for some Ike Turner treatment.

TheDollyParton

I think you're being a little melodramatic MissHoneyBun, no one has made any "allegations" and I certainly don't believe I have pounced. What I have a problem with is the suggestion that you deem someone a slapper or a slut for staring and smiling. Those are pretty strong words to use, and frankly I don't think any amount of staring or smiling makes it fair to label someone a slapper or a slut.

Also I think the world would be a nicer place if people did go around smiling more.

Poloman

You obviously arent 14 as you are working so getting a mate to ask her is out of the question.

"So, fancy going for a few drinks friday when we get paid?" usually does the trick.

PeakOutput

ask her too her face is obviously preferable but if it looks like she is going to be on opposite shifts to you for the foreseeable future either try and cover someone on the same shift as her or send her an email a short one to the point making it clear who you are

just go for it being told no isnt as bad as it seems especially if you can avoid her easily afterwards

MissHoneyBun

TheDollyParton wrote: »

I think you're being a little melodramatic MissHoneyBun, no one has made any "allegations" and I certainly don't believe I have pounced.

I couldn't give two hoots what you think to be honest. If you can't differentiate between a platonic exchange and two people flirting then that's your problem. The girl was clearly flirting with the guy. Enough for him to consider asking her out. Now if the girl does happen to be in a relationship, why is she checking out the OP? It's genuinely something that the guy might want to consider.

Believe it or not, not everyone is thrilled at the prospect of their partner checking out other people. The Cheryl Cole's of this world might have given cheating the green light but most people command more respect than that.

TheDollyParton

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

I couldn't give two hoots what you think to be honest. If you can't differentiate between a platonic exchange and two people flirting then that's your problem. The girl was clearly flirting with the guy. Enough for him to consider asking her out. Now if the girl does happen to be in a relationship, why is she checking out the OP? It's genuinely something that the guy might want to consider.

Believe it or not, not everyone is thrilled at the prospect of their partner checking out other people. The Cheryl Cole's of this world might have given cheating the green light but most people command more respect than that.

Wow.

Even if she IS flirting (which I think is a bit of a leap based on what's been said to be honest, but then you don't care what I think...) I don't think that makes someone a slapper or a slut either. I think that as women we need to be very careful about the way that people use those words.

Anywho, I don't want to hijack the OP's thread and frankly I don't know that there's much of a point in engaging with you at the moment so I'm going to leave it there.

PeakOutput

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

I couldn't give two hoots what you think to be honest. If you can't differentiate between a platonic exchange and two people flirting then that's your problem. The girl was clearly flirting with the guy. Enough for him to consider asking her out. Now if the girl does happen to be in a relationship, why is she checking out the OP? It's genuinely something that the guy might want to consider.

Believe it or not, not everyone is thrilled at the prospect of their partner checking out other people. The Cheryl Cole's of this world might have given cheating the green light but most people command more respect than that.

your definitely overreacting here.

first of all plenty of women smile at me everyday am i to assume that everyone wants to jump my bones and this is their way of initiating it? i wish.

secondly the op thinks the girl is 'stunning' if he is anything like me he would have considered asking her out regardless of weather he got a second glance off her or not.

thirdly if the girl is in a relationship and she smiled and had a quick chat with him who the hell cares? he got the wrong end of the stick end of story....obviously if he sees her again and the 'flirting' gets more intense then she might be a cheater in the making but there is no reason at all to think that from the op

finally you have some insecurity issues if you have such a big problem with your man looking at other beautifull women. looking at someone and cheating are hemispheres apart and your the one with the problem if you think otherwise

op go for it even if she says no its one more thing that you can say i wanted it i tried i can move on instead of thinking 'what if' for however long

kaa

i think you should go for it.

i agree with wibbs with the asking her out at lunch time. be confident and do some small chat and ask her out. sure you got nothing the lose really. no point being at work in a place reminding you of her and wondering what if. that will just wreck your head.

GOOD LUCK

MissHoneyBun

PeakOutput wrote: »

finally you have some insecurity issues if you have such a big problem with your man looking at other beautifull women. looking at someone and cheating are hemispheres apart and your the one with the problem if you think otherwise

The imaginations of some posters are fascinating.

PeakOutput

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

The imaginations of some posters are fascinating.

while i do have an active imagination there is little need for it when you say

Believe it or not, not everyone is thrilled at the prospect of their partner checking out other people.

whilst implying that this is somehow related/comparable to cheating


way way offtopic anyway sorry op

cherrypicker555

nervous lad wrote: »

I noticed this stunning girl in work the other day and wanted to get to know her. I caught her staring at me a few times (and me staring a few times too) and smiling at each other.
I never noticed her before because we work different shifts.

I was working with her again today as she was covering someone and we got talking for a few minutes and she seems really sound.

I was wondering how would I go about asking her out sometime? We're both young working part-time if that's any help. I got up the courage tonight to ask her did she want to go for a drink sometime but by the time I did she was gone home. I don't know if I'll see her again (hadn't seen her since last year before this week). How would I get to give her my number or get hers?

Thanks

Dont worry about if she has a boyfriend, go to a forum called pick up artist, they have semiars on the site on how to pick up women using various techniques and how to play it.

I was sceptical at first but I saw a tv programme, where they took three dorks, trained them for 3 days and obviously changed their image, they then sent them out on the street using the techniques, all got numerous numbers from numerous stunning girls.



Smile at her , but dont over do it, make eye contact, try to hold it, talk to her ask her how her weeked went, say to her how does your boyfriend put up with you and smile,see the reaction,make her laugh build the repour, get her thinking. Thats how I would approach it.

If she ever says she has a boyfriend say, "I'm sorry, you must have thought that I was hitting on you. I was actually just being nice and smile..." say you just wanted to ask for for a drink, bring up work issues as a cover. Bring up issues tell her its stressing you out etc, get her sympathy/empathy.

Find common points you both agree on, make her feel she can really relate to you and that you really listern and empathise, dont over do the flirt bit, if you go for a drink, but if she loosens up, up the ante.

If responds in a flirty way and theres good eye contact, say say stuff like your boyfriend obviously doesnt spank you enough, if you can get away with it your 70% there a few more drinks, laughter and empthy.. your there.............happy hunting


This may help, its on seduction concepts, the inner game, outer game, how to open/close, interact with the target etc.


http://www.seductiontuition.com/seduction-concepts.html


Body Language And Flirting

Body Language and Flirting discusses the ways in which we present ourselves in an attractive manner. You may have a great identity yet the way you present yourself could be detrimental to picking up and seducing women.
Approaching

Approaching deals with the initial stage of the pick up. Learn when and how you should approach women.
Building Attraction

Building Attraction discusses the concepts and techniques in getting women to become attracted to you. This is especially important in the initial stages of picking up and seducing women.
Building Comfort

Building Comfort discusses the concepts and techniques in getting women to become comfortable in your presence. After building attraction we have to build a connection that solidifies our interaction with the target.
Escalation

Escalation discusses the concepts and techniques on how to escalate in our interaction with women that sets the foundation for the close.
Closing

Closing discusses the concepts required to achieve our goals. This can range from getting her phone number, setting up a date, or even getting laid.

cherrypicker555

Alternatively if shes a neg heres a good way to approach it, especially good advice in dealing with women with a bitch shield.

Show your dominance by negging her psychologically, speak to her like shes your kid sister, subtly put her down in a jokey way, bitches respond much better to negging, avoid compliments. I learned this the hard way.


http://www.seductiontuition.com/mystery/neg-theory.html

PeakOutput

i dont think refering people to pua's at every mention of relationship / pulling advice is the right thing to do maybe give him a few quick and easy techniques but its not helpfull to send him off to another site were he is going to be overwhelmed with differing opinions on how he should change himself he probably dosnt need to be changed at all most people dont but just needs one or two people to reassure him that doing it face to face or by email or whatever is the right thing to do

cherrypicker555

PeakOutput wrote: »

i dont think refering people to pua's at every mention of relationship / pulling advice is the right thing to do maybe give him a few quick and easy techniques but its not helpfull to send him off to another site were he is going to be overwhelmed with differing opinions on how he should change himself he probably dosnt need to be changed at all most people dont but just needs one or two people to reassure him that doing it face to face or by email or whatever is the right thing to do

Im no expert, but its a fact there are tried and tested methods as to the best approach to gaining what he seeks and he did ask the best way to ask the girl out.

Hence my post, and link to a site which specialises on the techniques of pulling women. Dont see how that will confuse him or change him.

tantipie

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

TheDollyParton and tantipie -where exactly did you see pwd say that girls in general shoudn't "make eye contact or smile" at "people" or that it's "cheating"? Oh right, he didn't. I think it might suggest a few things about yourselves also, seeing as ye're both so ready to pounce and make unfounded allegations. Nice.

Also I think most adults with an ounce of cop on can differentiate between somebody glancing arbitrarily and this:

which is clearly a bit different!

Unless you two go around staring at people and smiling at them for no reason?!? In which case, God help us all.

hmmm unfounded allegations,,the girl was called a slapper for no reason,,
and maybe if he wants her so much he could be making something out of nothing eh??not getting into a debate with you,,doesn't say anything about me by the way,,nothing wrong with being friendly,,

PeakOutput

cherrypicker555 wrote: »

Im no expert, but its a fact there are tried and tested methods as to the best approach to gaining what he seeks and he did ask the best way to ask the girl out.

Hence my post, and link to a site which specialises on the techniques of pulling women. Dont see how that will confuse him or change him.

iv read the books and the websites im just saying he asked a simple questions that requries a simple answer

much of the pua info is about changing the entire way you interact with women sure it works but only after quite a bit of reading and practice

the ops best approach is to strike up another conversation or even just say 'hey, its payday this friday you fancy grabbing a drink'

cherrypicker555

PeakOutput wrote: »

iv read the books and the websites im just saying he asked a simple questions that requries a simple answer

much of the pua info is about changing the entire way you interact with women sure it works but only after quite a bit of reading and practice

the ops best approach is to strike up another conversation or even just say 'hey, its payday this friday you fancy grabbing a drink'

And she says, sorry Im meeting my boyfriend, what should he say ?

tbh

OP, here's how I'd play it. I'd just go up to her, and with my most cheeky, "I know I'm chancing my arm here" expression and tone, say "hey, I don't suppose you'd like to go for a drink, would you?". If she likes you she'll laugh and say yes, if she doesn't or she's attached she'll laugh and say sorry, I've a boyfriend. And if she does, all you have to do is say "ah well, worth a shot", smile, and head off.

I know you're nervous about doing this, but I want you to go for it. It'll be character building, and even if she says no, the next time won't be as scary.

If she's looking and smiling, she definitely doesn't NOT like you, right? We're not sure if she likes you likes you, but we know she probably doesn't think you're a jerk. So if you ask her out, but don't make a big deal out of asking her out, she'll probably be flattered either way. She's not going to think you're an asshole for asking her out, unless you make her feel awkward in the asking. and the best way to make sure you don't do that is to keep it light-hearted. Good luck little dude! let us know what happens.

Seoid

Next time you see her just strike up a conversation with her - nice and friendly (comments about work, weather, how nice her hair is - whatever). If you get on then just be direct! Ask her if she'd like to go for drinks after work, or lunch or dinner some other day....

I know it might be embarrassing if she says no or if she does have a boyfriend but it's better than not knowing and she'll be flattered and pleased to have been asked. If she's single she'll probably say yes because she obviously doesn't find you hideous so why not? If you don't have any more shifts with her then maybe you could arrive early or stay late or call by another time when she's there....

It worked for my man 6 years ago (part time bar job while we were both in college) and we're engaged now! I still remember how shy he was....

Let us know how you get on!

LegacyUser

OP, if you think making advances to a stranger in a work environment based on some smiles and a few glances isn't OTT, then go for it. Sometimes a look or a smile is just being reciprocated as we are generally drawn into looking at "stunning" people, and sometimes a look and a smile is just saying "I can't believe this guy is hawking me out of it again" or "I can't believe he's wearing that jumper, again", or "blah blah blah". We're allowed look at one another without it meaning more. It's only my personal opinion, but I believe that in a non-social environment people are entitled to their personal space, and just because she is stunning and looks at you doesn't mean she wants to be hit on. You know nothing of your compatibility, so why not just go to a club or somewhere where people are more susceptible to being pulled and pick a random stunner?

Wibbs

cherrypicker555 wrote: »

Alternatively if shes a neg heres a good way to approach it, especially good advice in dealing with women with a bitch shield.

Show your dominance by negging her psychologically, speak to her like shes your kid sister, subtly put her down in a jokey way, bitches respond much better to negging, avoid compliments. I learned this the hard way.

I would have thought avoiding bitches was the best policy, but maybe that's me. Life is too damn short to play around. What I find works is just straight up go over, engage her in conversation, if she bites then continue. If she doesn't be polite and walk away. Saves effort. If someone wants to hang around me with a possibility of more well that's cool. If they don't, no big deal. It's their choice, like it would be my choice if I felt the same if a woman approached me. Doesn't reflect on me as a person.

I would say OP, dont build her up to be something she's not, before she backs that up with reality and interest. That will put her off. Rightfully too and its what too many blokes do, so she'll be well used to it if she's even vaguely pretty. Don't get caught up on pretty either. It's not the be all and end all and you can meet pretty women all over the place. She has to bring more to the equation, in personality and interest in you.

As for a possible boyfriend? An obviously attractive woman is going to have her fair share of blokes sniffing around. Doesn't mean she's hooked up with one though. Actually if she's really pretty, she may even be more likely to be single. Even if she is, she's not married to the guy. If she has interest in you and wants to pursue that well then that's her choice. If her relationship was on the up and up you wouldn't stand a chance, so if you have a chance.... I would caution going after her until she leaves any boyfriend she may have though and make this clear to her if it comes up. Beyond the fact that's its a shabby thing to do, if she does that to him, she'll likely do that to you down the line.

PeakOutput

cherrypicker555 wrote: »

And she says, sorry Im meeting my boyfriend, what should he say ?

'ah right no worries have a good night might see ya out on the town'

or something along those lines

now if the question was i asked a girl out but she has a boyfriend what can i do and he wasnt looking for the answer of move on then id say go read up on puas and some of them like to say they know how to pull any girl who has a bf maybe they can help you....but it wasnt so its irrelevant.

i like the idea of pua thing in certain circumstances for certain people i just dnt think its the right advice in this case thats all its nothing personal

cherrypicker555

PeakOutput wrote: »

'ah right no worries have a good night might see ya out on the town'

or something along those lines

now if the question was i asked a girl out but she has a boyfriend what can i do and he wasnt looking for the answer of move on then id say go read up on puas and some of them like to say they know how to pull any girl who has a bf maybe they can help you....but it wasnt so its irrelevant.

i like the idea of pua thing in certain circumstances for certain people i just dnt think its the right advice in this case thats all its nothing personal

So she gives him the come on then says no thanks, and you awlk away with your tale between your legs, not very Alpha male is it.

cherrypicker555

Wibbs wrote: »

I would have thought avoiding bitches was the best policy, but maybe that's me. Life is too damn short to play around. What I find works is just straight up go over, engage her in conversation, if she bites then continue. If she doesn't be polite and walk away. Saves effort. If someone wants to hang around me with a possibility of more well that's cool. If they don't, no big deal. It's their choice, like it would be my choice if I felt the same if a woman approached me. Doesn't reflect on me as a person.

I would say OP, dont build her up to be something she's not, before she backs that up with reality and interest. That will put her off. Rightfully too and its what too many blokes do, so she'll be well used to it if she's even vaguely pretty. Don't get caught up on pretty either. It's not the be all and end all and you can meet pretty women all over the place. She has to bring more to the equation, in personality and interest in you.

As for a possible boyfriend? An obviously attractive woman is going to have her fair share of blokes sniffing around. Doesn't mean she's hooked up with one though. Actually if she's really pretty, she may even be more likely to be single. Even if she is, she's not married to the guy. If she has interest in you and wants to pursue that well then that's her choice. If her relationship was on the up and up you wouldn't stand a chance, so if you have a chance.... I would caution going after her until she leaves any boyfriend she may have though and make this clear to her if it comes up. Beyond the fact that's its a shabby thing to do, if she does that to him, she'll likely do that to you down the line.

Neg women ie those with their bitch guard up have usually been treated v badly by guys, often they are v attaractive, they also gets lots of guys coming on to them whom they treat with contempt.

Yet if you can get beyond the bitchguard they are loyal, because they are not easy.

Neg critisism, hot/cold and going disdent is the best approach with them.
Most have father complexes, in the bedroom they are submissive, treat them with contempt( ie get them to buy you 200 euro shirts, pay to repair your car etc), and they will love you, for that is what they are comfortable with, they need to care,they need to believe your sob stories, they want to change you, love them and they will walk away and treat you with contempt, many escorts are in this categore.

I am not good with such women, because its not my nature to be like the above if I like someone.

pwd

cherrypicker555 wrote: »

Neg women ie those with their bitch guard up have usually been treated v badly by guys, often they are v attaractive, they also gets lots of guys coming on to them whom they treat with contempt.

Yet if you can get beyond the bitchguard they are loyal, because they are not easy.

Neg critisism, hot/cold and going disdent is the best approach with them.
Most have father complexes, in the bedroom they are submissive, treat them with contempt( ie get them to buy you 200 euro shirts, pay to repair your car etc), and they will love you, for that is what they are comfortable with, they need to care,they need to believe your sob stories, they want to change you, love them and they will walk away and treat you with contempt, many escorts are in this categore.

I am not good with such women, because its not my nature to be like the above if I like someone.


Consider this.



Anyway, I was reading an article in the paper about Ted Bundy [the mass murderer] being on trial in Florida. In the article it said the courtroom was filled with women waiting to give him flowers, love letters and wedding ****ing proposals … and I'm afraid to say that the first thing that entered my head was: "And I'm not getting laid." What am I doing wrong? I read another article, a woman is suing the state of Wisconsin. Here's why: She married a fella. He's on death row. Why is he on death row? He killed 8 women … he has AIDS, and she's suing the state for rights of conjugal visits. And I'm afraid to say that the first thing that came to my head was: "And I'm not getting laid."

Okay, what exactly are you ladies looking for in a man here? They must have been heavy on the old sense of humor that you always talk about in your little women's polls. "Ted Bundy, that old whip, he's hilarious. Some of the things Ted would do, he kills me. I overlooked the whole mass murder things 'cause he kept me in stitches." It's just depressing. Michael Bolton, Garth Brooks – achey breaky ****ing **** this guy is – Ted Bundy getting wedding proposals.

You know, we're ****ed up here. I tell you, Satan's gonna have no trouble taking over here 'cause all the women are gonna say: "What a cute butt." "He's Satan!" "You don't know him like I do." "He's the Prince of Darkness!" "I can change him."

And I bet that's true, man. I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego. He'd rule the earth for a day, then we'd see him outside, mowing the lawn. "Hey, aren't you Satan?" "Shut up." "Ooh, Mr. Prince of Darkness, you forgot the edge back there." "Shut up." You'll see him at the supermarket buying "Tampons, aisle three …" "Aren't you Satan?" "Shut up." "You're pussy-whipped!" "No, I'm Satan! Grrr!" "You're not Prince of Darkness, you're Pussy-whipped of Darkness!"

That's very funny. Here's one for you: What do CherryPicker and Denis Leary have in common?

Not bothered with continuing arguing with some of the posters who replied to my pevious posts. Trying to reply to some of the posts would feel like scrubbing the inside of my eyeballs with sandpaper - slowly reiterating what has already been put forth clearly.
eg:

tantipie wrote:

the girl was called a slapper for no reason

Wibbs

cherrypicker555 wrote: »

Neg women ie those with their bitch guard up have usually been treated v badly by guys, often they are v attaractive, they also gets lots of guys coming on to them whom they treat with contempt.

Yet if you can get beyond the bitchguard they are loyal, because they are not easy.

Neg critisism, hot/cold and going disdent is the best approach with them.
Most have father complexes, in the bedroom they are submissive, treat them with contempt( ie get them to buy you 200 euro shirts, pay to repair your car etc), and they will love you, for that is what they are comfortable with, they need to care,they need to believe your sob stories, they want to change you, love them and they will walk away and treat you with contempt, many escorts are in this categore.

I am not good with such women, because its not my nature to be like the above if I like someone.

This kinda thread comes up in PI on a very regular basis. "How do I meet women, how do I get women, how do I keep a woman" etc. The replies seem to divide broadly between, the "be yourself/it'll happen for you" types and the more recent "Pickup artist" types.

The truth such as it may be, lays in the middle IMHO. If you've been a submissive wallflower all through your teens and you never got to have interactions with women except as mates(that you often fancied) then I can see how this pickup lark will work. Or at least appear to work. For one simple reason. You end up interacting with women, where you didn't before. I really think its a simple as that.

All this neg stuff is really just the old stylee treat em mean keep em keen dressed up. It was equally daft as a notion to live by too. Again I can see how it might work, if your previous interactions with women were overly submissive and put them on a pedestal too much. Of course women don't like that. I wouldnt like that and I'm a bloke. Add in that IME women prefer confidence in a man far more than men look for that in a woman. Again if you're throwing neg stuff about it means you're at least interacting with women where you didn't before.

Where I find it interesting is that while it does throw up some interesting insights into the psychology of women in a very general way, it equally throws up some interesting insights into the psychology of a lot of young men, who have simply forgotten or have never been given good examples of how to be men. Not boys. Not macho meatheads. Not "nice" guys. Men.

Women want a man. Secure, emotionally balanced, personally ambitious, interesting, fun to be around, socially secure, emotionally consistent, attractive to other women, loyal, but with clear boundaries. Be like that and you wont have to "neg" anyone.

As for the "bitches" often described by the followers of the pickup stuff, well I've met a fairly large cross section of people in my life. Men and women. Some were nice, others were nice but we didn't get on, some were emotionally damaged, some were plain mad, some were pains in the arse. You know? People. I've honestly never met one of these cardboard cutout women in my life. I really haven't. People and women are more complex and interesting than that. It makes for good reading for men who've not interacted enough with women and gives them an a, b, c, structure to follow and gives purveyers of this stuff a good way to make money too. It seems to appeal more to the "nerd" types who crave linear structures too. That's cool, but its simpler than that IMHO.

If you want to meet more women? Become more social. Grow your social network. If you're shy around them then expose yourself beyond your comfort zone to more social interaction. Men and women alike. Become more interesting and interested in your life. Travel, go out more. Force yourself to do more things. Push your comfort zone. Treat faiures as a lesson, not an end point.

If you find you like a woman? Don't try to be her "friend" first hoping for more later. Just ask her out. If she says no, fine. That's her right and why go for someone who doesn't want to go for you? If she says yes, go for a coffee, a meal if you can stump up the cash. If its nice weather go for a walk and a picnic. It won't break the bank. Avoid the flicks as you don't get to talk with each other. Listen to her(v important). Talk with her. For gods sake, don't get over emotional and pledge undying love on the first date. You'll look like and be a tool.

If a relationship kicks off? Treat her well and with respect. Don't treat her like a goddess. Treat her as an equal human being just like you, with foibles and talents, just like you. Treat her as a partner on the same road through life for however long it lasts. treat yourself well and extend that to her.

Shít its a big subject and that's very basic madness from me, but you get the gist. The most imprtant bit in this typically rambling guff from me is this; Be secure, emotionally balanced, personally ambitious, interesting, fun to be around, socially secure, emotionally consistent, attractive to other women, loyal, but with clear boundaries. Do that and youll rarely want for company and options romantically.