Is it better the devil you know ?

LegacyUser

Hello all,

Weird situation going on and I feel like an idiot and used and hurt and angry - mostly angry at myself.

I have separated from my partner and I met ex old boyfriend. We spent the weekend together, no sex just talking, talking, talking, a little bit of kissing, but that was pretty much it. Not that we didn't want to we just restrained ourselves....

He told me that he had split from his wife and now he has told me they are going to counselling to try resolve their issues. I'm just pi^%$d off that I allowed myself to be used, even though I didn't know it at the time. Or was it just bad timing on our part. Or was he trying to sow some wild oaths 'while being single'. Or as they said in friends 'We were on a break !'

Was he just checking was the grass greener and decided better the devil you know ?

I'm not being funny, but I'm a good looking girl, slim, good job, my own house, educated - and I'm wondering what do she have that I don't ? It's such a knock to my confidence ...

Isn't it amazing how we allow ourselves to get hurt - And the worst thing is - he kept saying 'I'm really nice' but he owes it to his wife - What does nice translate to for you guys out there - is it boring, uninteresting, what ?

Princessa

"I met ex old boyfriend"

Ye are obviously ex's for a reason, maybe he realised in ye'r weekend of talking the reason why ye broke up in the past.

Move forward, i know its easier sometimes to get back with an ex as its comfortable and ye have a history, but that can be a bad thing a lot of the time.

Best of luck for the futue though.

Unregistered

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm not being funny, but I'm a good looking girl, slim, good job, my own house, educated - and I'm wondering what do she have that I don't ?

A marriage, maybe?? Seriously, why does it matter? You're both different people, not two items with point scores depending on various criteria.

Isn't it amazing how we allow ourselves to get hurt - And the worst thing is - he kept saying 'I'm really nice' but he owes it to his wife - What does nice translate to for you guys out there - is it boring, uninteresting, what ?

Translates to "I'm feeling guilty and trying to make myself feel better about cheating on my wife and then using you"
via kissing, which I wouldn't call "using" much anyway

Just move on and forget about him, he's an ex, you didn't sleep together, there's more and better out there who are single

Miss Fluff

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm not being funny, but I'm a good looking girl, slim, good job, my own house, educated - and I'm wondering what do she have that I don't ?

A marriage certificate I shouldn't wonder.

MagicMarker

How exactly did he 'use' you?

CDfm

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm just pi^%$d off that I allowed myself to be used, even though I didn't know it at the time.

At what point have yopu decided you were used or did someone tell you you were -please this has to be make believe and cant be true.

star-pants

You're separated, and he was on a break from his marriage. Who knows what type of talks they were in, or met up and chatted and realised it was something worth fixing or trying for.
He didn't make any promises or anything - ye met up and chatted and obviously both of you were a bit lonely and have an old connection so it wasn't unlikely that ye'd kiss. Ye aren't dating for a reason, and I wouldn't feel used. He told you the story as it was at the time.

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Thanks for the response. Your right I over reacted. I was on such a high after meeting him, and I forgot how much I felt for him until I met him, and then when we were talking he told me he was going back to try counseling with his wife I was upset.

But then I remembered that is why I loved him before, because he does have a good heart and is trying to do the right thing and I do hope it works out for them.

I'm just going to have to find a tall, dark, handsome guy who totally adores me for me :-)

CDfm

theres nothing wrong with being friends too for now

That_Guy

I know you may feel used but you said that there was no sex. Only a lot of talking and some kissing. I don't see how a kiss can be classified as being used.

If he had sex with you and then said that he was going to try and resolve things with his wife then that would be classified as being used.

I know it feels like a big problem to you but just try and move on from it. If you're as good looking and educated etc as you say you are then you should have no trouble finding someone. No need to resent the fact that he is married or whatever. It's just how these things pan out.