Headwrecked in work

LegacyUser

Has anyone had a similar experience?
There is a girl on my team in work...she is junior to me, but does not report directly to me (thank God!) And she behaves really badly in the office, she says unbelieveably inappropriate things to anybody at all regardless of who they are (she told one of the senior managers recently about her 'shagging' her husband). He works nearby and we have had to bar him from coming into our office because the two of them had been getting off with each other in the office..in the lift....in the canteen...anywhere basicially where they might be "accidentally" caught.

She has no concept of boundaries or privacy and seems to constantly need attention (negative or positive, once she's in the limelight it's all good) everything has to be about her and everything, even the simplist of things, is a drama!

She has really personal conversations really loudly on her desk phone (large op office)
I feel so sorry for her manager as ppl are always coming up to him asking him what the story is and will he not sort it out. (he has taken her aside, but he might as well be talking to the wall)

She has tried to cause trouble in the past by twisting things that ppl have said to her and she blatantly lies about stupid things, so I don't engage with her at all cause she strikes me as being a bit dangerous. ( i don't ignore her either, but I keep the interaction to a min)

It has created a terrible atmos in the office (we used to have a really good vibe, but we're all walking on eggshells having to watch everything we say)

I do feel sorry for her to a point, she has a lot of problems, including being really insecure hence the constant attention seeking....but she's exhausting and we're really busy right now...she's a full time job in herself!

Anyway, thanks for listening...anyone with a similar experience with any advice?

Miss Fluff

Have you a HR Department? Why don't you file a complaint against her for disruptive behaviour? She sounds like a complete train wreck of a human being.

mikemac

Pure attention seeker

And the way you deal with such a person is ignore them.
I know you're going to say that's impossible but find a way

LegacyUser

Thanks folks, There is a HR Dept, but they're not the best to be honest. We're keeping a log of everything that's especially outrageous...I can see it coming to us having to reporting her soon.

We're all ignoring her in as far as possible (work on same team...so I have to talk to her about work...also we all sit fairly close together) She'll just carry right on talking anyway even if you don't answer her.......or she'll come over to your desk!

I think maybe one more informal chat, possibly from one of the senior managers this time before she's reported...can't see it making any difference, but at least we will have given her every possible chance to cop on.

thanks again.....back to polishing my shotgun now I suppose

*Honey*

Her manager should have talked to her .. informally at first, if the situation continues, formally and then, if it's still a problem, she should have an interview with HR. Her behaviour is inappropriate and should have been managed better by now.

Personally, if she worked in my office and I was her supervisor/manager, I'd have gotten rid of her by now - whatever disrupts the team cannot be good for business.

Can you, as a team, speak to your manager and request that he officially does something about this?

Loxosceles

Geez. What a failwhore. Getting off on going against the grain does give other people splinters, to be sure, but it will make her annoyed when people completely ignore her. If she is really doing over-the-top stuff, she deserves what she gets. But doing something like giving a Slapper of the Year Award at lunch isn't funny...what would really be funny is an office conspiracy first to completely ignore her for like a week, and THEN to completely offend _her_ with non-sexual bodily functions en masse after her attempts to gain attention repeatedly fail. Like a group fart. Lemme 'splain.

I thought the Irish office was rough on me for blowing my nose once when I had a bad cold. Irish people tend to be completely anal-retentive in close work environments about really dumb stupid sh!t like the occasional nasal blowout or accidental fart, but gimme a break, you're sitting there 8 hours a day trying to do stuff and get things done and if you're in the same place for like 2 or 3 years, your own body is bound to catch you off guard. I think that's why people work for corner offices as they get older, because at least a 40something can shut the door as the old corpus starts to become more active.

But as for this chick, attention slappers are usually terrified of any bodily function other than sex, almost as much as they're terrified of fat. If she is going OTT with sexual bodily functions, she is probably mortified of farts or nose blowing (which would totally blow the slapper ouevre of sexual desirability).

An office conspiracy to eat the same gassy foods for breakfast would be hilarious. Like everyone in on the joke has beans on toast with sausage and cabbage and a glass of Guinness before coming in to work (No guinness if you're driving lol). Extra points if some conspirators carry a couple extra stone. Many, many extra points if women get in on it. Then everyone sets a time to get ready (while any pressure breaches are done off the set until like 11 AM) and slowly as the morning progresses, all the conspirators quietly put a troll pencil capper on the top of their cubicle wall signaling a brewing preparedness to let fly. Once enough trolls are haunting the cubicle tops, the organizer does something to signal the attack and everyone magically appears in her vicinity pretending to have a little office conference with their bums toward her, signal given, PBBFFFTTPPPLPT. And then walk off and pretend that nothing ever happened and go on as normal.

This sort of delicious nonsequitur would so horrify an attention whore that she would have absolutely no clue how to respond. Absolutely. None. It's a great practical joke on a practical joker, but on her, if everyone can't stand her and have complained to management, it would be pure hilarity that would inspire office esprit-de-corps for years to come. And might get her to back off and get a clue, and learn how to play along.

Just a suggestion.

Not that I've ever, ever gotten an annoyed IT department to organise such a thing before in my life. Never, ever. Cross my heart. For real. Absolutely.

clones1980

Whatever you decide ur going to do to deal with her i would view the above link, as seriously you dont want get yourselves into trouble over someone who clearly isnt worth it

Bullying is repeated inappropriate behaviour that undermines your right to dignity at work. It is usually done by one person and aimed at a person or group to make them feel inferior to other people. Bullying can be verbal bullying, physical bullying or otherwise and it can take many different forms such as:

• Social exclusion and isolation
• Damaging someone’s reputation by gossip or rumours
• Intimidation
• Aggressive or obscene language
• Repeated requests with impossible tasks or targets

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/employment/equality-in-work/bullying_in_the_workplace

Dakeyras

okay another side. i love our receptionist, shes loud and makes everyone feel cared about becuase she asks about them and talks about herself, superficially mostly apart from the ppl that she knows care about her and we care about her.

her own and my personal life we talk about all the time. so im not sure its the same thing. the causing trouble thing is not good at all

Wibbs

Good advice from *Honey*. Don't ignore it as it's disrupting you personally and the office efficiency.

I'm not so sure it's bullying though. It sounds to me as you said, that she has no idea of social boundaries and so far the edges have not been knocked off her by life. A couple of you making some sort of unofficial entreaty to her manager would be the first point of call. That should establish the feelings of the office and if that approach doesn't work ramp it up to the official level.

I would suggest not following Loxosceles frankly daftly surreal advice. God knows where the focus on flatulence comes from. Anyway childish office conspiracy guff like that will simply escalate matters. Fine for the schoolyard but not adult behaviour.

Lollipops23

clonesbabe wrote: »

Whatever you decide ur going to do to deal with her i would view the above link, as seriously you dont want get yourselves into trouble over someone who clearly isnt worth it

as long as they have kept a record of her "innappropriate behaviour" then it shoudln't be a prob. and that fact that the entire office would stand by any claims against her would strengthen the arguement.

we have a similar prob in work, but sometime the only way of dealing with the person and getting on with your own work is to ignore them.
OP, is her work in any way decent?

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone, especially Loxosceles...got a great laugh out of that. I have some HR experience, so I would be very concious of isolating or excluding her (just wouldn't be in my nature to do it to anyone anyway...none of us would) Her manager has talked to her both informally and formally. It's not even the fact that she tells you her personal stuff...it's that she forces it on you if that makes sense....and she just never lets up!...i can't even tune her voice out

Another thing she does is constantly comment on her weight, saying she thinks she's heavy for her height (she's about a stone underweight) I'm the same height as her and could stand to drop at least a stone. She asked me if I was pregnant a few weeks ago (this was on a day when I actually looked well for a change and everyone else had been telling me so) At first I thought the weight thing was just yet more attention seeking so we'd say she was fine, but now I think, and some of my mates agree, it's defo a dig at me for being the fine meaty dish that i am!

There will be some restructuring of a few different sections soon....hopefully her manager will use that to his advantage..that's what I've advised anyway....though that's not really dealing with the problem and won't help her in the long term....ah well.

I had a similar experience with someone who worked under me a few years back...though nothing on the same scale and I was able to knock it on the head early on with a discrete informal chat...I dunno.

LegacyUser

Her work is ok lollipop, but it wouldn't be perfect either. It's a tough one cause she can be very good in other ways, she will always ask you how you are and she can sometimes be quite thoughtful. If you ask her to do something there's never any problem.

tbh I have always been surprised at her lack of maturity and strange sense of perspective because by all accounts she's been through quite a bit.

The first time I ignored something she said it tore me up to do it because that isn't me. It does need to be tackled immediately though cause it is disrupting things.

LegacyUser

question1: is this employee doing their job ? If the answer is yes then the discussion ends because this is an office and not a youth club.

question2: see question 1


separate the 'job environment' from 'social life' and 'personal life'

Based on the description I'm reading here the OP does not share the same values as the person in their office. This is neither here nor there. Even *if* this person is doing something wrong unless it is causing harm to others then : live and let live.

Until this employee has done something *wrong* (and I mean *wrong* and not just something that others don't necessarily agree with because that is two different things) then there is no case to answer. The allegations made about 'dangerous sex' are just that: allegations. Hearsay and gossip are an unfortunate part of people organizations.

Mmmm_Lemony

experienced wrote: »

question1: is this employee doing their job ? If the answer is yes then the discussion ends because this is an office and not a youth club.

question2: see question 1


separate the 'job environment' from 'social life' and 'personal life'

Based on the description I'm reading here the OP does not share the same values as the person in their office. This is neither here nor there. Even *if* this person is doing something wrong unless it is causing harm to others then : live and let live.

Until this employee has done something *wrong* (and I mean *wrong* and not just something that others don't necessarily agree with because that is two different things) then there is no case to answer. The allegations made about 'dangerous sex' are just that: allegations. Hearsay and gossip are an unfortunate part of people organizations.

Strongly disagree! Regardless of whether she is doing her allocated amount of work, whatever that amounts too, she is required to act in a sensible manner. I'm sure her contract states this.

Similar situation in our place, two girls together causing havoc, fortunately managers actually stepped in and seperated them, now place is much more relaxed. Everyone can now have a laugh and a bit of craic.

OP, if your manager isn't doing anything about it then you need to go higher up the ladder, its one thing to avoid being anal about the office atmosphere, and another to put up with this kind of lark!!!

LegacyUser

Just ignore rudeness..rise above it.. your bald not brazen