where to start

kinivrus

hi every one

just got engaged to the girlfriend over the weekend, now that we've finished celebrating, we've started planning and to be quite honest it is daunting.
so i have a few questions if people could answer them we would really appreciate it.

1. what is the difference between a civil ceremony and a religious one. is there still the whole walkng down the aisle with the civil one or is that just signing the registrar book.

2. how much do we budget for. we don't want a straight forward wedding. we are looking for something a little different. the wedding dress will be red( more then likely have to be ,made specifically) and the groom in a cream suit which would be bought not rented. we want to get married on 26th december 2010. and in a castle. we don't want a sit down meal more of a real fine finger food buffet. with a free bar for the main party. there will be about 70 at the main party and then possibly another 30 just for the afters.

3. my fiancée is not confirmed, can she still get married by a catholic priest. or would we need to do a civil wedding or different religions wedding. we would prefer to be married by a priest because we really want the whole walking down the aisle thing, but don't really want the hassle of being confirmed, but if we really have to we will.

4. will it be much more expensive to get married on St Stephens day.

5. fiancèe would like to know is red a popular colour for a wedding dress

6. pre marriage courses, are these really necessary, how much do they cost,

7. and then if some one could tell us even where to start it would be great.



Cheers
David

ecaf

Congratulations on your engagement. There are a few links you can look at to find the answers regarding Catholic marriages / Civil cermonies.
First you can take a visit to www.gettingmarried.ie and http://www.groireland.ie/getting_married.htm
As far as I know, you do walk down the aisle in civil ceremonies.

As for budgeting, people have had weddings for €10k and under, most come between €15-20k, it really depends on your priorities and what you want to spend.
You will have to check prices in castles and see if they do buffets, there may also be minimum numbers required. Sometimes these are reduced for a week day, your current date is a Sunday - some parishes don't do weddings on a Sunday.

Can your fiancée be married by a Catholic priest? I don't know for sure, but on the www.gettingmarried.ie website under "First Steps" the is a choosing the cermony section for Church expectations. You may have to speak to a priest to advise you, but we had to supply our batismal & confirmation certs when registering with the state for a church marriage.

Again for costs - you will need to speak with the venue, I can't see why it should be more expensive on St. Stephen's day.

There are a few all red wedding dresses available, I seen one last weekend I think it was around €600, but most dresses are around €1000 - €1500, but you can spend a lot more. There is also the option to get a Red bodice and White skirt, or White dress with red detail on it. You do not necessarily have to get it made, but there will be less choice of style for red dresses in the shops.

Most catholic priest recommend that you take the pre marriage course, you must produce the certificate before filling out the pre-nuptiual enquiry form with him.
It does highlight some issues that may not have been considered before getting married. They cost €150 last year.

You will also have to pay €150 to notify the state of your intention to marry.
Other costs will include (not all of which are necessary):

Photographer
Videographer
Band
DJ
Cake
Dress
Suits
Bridemaid(s) dresses
Flower girls / page boy
Jewellery
Invitations
Gifts for Bridesmaid / Bestman
Church singer
Organ player
Food
Afters food
Wine
Toast / bar extension
Honeymoon
Chair covers
Cars

bensoneb

Hi David,

Firstly congratulations, you really have a wonderful time ahead of you organising what will hopefully be the happiest day of your lives.

If you're looking for recommendations on a castle, I can highly recommend Slane Castle. I got married there in August and the setting was exquisite. Our numbers were very similar to yours and everyone thought that it was very intimate and felt like they were in our home (I wish) for the day. They contract in a company called 'with Taste' to do the food and that too was amazing. Our canapes and evening food was finger food and there was lots of choices and it was definately of a very high quality.

Regarding the ceremony, we had a Unitarian service in the castle and I got to walk up the aisle. It was a beautiful ceremony and you make what you want of it. They give you a template as a guideline and you can add or delete as you wish therefore making it very personal. They do ceremonies for all denominations so the fact that your fiance isn't confirmed wouldn't have any bearing on the ceremony.

Red would be fabulous for her wedding dress especially being a Christmas wedding. I was planning on wearing Red too but when I tried on a white dress, much to my surprise I was in tears and the red dress went out the window. She should look for ballgowns on the internet as she'll find more of a range than just looking for wedding dresses.

The castle and the dress would probably cost the most and with all the other things that need to be done, you can go as cheap or expensive as you like. This site is great for giving recommendations so if you have any questions, just shout and someone will have some words of wisdom.

If you want more details on the costs of Slane, pm me and I'll send you what I can.

Regards,:pac:

kinivrus

thanks very much for all that it seems very helpful, and at least i can start somewhere with it so thank you.

sharonl

Hi David, Congratulations on your engagement.

If your looking for a castle, I'd recommend kilkea castle in kildare. I've booked it myself for my wedding next year, but the down side is you must block book all 35 rooms in the castle. This could change or be open to negotiation due to the big 'R' but its one thing they wouldn't budge on for us. I do know of other people who only had to block book 20 rooms. Menu is around 60-80 euro per head for the meal and that will depend on your choice but the castle is fabulous, very medieval and has great atmosphere.

Just remember if you want a church ceremony, I think dublin, kildare and carlow are not allowed have church wedding ceremonies on a sunday or so I've been told, and if you want a civil ceremony, registrars and as of yet don't work weekends, so you can only have a civil ceremony on a weekday. Unitarians may be an option or apparently the humanists might also be an option for a ceremony but I think you would still have to have some kind of civil registration to make it legal. I think the humanists ceremonies mustn't have any religious references in them but I'm not sure.

Other option would be go to the registry office a few days before to be legally married, and on the day of the actual wedding, have a church blessing or other ceremony. Only a registrar/solemniser or a priest who is a registered solemniser can carry out a ceremony that is also legally binding.

I've found weddingsonline.ie to be a usefull site and it has an extremely active discussion forum for all your questions.

hope this helps.

Sofiztikated

Hey guys, found it very helpful as well. Me and herself got engaged on friday past. We're taking things a little slower. It is a little overwhelming tho.

Eoin

ecaf wrote: »

Can your fiancée be married by a Catholic priest? I don't know for sure, but on the www.gettingmarried.ie website under "First Steps" the is a choosing the cermony section for Church expectations. You may have to speak to a priest to advise you, but we had to supply our batismal & confirmation certs when registering with the state for a church marriage.

A friend of mine had to get confirmed in order to get married. She felt a little funny doing it with a bunch of 11 year olds. That said, I've been to a good few mixed faith marriages, so maybe it's just completely down to the priest.

Sofiztikated wrote:

pre marriage courses, are these really necessary, how much do they cost,

Some priests don't care about the pre-marriage course - they might be just happy to do an informal one with you over a few hours. There's a recent thread on pre-marriage courses in this forum.

However, these are not a total waste of time like you might think. I was expecting a quite antiquated and largely irrelevant set of lectures over 2 days, but it wasn't that bad at all.

If you want to cut the costs, have a good look at the list of the "normal" expenses and think about each one - whether it's really necessary or not. We paid a few hundred for the car, and even though it was a long enough drive from the church to the hotel, it wasn't really worth the cash.

We were at a wedding in this place - a really nice venue. The couple had a celtic priest do an unofficial ceremony in the chapel there (it's deconsecrated), and did the actual civil ceremony on their own a day or two beforehand.