is this normal?

LegacyUser

Is it normal to have sex just once a week..if lucky? over two years with the bf now, we're both in out late twenties and and since we moved in together sex has dropped from everyday to once a week or less. Appart from that, everything is ok, he's very affectionate etc. I asked him and he said he was just tired and does not feel comfortable taking about that, he avoids to talk about it.

LegacyUser

Hey there i was going out with a girl for the last 3 years and it was petty much the same as your situation. Maybe 2-3 times on good weeks but there would be alot more weeks that we would just have sex once or maybe twice a week. I think it depends alot on the time you have to be up in the morning aswell. But definitely helps to get to bed earlier. Especially if he is tired or has to be up earlier than u in the morning.

MagicMarker

I would say once a week for a couple in a long term relationship is probably just below average. I'd say at least twice a week would be more normal.

Nothing that can be fixed with some added spice.

jim o doom

for me it's well below average; but I have a very high sex drive whereas my OH does not; but she makes the effort on my behalf and we go to bed earlier to ensure that we are not too tired for it!

I think if we werent making the effort due to my drive it would be more like twice a week.

LegacyUser

Its normal OP, but maybe not average.

I think studies state average is 3 times a week ....

I read somewhere there has been a huge upsurge in men losing their libidos lately due to the recession etc which is terrible....

Could he be worried about his job etc?

Is all well medically....?

Oh The Humanity

and since we moved in together sex has dropped from everyday to once a week or less

Hmmm, that is not good.

Be gently persistant with the conversation OP, let him know its important to you.

See if there is a good reason for it, could he be worried about something...money perhaps?

If he is very tired, he could look into a multivitamin, some lifestyle changes etc...

Sometimes you hear of couples where everything is ok for the first year or two, then one of them suddenly reduced the frequency of sexual intimacy for no reason and refuses to discuss it.

What it seems to be is that that person had a lower sex drive all along but it was temporarily disguised by the 'honeymoon' phase of the relationship, when that passes they feel it is acceptable to begin to ration out sex....

Gently encourage him to talk and let him know it does bother you, but you are willing to listen.

star-pants

For it to drop so drastically in a short space of time is odd indeed.
If his work load has increased, or he's under pressure/stress from work or other aspects that might come into play also.
The only way to try and sort this is to talk to him, I know you said he tries to avoid the subject, but intimacy is a big part of a relationship and this will only build up and annoy you. Talking and being honest is the best policy, rather than snapping after holding it in too long.

There could be any number of reasons he's not into it as much - tiredness, health or as someone else said, maybe he has a lower sexdrive and things are cooling down. I know I had/have health issues with sex and I felt it only right to explain it, so as not to make the other person feel bad/worry. So just explain to him you're concerned and hopefully he will open up a bit to you.