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Random Ones

  • 27-02-2009 12:10pm
    #1
    gerTheGreat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 871 ✭✭✭


    There were two old boys from Cork who love to fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They'd heard about it up in Canada, and they took off up there. The lake was frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle. One of them said, "We're going to need an ice pick."

    So they got that, and they took off. In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and said, "We're going to need another dozen ice picks."

    Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions, but he didn't. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left.

    In about an hour, he was back. Said, "We're going to need all the ice picks you've got."

    The bait man couldn't stand it any longer. "By the way," he asked, "how are you fellows doing?"

    "Not very well at all," he said. "We don't even have the boat in the water yet."

    A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Buddy! how long before I can get a haircut?"

    The barber look around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the guy leaves.

    A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks..."how long before I can get a haircut?"

    Again, the barber looks around at shop full of customers and says "about 2 hours." The guy leaves.

    A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks "how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says "about an hour and a half". The guy leaves.

    The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey, Joey, I'll give you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes."

    In a little while, Joey comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber says, "this must be good, where did he go when he left here?"

    Joey says, "To your house!"
    A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!

    A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.

    The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my 'thingy' and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.

    The moral of the story:

    If you are hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks.


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