School Problem.

LegacyUser

Hi guys, not sure how to say this, but I'm having a problem with a guy in school who for no reason wants to fight me.
Not really sure what to do, should I fight ? I'm generally a pacifist but I don't want my friends or classmates to think I'm a wuss.
Allso dose anyone no if two under eighteen outside school fights count as assult ?
anyway thanks in advance for the help.

Victor

Our guidance counsellor had a pair of boxing gloves for stuff like this.

He's being an idiot, don't lower yourself to his level.

Unregistered wrote: »

Allso dose anyone no if two under eighteen outside school fights count as assult ?

Yes it does.

PirateShampoo

Inside or outside of school, its Assault either way.

scottless

if he's bigger than you just tell him it wouldnt be a fair fight and u think he should fight the biggest bloke in the class if he wants a good scrap and say it infront of everyone so hell look like a spa

Overheal

Victor wrote: »

Our guidance counsellor had a pair of boxing gloves for stuff like this.

I'm sure thats an interesting story..

Rob Roy had a good solution:

Rob: "First Cut?"
Dude: "Aye"

*Rob slices his own hand*

Rob: "Well done"

*Pub laughs at dude.*

Drodan

Try stand up to him without being over confrontational that it will lead to a physical encounter, sometimes the responsible "walking away" stuff can only lead to the "bully" pushing his luck more and more as he see's there are no consequences to his actions and you'll just allow him to taunt you.

Must stress I'm NOT saying fight, just let him know in a loud slightly stern and aggressive manner that you will not tolerate his crap.

Chances are if it ever came down to it he'd be just as afraid(or should say unwilling for whatever reason, that wasn't a popshot at you)to fight you.

pcworldsucks

T-square from behnd through the legs, yank the balls off him. When he' s rolling around on the ground say to him 'That's just a taste of the pain you'll be feeling if I hear you talking sh*t about me again you f*cking spastic c*nt'. Might want to horse a few kicks into him for good measure, show you're not a one trick pony. No-one will mess with you in future if you show them what youre capable of.

LegacyUser

just ignore him and keep ignoring he's obviously a stupid fool! dont reactor give him any reason to hit you!! just say to your friends "hes a f***in gob****e im not fightin him id get hammered im not stupid!!"and and dont hit him back if he hits you and report it and i dont mean to the school!!! but dont lower yourself to his level!!! easier said than done i know!!

Overheal

pcworldsucks wrote: »

...

Few problems here with the awl violence method:

1) Never works to plan, and you can just end up in a pure world of hurt anyway. And if you lose? You're just bruised and broken/humiliated.

2) Its illegal and you can get yourself into as much trouble as a bully for getting involved in physical violence. Depending on the severity you are looking at detention, suspension, expulsion, or even police involvement.

You can contact the school by phone at some point and raise the matter with the school without someone spotting you down in the offices - which is where problems can happen, when rumors spread around that someone is a snitch. Thing is, I'm sure more than a few people know he wants to fight you, and as far as the rumor mill is concerned anyone could potentially report it. If they dont see someone walk down there in the flesh, how can they be sure it was you? they can't. Just call up and report it, tell them you want to talk about it over the phone.

pcworldsucks

Overheal wrote: »

Few problems here with the awl violence method:

1) Never works to plan, and you can just end up in a pure world of hurt anyway. And if you lose? You're just bruised and broken/humiliated.

2) Its illegal and you can get yourself into as much trouble as a bully for getting involved in physical violence. Depending on the severity you are looking at detention, suspension, expulsion, or even police involvement.

1) Who said anything about losing. You cant lose if you open with a Tsquare to the bollox..that is a fact my good man. You could take Tyson down with that startegy.

2) it is extrmely hard to get expelled from a school these days and police dont get involved in school fights for god sake, maybe if someone was stabbed or something, but not over a run of the mill Tsquare attack. bullys get away with for years so i think op will be safe to do this once off attack and teach this bitchass Niggga a lesson once and for all.

Zaph

pcworldsucks wrote: »

T-square from behnd through the legs, yank the balls off him. When he' s rolling around on the ground say to him 'That's just a taste of the pain you'll be feeling if I hear you talking sh*t about me again you f*cking spastic c*nt'. Might want to horse a few kicks into him for good measure, show you're not a one trick pony. No-one will mess with you in future if you show them what youre capable of.

Banned for a week for advocating violence

Overheal

pcworldsucks wrote: »

2) it is extrmely hard to get expelled from a school these days and police dont get involved in school fights for god sake, maybe if someone was stabbed or something, but not over a run of the mill Tsquare attack. bullys get away with for years so i think op will be safe to do this once off attack and teach this bitchass Niggga a lesson once and for all.

Good Troll, but for the record a Weapon in a Fight carries many and more penalties, if you want to talk about expulsion. The risk doesnt match the reward: to stand up to a bully. You are much better off going through official channels. More likely the Bully will suspended, or if they have a previous record, even expelled if the school has had enough of their bullsh!t.

edit: pardon Zaph, just dispelling any idea that violence might be a good alternative.

Zaph

Overheal wrote: »

Good Troll, but for the record a T-Square used in a fight is a Weapon and Weapons in a Fight carry many and more penalties, if you want to talk about expulsion.

Overheal, please don't feed the trolls, it only drags the thread off-topic.

thanks

Nitxteha

Report this situation to the principal or whoever in the school that deals with bullying, if you feel they are no help report this to the police. This is a serious issue.

These type of people are only insecure people, that need to scare others to make them feel better. He may even be jealous of you because you feel confident and mature enough not to fight.

Do keep up with your attitude, avoid a fight is not of cowards but intelligent and mature people. Don't worry about what your friends may think, if they know and are good friends they will support you.

However, take your precautions and try to be with friends at all times (even if you go to the toilet). Work out in the gym and/or take a self-defence sport like judo in case you have to need it (although fight is always the last option, first option is talk to calm him down or run).

Good luck

smileysurfer

Definitely report the bully! These guys in schools get away with too much. If the teachers are aware something can then be done to control him

LegacyUser

To the OP. Speaking from experience I feel one is caught between a rock and a hard place. Maybe the school has a great system in dealing with bullying but in my experience the repercussions in reporting such matters can make life even worse.
I went through it but on moving to another school took the bull by the horns and stood up to people, in the defensive way and not the fuelling the violence way. I'm not condoning violence but if someone throws a punch at you you must learn to avoid it. On a few ocassions I had no option but to go along with it and take the few hits. By turning up you can mock the system that they are part of by not fighting but defending yourself.
People will respect you for it. If the school system is in any way in preventing bullying they will be on the scene in time to save youir bacon. Just my 2 cents worth who gained a lot more respect.

pingpongz

This is part of school life... I would suggest getting someone you know to show you how to fight. If you choose not to the bully wont stop intimidating you and making fun, sometimes its the only solution.

Just go in hard and fast and dont stop until he is down, punch after punch to the face. Basically flip out, if you intensify the violence chances are he will back down.

I found from my own experience trying to reason with these type of people is futile and reporting it to a teacher will only get you laughed at.

Sucky situation to be in, hope you win!

Remember, be relentless, if hes still standing you havn't done enough damage yet.

To mods, i realise encouraging violence is against the charter but i think in this situation its unavoidable and would be better for him in the long run

smileysurfer

violence is definitely NOT the answer so please dont listen to pingponz!!! :eek:
Tell a teacher or parent, someone you trust! You dont have to stoop to his level to get him off your back!

LegacyUser

This guy sounds like an absolute neanderthal, the type that picks on quiet or smaller types just because he's got a bigger bone structure. Hate those fools, never hesitated to take them down a peg or two in school when I seen them at work.

Don't report it, not at the office anyway, as this will get you in worse trouble in the long run. It may be the correct thing to do but we all know it's not the way to go. Discreetly telling a teacher or something like that, is he in your class? No harm in letting someone know about it if you're genuinely worried about it, but just don't do it publicly or where someone could see you.

Do you have any older brothers or cousins in your school? Even an older neighbour who you'd trust who'd "have a word" with him? Not advocating violence at all, but sometimes these fools only understand one thing.

Overheal

Unregistered wrote: »

Don't report it, not at the office anyway, as this will get you in worse trouble in the long run. It may be the correct thing to do but we all know it's not the way to go.

I couldnt agree more, sadly. Which is why you should phone it in. If the school wants to arrange a meeting between you and your parents, then try to either have it arranged outside of school hours or at some other location like your home (teachers are nice people and they like tea). Keeping your anonymity from your class mates in reporting a bully will help you out in the long run.

Zaph

pingpongz wrote: »

This is part of school life... I would suggest getting someone you know to show you how to fight. If you choose not to the bully wont stop intimidating you and making fun, sometimes its the only solution.

Just go in hard and fast and dont stop until he is down, punch after punch to the face. Basically flip out, if you intensify the violence chances are he will back down.

I found from my own experience trying to reason with these type of people is futile and reporting it to a teacher will only get you laughed at.

Sucky situation to be in, hope you win!

Remember, be relentless, if hes still standing you havn't done enough damage yet.

To mods, i realise encouraging violence is against the charter but i think in this situation its unavoidable and would be better for him in the long run

You're fully aware of what the charter says and still you choose to breach it? Two week ban for advocating violence when you definitely knew you shouldn't.

limklad

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi guys, not sure how to say this, but I'm having a problem with a guy in school who for no reason wants to fight me.
Not really sure what to do, should I fight ? I'm generally a pacifist but I don't want my friends or classmates to think I'm a wuss.
Allso dose anyone no if two under eighteen outside school fights count as assult ?
anyway thanks in advance for the help.

In situations like this you will find out who are your true friends are.
Good friend will always stand by you or regret their actions if they desert you.

If you are a Pacifist than he is truly showing his weakness (he a true coward). Despite their aggression, Only Cowards go after people who they perceived weaker than they are.

Do not stoop to his level.

If he ever hits you do not under any circumstances respond in kind and walk away.
Yes it is an assault inside or outside of school. If he hits after school, you have two options report him to the Guards and/or to the school.

dazberry

It's quite simply really, make it known on the grapevine that you would fight him but you're not stupid enough because he'd kick seven shades of sh1t out of you so its not worth it. Gobsh1te gets his recognition and you take the high ground. If someone wants to play the chicken card, don't rise to it - in fact play the not stupid card are you for real card, and if that doesn't work, ask them if they want you to arrange for them to fight said individual instead.

D.

Elonex

Don't fight if you don't want to. Let people know he's annoying you.

Overheal

limklad wrote: »

If he ever hits you do not under any circumstances respond in kind and walk away.
Yes it is an assault inside or outside of school. If he hits after school, you have two options report him to the Guards and/or to the school.

Don't abuse self defense either. If you decide to go out to the handball alleys and let him hit you, its not self defense. The only time its self defense is when they come to attack you, and you have no option available (ie. Cornered Physically)

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the help guys, alas things have only gotten worse.
The guy, picking up on my atempts to ignore and advoid him, has gotten even more cocky and today threatened me yet again in the corridor (apparently someone different to yourself deserves to be treated like ****.). Whatsmore I had heard from the 2nd years that I am going to hit him. Now I know what your thinking why would a 5th year care what the 2nd years say, but it's embarrising in front of my friends.
And no my school dosen't have an open office after hours so I can't ring in. Allso my school is very small so if we did start fighting a teacher would see us stright away.
In a way I feel almost sorry for this guy, the only reason hes doing this is to look cool in front of his pals, but if he is always bound to his friends then how will he evr survive in the wide world ahead of our school ?
Any help on what to do would really help.

Fremen

In my school, if someone had reported a bully, it would have turned a lot more people against them, since they would be seen as a "rat". All-male schools can have a nasty culture that way. Going to a teacher is always an option as a last resort, but I advise you only to do it if things get really bad.

If I were you, I'd try to talk my way out. Ridicule is a more powerful weapon, socially speaking, than fists are. In a guy's school, there's a kind of hierarchy where everyone knows who's stronger than who. This guy probably knows he can beat you, otherwise he wouldn't be bothering.

If he comes up to you with some of his friends, as he probably will, try to cram as much contempt in your voice as you can, and say something like "Yeah, you're stronger than me, well f**king done."

Try to find out why he wants to fight you, and do whatever you can to diffuse the situation. It might feel like yo're giving in to him, but it's the path of least resistance. Remember that school lasts a long time, and at some stage, you may have the opportunity to really screw this guy over.

muboop1

Unregistered wrote: »

Thanks for all the help guys, alas things have only gotten worse.
The guy, picking up on my atempts to ignore and advoid him, has gotten even more cocky and today threatened me yet again in the corridor (apparently someone different to yourself deserves to be treated like ****.). Whatsmore I had heard from the 2nd years that I am going to hit him. Now I know what your thinking why would a 5th year care what the 2nd years say, but it's embarrising in front of my friends.
And no my school dosen't have an open office after hours so I can't ring in. Allso my school is very small so if we did start fighting a teacher would see us stright away.
In a way I feel almost sorry for this guy, the only reason hes doing this is to look cool in front of his pals, but if he is always bound to his friends then how will he evr survive in the wide world ahead of our school ?
Any help on what to do would really help.

em, hate to sound like im condoning violence, and im not. im just going to give you my experiences on the matter.

i was very bullied until about 3rd year. it stopped for a few reasons.

firstly i got big into rugby and got "big" so hitting me was a silly idea. that and i took up martial arts, so my confidence seemed to deter them.

remember the biggest sign a bully has that he will definately win is if you are afraid. fear will make you less likely to hit back etc...

what happened was one day in class he finally hit me, i put rugby tackled him through a few tables and hit him one to the ground. was never touched again.

that was my solution. i often wonder if i had another choice.
having said that, it seemed to gain me some respect etc, and i as stated earlier was never touched again...

i dont back down. a bully wants an easy target. so why go for me when someone else is prob not going to defend themselves,

i even got to point where i became the guy to stop all the bullying where i could(not some crazy vigilante just putting myself between the two, again bullies dont like the 2v1 odds...)

but again mabey take him aside and clearly tell him you wont back down again. that he cna either hit you or get past it. if he hits you you have two choices, get authourities involved or defend yourself.

i wont say which is better. only i tried the authourities, and there is to much of the "boys will be boys" **** going on-but that could of just been my school, try find a sympatethic teacher? hate to sound sexist also but i always foudn the women teachers to take this more serius then the men.

and going to the garda is useless unless u use ur phone to video him threatening you or soemthing. as you will need evidence he cant refute(keep phone ready to go next time you see him mabey? also means if it does end up in a fist fight you cna show the teachers and they will see that he wasnt leaving you much options)

anyway best ou can do regardless of how you chose is inform some teacher.

that way no matter how it turns out you can always say you told them.

if you get backed into a corner and have to fight, you warned them this might happen. if he takes you out hes in trouble, suspension etc, if he doesnt you win fair play
and if they take it with the seriousnes they should and react and put a stop to it, you still win!

bit of a win win i think... lot of grey areas do...
anyway talk to a sympathetic teacher if possible

MissHoneyBun

Please, please report this this horrible bully to a responsible adult. You are obviously young and needing advice on how to deal with this scary situation so please help yourself by speaking to a mature, responsible adult who can help and advise you.

I know it's easy for those not involved to say but please do not succumb to peer pressure by rising to this bully's bait. Win, lose or draw -fighting him only sends the message that you are willing to comply by their rules and is likely to result in you being drawn into future fisticuffs at their whim. You do not need this kind of pressure on an on-going basis nor would anybody of any age.

I won't patronise you with the "ignore him" response as realistically this isn't always possible. I understand that you are probably not in a situation to cut this guy out of your life entirely so from a practical point of view:

Keep interaction with this person to a minimum. I say at a minimum as bullies often misinterpret their victims ignoring them as fear and this often perpetuates the situation. If he speaks to you, respond briefly, firmly and then move on.

Try not to let this guy infringe on your life. By this mean, maintain your normal routine -don't walk a different route to school, go elsewhere at lunchtime. I'm sure this guy would love to think he has you running scared so don't give him that satisfaction. Just try your best to carry on as normal.

Don't discuss the potential "fight" or your feelings towards this guy to all and sundry. Of course let off steam to your close friends, but only those who you can trust. Sadly I have seen too many situations where the entire school or even schools get in on these things. In the insular community that are teenage schools this stuff can become hot gossip and this unwanted attention will only exacerbate the problem. You are not there to provide entertainment for your bored classmates so refuse to discuss the matter with them. It's none of their business and you don't need to fight for their approval. You really don't.

Don't ignore this and hope it will go away. Unfortunately I have a family member (which is probably why I feel so strongly about this) who was bullied for a long time in school, hoping that the problem would go away. It didn't and resulted in them developing a serious stress related illness for their late childhood and early teens.

I'm not trying to scare you but in a country that's notorious for young men who are pressured to conform to social ideals -to the point of feeling unable to ask for a friend's help, then please speak to somebody you trust who can help you remove this worry from your life.

muboop1

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

I know it's easy for those not involved to say but please do not succumb to peer pressure by rising to this bully's bait. Win, lose or draw -fighting him only sends the message that you are willing to comply by their rules and is likely to result in you being drawn into future fisticuffs at their whim. You do not need this kind of pressure on an on-going basis nor would anybody of any age.

are you a girl or were in a mixed school if a boy?
things are simpler in those cases it seems. to much male bravo in male schools for this to work properly in my experience. that is without intervention of some sort. be it a perr or teacher or garda etc...
backingdown invites more crap your way, for simle reason people see they can get away with it. there is always a physical pecking order whether you are willing to admit it or not(its might be subconcious but it is there)

but nobody likes to get hit. if you make clear you will stand up and give some damage back it can deter anybody in future from touching you.

It's none of their business and you don't need to fight for their approval. You really don't.

no,he doesnt but the longer this goes on for the worse it will get, he will keep pushing. if this is going on in 5th year then the year must be immture etc to be allowing it, by the time we hit 5th year we had copped on, and if a bully arose, most people would defend the victim. if they havent stopped by now i doubt they will in the next year. also school rules dictate that it is their business... they will know what is happeneing or rather some version of it.

best he makes his stance clear, no i dont want to fight him, "would you fight someone twice your size for no reason" or something similar, this will make people realise it is bullying and unfair, might gain you some allies or whatever or people will tell him to cop on. remember he is doing this for his ego, if you make him seem small to attack you, he prob wont do it!

spurious

Tell someone.

If your school is as small as you say, it will be quite easy for the person dealing with it (and every school has a designated person) to say they heard 'the second years' talking about it. Nothing will come back to you.

Wagon

Before you decide to ban me mods, hear me out: It's school. People are often retards and don't listen to reason when they're in school. So sitting down and discussing things rationally with this current git isn't always an option.

OP, walk away from it. But if you can't, by all means defend yourself. I'm not advocating violence (Zaph;)) but it's not fair to say lie down and take it when you haven't done anything.

Zaph

Wagon wrote: »

OP, walk away from it. But if you can't, by all means defend yourself. I'm not advocating violence (Zaph;)) but it's not fair to say lie down and take it when you haven't done anything.

Legitimately defending yourself is not the same as advocating violence. The posters above were banned because their solutions involved taking the fight to the bully, however nobody should be expected to take a beating without being allowed to defend themself.