work night out

LegacyUser

hi im sure im really going to annoy some people with what i am about to write
but really need some advise , i have become very close to a man i work with due to things in my past i don't let a lot of people get close to me emotionally or sexualy but for some reason i have let him get closer than anyone before here's the problem he's married he has told me that he would like us to be more than friends and i have said no more than once but every couple of months he brings it up again we are due to go on a work night out tomorrow night and i know he will try it on again and im so tempted to sleep with him
but to me it would be a one night stand and i've always hated girls that have sex with married men now i'm thinking of becoming one i've shocked myself by even thinking of it but part of me thinks well if he dosent care about this wife why should i

LegacyUser

A couple of years ago I was working very closely with this guy, very attractive, very flirty, and we became very close. After we had been working a long weekend together he phoned me to basically ask me to have an affair with him. I really struggled because I fancied him like mad, but he was married with 2 kids. I always thought I'd never even consider sleeping with a married man but I was so tempted. Bizarrely at the same time a friend of mine had begun to sleep with a guy she worked with who was engaged. They ended up carrying on a 2 year affair, during which time he married his fiancé. He completely fcuked her head up and she has done nothing but regret it since she finally had the courage to end it.

I made the decision not to sleep with this guy and things were very awkward for a while. The thing that made me decide not to was not my high morals that I couldn't possibly sleep with a married man (something which really surprised me), but rather what would happen if my family ever found out that I had done it. That was enough to scare me off, maybe it will scare you off too.

biko

I'd like some more information. Do you think he would leave his wife for you? Does he have children?
Or is he just after a mistress?

LegacyUser

Dangerous territory. Thing of the consequenses.
How would things be between you in work after this?
What if you start having strong feelings for him and he wanted nothing more than a one nighter?
What if his wife found out?
Just because he wants to cheat on her, it doesnt mean his wife is a bad person.
Does he have kids?
How many people will be damaged by both your actions?
Do you really want to sleep with a man who can't be faithfull?

You may think to yourself "it's just one night" but if you go ahead with it, you can't change what you both did.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but honestly put yourself in his wife's shoes and imagine what you would think of him then.

Dakeyras

its actually pretty simple. would you like to deal with a married man? would you like to deal with children that are not your own? do you love this man for who he is and accept him with his children and are you willing to be a step mother to those children as well as getting it on with the man?

if you can answer yes to all those questions and he wants you to be too then you may be going somewhere. if you cant, well then just enjoy the fun you may be having if you can deal with that

dudara

This one is a no-brainer. He's married and wants a bit on the side. He thinks that you're 'bit on the side' material.

Do you really want a man like that?

LegacyUser

op thanks everyone

The thing that made me decide not to was not my high morals that I couldn't possibly sleep with a married man (something which really surprised me), but rather what would happen if my family ever found out that I had done it. That was enough to scare me off, maybe it will scare you off too.

best advise thanks this is what has stopped me until now and to see someone else write the same makes me realise i should stay away am going to bring a male friend with me tonight he will not try anything with him around

and to answer question biko yes i do think he would leave his wife but this is not what i want
to me it would have been just sex