How to help low sex drive?

LegacyUser

I'm mad about sex. If he would, i'd like to do it at least thrice daily. However my OH's sex drive is lower than mine and it's actually really annoys me sometimes. It's not even that i cum through penetration, i just really enjoy the act and the intimacy. When he says he doesn't want to sometimes it breaks my heart a little because i feel like i have done something wrong.

I heard certain nuts can increase it? any other ideas?

Homer Sexual

I think we need pix of you so we can assess what the cause of this problem is.

seanybiker

rape him. He aint a real man if he dont wanna do it.

pseudonym1

Ah - this is PI right guys - dont be mean!!

OP went out with a guy same as - head reck! really thought it was me - truth is he just did not have a high sex drivie!

It is confidence destroying - not much you can do - maybe make sure he is getting enough excersice and eating ok.
Sometimes drug abuse can effect libido. There are foods and natural herbs can stock up on -

Ask yourself the question can you put up continuial sexual rejection?

Oh and maybe find other ways to be intimate - doing stuff together hanging out and having fun is the best afrodisiac! sp?

Zaph

Homer Sexual wrote: »

I think we need pix of you so we can assess what the cause of this problem is.

seanybiker wrote: »

rape him. He aint a real man if he dont wanna do it.

Both banned for a week for unhelpful posts

Klingon Hamlet

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm mad about sex. If he would, i'd like to do it at least thrice daily. However my OH's sex drive is lower than mine and it's actually really annoys me sometimes. It's not even that i cum through penetration, i just really enjoy the act and the intimacy. When he says he doesn't want to sometimes it breaks my heart a little because i feel like i have done something wrong.

I heard certain nuts can increase it? any other ideas?

Depression, lack of self esteem, anxiety, poor diet, lack of exercise, stress...these can be mojo-killers, so maybe he's suffering one of/combo of these?

Or...he could just have a low sex drive. Everyone's different. But if he's not in the mood for out-and-out sex (or in-and-out haha) he could still make the effort to look after your needs...

I googled aphrodisiacs and a zillion different ideas popped up. So I don't know about the food side of things. But honestly it could be a psychological or medical thing. If he's unhappy, a GP can help quickly.

LadyE

He could just have a low sex drive, but zinc supplements are meant to help to increase sex drive.

Talk to him about it too, I wouldnt feel so bad about it, three times a day would be alot for someone who doesnt have a high sex drive. Ask him how he feels about taking supplements etc., he might not want to/is happy the way things are

star-pants

Firstly - don't take it as rejection - I know it's probably not a nice feeling to have him say no, but if he has a low sex drive he just won't be able to have sex as often as you. And maybe he even feels bad about that - as others have said, maybe ye can be more intimate in other ways, dancing or showering/bathing together or just spending some time cuddled up - does it have to be full sex? He might be worried you want full sex all the time and knows he can't provide it.

Others have mentioned suppliments etc that he could potentially take, but I think you need to have a talk with him about it first. He might have issues, or he might not realise how frustrated you are.

anniehoo

Am i the only one thinking "thrice daily" is way above average for most people and theyre saying he has a low sex drive..trying to keep up with those demands im not surprised hes turning you down?

star-pants

anniehoo wrote: »

Am i the only one thinking "thrice daily" is way above average for most people and theyre saying he has a low sex drive..trying to keep up with those demands im not surprised hes turning you down?

fair point actually

Owen

Zinc and Vitamin E really helped my other half have a libido boost, but that was for the female body. Not so sure if it would work for the male, but Google will surely tell you.

shellyboo

anniehoo wrote: »

Am i the only one thinking "thrice daily" is way above average for most people and theyre saying he has a low sex drive..trying to keep up with those demands im not surprised hes turning you down?

Fair point, but at the same time, not the point. I don't think the OP is actually asking for sex three times a day - the impression I get is that she's asking a lot less than that and STILL getting turned down.

It's a real shame that your sex drives differ so vastly, OP, but I don't think the solution is in pill format. You need to talk to your OH - it's very possible that by asking him for sex all the time, you're putting too much pressure on him. It's something you need to sit down and really discuss - ask him how much sex he'd ideally like to be having, how he'd like it to happen, when, where etc. Get to see things from his pov, explain yours and see if you can come to some compromise.

LegacyUser

Im guessing its just a low sex drive. Im a perfectly normal healty guy, 25, exercise alot, no stress, beautiful girlfriend but im honestly happy with sex 1 a week. I dont think id be able for it 3 times a day!! Its just how I am and cant really help that. Maybe you just arent sexually compatabale.

LegacyUser

He might be worried you want full sex all the time and knows he can't provide it.

Well, if that is the case he should just be straight with the OP instead of rejecting her all the time and stringing her along. If you discuss it with him OP, let him know what you expect and ask him what he considers reasonable and then see if you can meet in the middle.

If he refuses to discuss it, its more often than not a sign that he is stringing you along and does not take your needs seriously, if he refuses to accept the need for discussion and compromise then the relationship would be in trouble.

The other thing that can happen is that he will listen and agree with you and promise to change but then fail to follow through. This is pretty confusing as well as the person says one thing but does another.

Am i the only one thinking "thrice daily" is way above average for most people and theyre saying he has a low sex drive..trying to keep up with those demands im not surprised hes turning you down?

OP never said she 'demands' thrice daily if you read her post properly, she said she would 'like' and 'if he would'. Totally different.

'way above average for most people' is a meaningless phrase tbh.

Im female and I like it at least once a day and more on weekends, I can only speak for myself and not the fabled 'most people'

Libertine2002

First of all, are you both seeking ways to increase his sex drive or is it just you? Its probably a little unfair on him to be doing this without him knowing. The way I see it you have a higher sex drive, that irritates you, but unless he sees it as a problem too you have to just either put up with it or leave him. You should only seek ways of increasing his sex drive if he wants to too. Otherwise it could put more pressure on him, knowing you're not satisfied, and that kind of pressure can completely destroy a guys sex drive.

kevmy

I'm just wondering if it was the other way around and a guy was asking advice on how to increase his girlfriends sex drive by sneaking her certain foods would the advice be different?

I'm guessing it would and that it would be much more along the lines of "thats just the way she is" and "how dare you try to change her"

Oh The Humanity

kevmy wrote: »

I'm just wondering if it was the other way around and a guy was asking advice on how to increase his girlfriends sex drive by sneaking her certain foods would the advice be different?

I'm guessing it would and that it would be much more along the lines of "thats just the way she is" and "how dare you try to change her"

Sadly, it still would be from some quarters.
Although, I do like to think a lot more women are waking up to previously accepted double standards.

Anyway, I would just say to OP, you have to get him to talk about it and face up to the fact that it is an issue. Dont let him sweep it under the carpet.

howamidifferent

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm mad about sex. If he would, i'd like to do it at least thrice daily. However my OH's sex drive is lower than mine and it's actually really annoys me sometimes. It's not even that i cum through penetration, i just really enjoy the act and the intimacy. When he says he doesn't want to sometimes it breaks my heart a little because i feel like i have done something wrong.

I heard certain nuts can increase it? any other ideas?

What makes you think the problem is a low sex drive? Has he said so?

I'm not trying to be a smart-ass here but have you considered other reasons? Perhaps he has issues with your personal hygiene or lack of?
Perhaps he masturbates daily and doesnt need or want shared sex that frequently? Maybe he's tired at certain times of the day?

Communication is the answer...

LegacyUser

How many times a week do you actually have sex with him OP? The reason why im asking is that I would like to find out if he actual does have low sex drive or do you just have an extremely high one. If the answer is the latter then maybe its because you dont cum. By the way I cant get enough sex for days after a good weight lifting session, there is a lot more testosterone flying around your body so maybe if it is him you should try n get him into a gym.

LegacyUser

howamidifferent wrote: »

What makes you think the problem is a low sex drive? Has he said so?

I'm not trying to be a smart-ass here but have you considered other reasons? Perhaps he has issues with your personal hygiene or lack of?

Well then he needs to tell OP that, if that is the case, she is not a mind reader!

Perhaps he masturbates daily and doesnt need or want shared sex that frequently?

Well if that is the case, he has no business wasting the Op's time being in a so called relationship.

Communication is the answer...

Yes but not just from her, from HIM too, as I said, OP is not a mind reader. If there is a problem he needs to open up to her not just silently punish her and leave her in the dark, if in fact that is the case.

LegacyUser

Not the OP but in a similar position and would just like to say thanks for those replies coz they have made me feel loads better. Especially the unreg male who said he is 25, normal, good looking girlfriend etc. and is happy with once a week. You have made me feel a lot better so thanks.

OP i think the advice is great here, I don't think I need to reiterate it. As someone said above - communication is key
good luck x
E

LegacyUser

Thank you all for your replies.

to answer a few, no i do not ''demand'' sex thrice daily, i just said that that's how high my sex drive is, and how regularly i would like in in an ideal world.

To the person who asked about if there could be other reasons such as my ''personal hygiene'' i shower daily. I wax and never have any hair down there, because that's the way he likes it. he tells me i'm beautiful on a daily basis and tells me how much he loves me all the time, and we are in a very loving reaionship. So i doubt it's anything to do about me.

To the person who said we should do other stuff together, we do! we have baths and showers together, but he seems to be much more cuddly than me.

And i do not want to ''sneak'' the supplements into his diet without him noticing. come on now.

And to those who asked how often we would have sex, it would be about once every two days. I know for some people this sounds like alot, but like i said my issue is that i could and would do it more if he would be willing.

Thanks for all the replies and any more advice would still be appreciated.

LegacyUser

and yea i have spoken to him but he doesn't seem to like that topic very much. He says in passing how he wishes he could satisfy me like i do him, but i just wanted to ask about the nuts or whatever so i could bring it up to him.
thanks again