Bad Experience in Rathmines.

FlutterinBantam

The Flutter was motoring South to a meeting in his best tin of fruit,when the previous nights exhuberance placed a strain on the badge circa Rathmines.

Being well versed in the warning signs Flutt pulled in to Military Rd ,parked and headed towards The Swan centre.

En route things became serious and severe pressure was built up with possible dire consequences to the "tin", and to cut a long story short, at the Swan it was full scale emergency.Up the stairs to be confronted by a barrier and a 20c fee to enter the lavvie.No change in the Flutt's pocket and as things were at the "Here's Johnny"stage, up over the barriers in and just managed to save the tin and left a fair old map of The Phillipines on the pot.

Now after cleaning up I emerge to be confronted by a security person,who sourly hinted that "police" might be called for "payment evasion".

I apologised profusely and offered to get change and pay but this person was not co-operative.
Eventually I said ,"Look Cap'n I'm out of here", heres €10 sort it out and have a drink for yourself.

Seemed to be satisfied with that, but should public toilets have a charge and should there be customer only signs in Pubs, and eateries.

What are we apying taxes and rates for.

Paddy's day junkets by the looks of it:mad:

milod

I feel your pain man. Well not your pain obviously, but that sort of pain like. I was caught short on Tuesday evening after a particularly spicy Korean squid dish. I was touching cloth in me best designer billies and nipped into the Oak to drop the kids off at the pool, only to be given the evil eye by the barman. I nearly bought meself a pint afterwards to justify the visit, so to speak, but my contrary demeanour kicked in and there was a staring match as I blatantly walked out the door.

If we can nationalise the banks, why not all the bogs too, for the good of society? (or at least that segment of society that suffer a determined turtles head).

petes

I wouldn't mind but you did offer to pay afterwards.Sounds like a right arse to me.

CreepingDeath

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Being well versed in the warning signs Flutt pulled in to Military Rd ,parked and headed towards The Swan centre.

Ah but you'd pay the 20c just to use the fine "air jet/air blade hand dryer" in the Swan Centre. Tis the height of hand dryer technology.

CreepingDeath

I thought shit related threads are banned here.

That they disappeared faster than a packet of swan flavoured crisps in a Polish pub.

here.from.day.1

Read boards while eating your breakfast she says.. itl be fun she says.. :pac:

Sleipnir

€10 for a dump? Man we need this recession badly.

dSTAR

Should've given him the arse.

Mr. Presentable

Public toilets should be free, but those in a shopping centre are not strictly public toilets. They are customer toilets. 20c is very reasonable. The security man is very unreasonable - I'd have been interested to hear the Garda response if he'd called them

_feedback_

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

The Flutter was motoring South to a meeting in his best tin of fruit,when the previous nights exhuberance placed a strain on the badge circa Rathmines.

Being well versed in the warning signs Flutt pulled in to Military Rd ,parked and headed towards The Swan centre.

En route things became serious and severe pressure was built up with possible dire consequences to the "tin", and to cut a long story short, at the Swan it was full scale emergency.Up the stairs to be confronted by a barrier and a 20c fee to enter the lavvie.No change in the Flutt's pocket and as things were at the "Here's Johnny"stage, up over the barriers in and just managed to save the tin and left a fair old map of The Phillipines on the pot.

Now after cleaning up I emerge to be confronted by a security person,who sourly hinted that "police" might be called for "payment evasion".

I apologised profusely and offered to get change and pay but this person was not co-operative.
Eventually I said ,"Look Cap'n I'm out of here", heres €10 sort it out and have a drink for yourself.

Seemed to be satisfied with that, but should public toilets have a charge and should there be customer only signs in Pubs, and eateries.

What are we apying taxes and rates for.

Paddy's day junkets by the looks of it:mad:

One.

Trick.

Pony.

Doolee

Cant...:pac:.stop...:)..laughin....:P:o:D.............will reply.......later:D

minxie

bet you enjoyed it tho

RATM

Once heard of some ye olde english law that still exists here that says a householder has to let you use their toilet in the event of an, ermmm, emergency. Not sure how much truth is in it, you're certainly not getting your spluttering ass pipe beyond my front door :pac:

Also heard that its illegal to piss in the streets but it is not illegal to do a number two as long as you cover your ass with something. Anyone up for a dump outside Brown Thomas on Grafton St ?

minxie

RATM wrote: »

Once heard of some ye olde english law that still exists here that says a householder has to let you use their toilet in the event of an, ermmm, emergency. Not sure how much truth is in it, you're certainly not getting your spluttering ass pipe beyond my front door :pac:

Also heard that its illegal to piss in the streets but it is not illegal to do a number two as long as you cover your ass with something. Anyone up for a dump outside Brown Thomas on Grafton St ?

ill bring the camera :eek:

stovelid

I seem to remember just climbing over the turnstile outside the Swan Centre jacks before, and not getting snared.

Tough call.

CountingCrows

Next time release the carrot dispenser on top of the turnstile. Checkmate

IronMan

Wouldn't take a dump outside Brown Thomas, I'd make use of the wonderful facilities upstairs. I've often squeezed out a nut roast against the pewter there.

old boy

this is a ****e thread

Darragh29

Flutter you're lucky you got such a warning. Last time that happened me, I spewed up all over the passenger seat!

EDIT: You talking about puking or a brown trout?

podge3

RATM wrote: »

Also heard that its illegal to piss in the streets but it is not illegal to do a number two as long as you cover your ass with something.

I heard that also, but apparently its quite difficult to drop a log without peeing too.

connundrum

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Seemed to be satisfied with that, but should public toilets have a charge and should there be customer only signs in Pubs, and eateries.

I'd charge a tenner for the use of my crapper, because its my crapper. And I'd leave Aldi sandpaper in there for your use too.

I'm sure the owner of said Shopping Centre said something similar to himself one day as he saw the 20th man in a tin o fruit burst into his toilet, shit against the wall and leave with a smile on his face - only for the owner to have to pay a cleaner to go in and sort it out.

You poo, you pay. Unlucky.

ferrigan101

RATM wrote: »

Once heard of some ye olde english law that still exists here that says a householder has to let you use their toilet in the event of an, ermmm, emergency. Not sure how much truth is in it, you're certainly not getting your spluttering ass pipe beyond my front door :pac:
quote]

That old law is still active in Scotland. (Where am fae likes, ye ken?) Never had the chance to try it out though.... Mind you if someone came knocking on my door saying it was an "emergency" I'd tell them to call the cops!!!

Also, (in Scotland as far as I know, not sure about over here) it is perfectly legal for the driver of a carriage:pac: (buses and taxis aswell as horse drawn carriages) to urinate on the front kerbside wheel if the need arises.

As for the pooing on Grafton Street, let's not let the knackers know about this one eh? Please?:D

Nodin

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

The Flutter (....)y the looks of it:mad:

It pays to know the staff in the local chippers. I used know all of them in what used be Buffalo Bills (now Dominoes Pizza) beside the Rathmines Inn. Also Belgrave Park used be handy, (but the bushes around the perimeter are all gone now, so you can't skulk in there anymore...).

Fulton Crown

connundrum wrote: »

- only for the owner to have to pay a cleaner to go in and sort it out.

You poo, you pay. Unlucky.

Thats what cleaners are for Cunnie.

Really hate that - when barmen try to be smart - was in some difficulties myself recently town - got the eye from a barman as I headed for the commodes.

Dropped a good plug of sour sh1t in the cubicle - let's just say she "spread "on exit like a dum dum bullet.

As I exited smart ass says "Anything I can get you" ?

"Yeah" says I "Cillit bang ! an a wire brush for cubicle 2."

Fooker is still lookin at me !!

Noiiiiice one .......

Big Wave

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

The Flutter was motoring South to a meeting in his best tin of fruit,when the previous nights exhuberance placed a strain on the badge circa Rathmines.

Being well versed in the warning signs Flutt pulled in to Military Rd ,parked and headed towards The Swan centre.

En route things became serious and severe pressure was built up with possible dire consequences to the "tin", and to cut a long story short, at the Swan it was full scale emergency.Up the stairs to be confronted by a barrier and a 20c fee to enter the lavvie.No change in the Flutt's pocket and as things were at the "Here's Johnny"stage, up over the barriers in and just managed to save the tin and left a fair old map of The Phillipines on the pot.

Now after cleaning up I emerge to be confronted by a security person,who sourly hinted that "police" might be called for "payment evasion".

I apologised profusely and offered to get change and pay but this person was not co-operative.
Eventually I said ,"Look Cap'n I'm out of here", heres €10 sort it out and have a drink for yourself.

Seemed to be satisfied with that, but should public toilets have a charge and should there be customer only signs in Pubs, and eateries.

What are we apying taxes and rates for.

Paddy's day junkets by the looks of it:mad:

I have no idea WTF you're talking about.

CtrlSource

i know that toilet - what a dump!

javaboy

Post deleted for overstepping the mark.

CreepingDeath

Big Wave wrote: »

I have no idea WTF you're talking about.

He's delirious from the water loss.
His dump practically flushed itself down the toilet.

FlutterinBantam

CreepingDeath wrote: »

He's delirious from the water loss.
His dump practically flushed itself down the toilet.

That did not happen.

Stercus Accidit

I heard that because there aren't any public lavvies in Dublin, that publicans have to let you use the jacks?

FlutterinBantam

Not sure about that but they set up a few stalls outside the Bank there in College St.near the nite like stop in Westie.

Seems they are public:eek: in the strictest sense I must admit.

Went in there and there was a female scudding a hot stream of piss onto a urinal and not a bother on her.Jocks down below her knees and a vacant look in her eyes.

I made my excuses and left.

Capt'n Midnight

Instead of buying a pint , you could always buy a packet of peanuts or some such.

Max Factor

The Max Factor always has change in case the Max Factor is caught short.

Captain Darling

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Instead of buying a pint , you could always buy a packet of peanuts or some such.

Twould make for an interesting examination of the 'stool.'

Ross_Mahon

Was really sick over the Christmas, was coming back from a relations house, I have this sudden urge to get sick, So i get out of the car and run to the nearest garage, So i enter the place green faced "Wheres your toilet?" to which she replies "Sorry customers only"

*Gets sick all over the floor*

She freaked after seeing that, So i just ran out of there with a grin full of sick

Nodin

Sure ye don't need a jacks to puke, fer fecks sake....Its that kind of thing thats led to the decline of the traditional Sunday morning path skip.