Break-up with 2 kids

LegacyUser

ok i was with my ex for 5 years, had 2 kids one and 4yrs, i had a drunken one night stand when she was pregnant on the first child and she found out, she forgave me and moved on, we had a good relationship and decided to have aother child, we moved into a new house and everything was going smoothly.
she starts a course last september and after a week or 2 starts not coming hom for 2-3 days at a time and says she is staying with friends, this goes on for about 3 months, i didnt think anything about it as she didnt mind me going out on my own with my friends,
then i get the house phone bill for about 300euro, i ask her about it and said it wasnt her, so i think it must be a mistake, i get an itemised bill and one number is dialed 100 times so i ring it and its some bloke, im gutted, now i know whats going on, i confront her and throw her out of the house, im still minding the 2 kids but cant afford the childcare with the mortgage, so i ask her to move back in for the christmas period for the kids sake
then i find a letter hidden from the maternity and it turns out she is now pregnant and it looks like the date of conception is 30 Oct, whe she was seeing the bloke, so i throw her and the kids out and now they are living in her mothers council house, now i feel guilty of throwing the kids out and my ex keeps on bringing up the one night stand i had, what do people think? do i deserve what happened from the one night stand or is what she done alot worse, should i give her another chance but there is no way i could bring up another fellas baby

glezo

for starters you doing the dirt on her while pregnant was lously, but saying that she forgive you and that was her choice

but as for her going doing the same but havin an affair while leaving the child for days is not on either...
as for the case of you throwing out your kids with you ex you shouldn have done that its not their fault dont get the kids involved in that way, call her and ask to see the children and get nights with them, this could affect you for the future if it comes to court as ye been not married she has legal custody of them..

TheZohanS

It doesn't sound like a nice environment for children to be in.

ManOfMystery

Two wrongs don't make a right; regardless of your infidelity, that didn't give your wife an excuse to go out and do the same. You made a mistake when drunk which, I presume, you were sorry for - and it never happened again - whereas it looks like your wife has been consciously pursuing another guy.

So why did you throw your kids out? They've done nothing wrong and are the innocent party in this. Bad move in my opinion.

LegacyUser

op here yea its not nice at for the kids at all, i fell so guilty about the whole thing but this isnt my doing, i know what i did was lousy but that was 5 years ago, did she do this to get back at me, i do have the kids at weekends but cant afford to have them during the week with the childcare costs

glezo

Unregistered wrote: »

op here yea its not nice at for the kids at all, i fell so guilty about the whole thing but this isnt my doing, i know what i did was lousy but that was 5 years ago, did she do this to get back at me, i do have the kids at weekends but cant afford to have them during the week with the childcare costs

i reckon she did this to get back on you, probley taught well if he done it so can i..

why cant you afford them at weekdays, im sure shes paying for child care costs including feeding them, clothing, extras also.

if you want them and feel so bad, dont let extra costs put you off cut back on other things,

MagicMarker

How manly of you to throw your kids out.

Thousands of single women can't afford child care costs, you know what they do? They suck it up and work around it, however way they possibly can.

Grow a pair ffs.

What you did wasn't right, what she did isn't right, but don't take it out on the kids.

Mr. Presentable

glezo wrote: »

, im sure shes paying for child care costs including feeding them, clothing, extras also.

,

I'll bet she's not. I'll bet the state is.

Mr. Presentable

OP, you deserve what you got.

glezo

nipplenuts wrote: »

I'll bet she's not. I'll bet the state is.

how do you know, she cud be hard working woman that doent get hand outs

and if she is what harm, she has to survive with 2 kids and without state handouts she wouldn be able to give her children what they need

remember she has to get income in that would normally be 2 wage family

iMax

You threw your kids out ????

Seriously ?

Whatever about you shagging around years ago (wrong) & her doing it more recently (also wrong), what did the kids do ??

Man you suck at being a father. You first off cheated not only on your wife, but also on your kids & her vice versa... & then you throw them out of their home. Hopefully the younger one won't remember or be told about it, but the elder one will. You've probably scarred that child for life.

You're a bastard.

olliedecableguy

**** ALL UR AND THE EXS **** get them kids in the best place u can either ur hse r where she is livin JUST 4 GOD SAKE BUT THEM FIRST!!!!!!!

Overheal

I dont understand something here. I get that you had a one night stand and you guys worked that out - great. But then she is having an affair, and she is potentially pregnant by this guy, and you throw your kids/custody away to the mother, who is doing the infidelity?

You know I would think (amateurly) that you would actually win custody, well at least in an US court in a situation like that. But I don't get why you didnt ask her to go live with her mother and keep the kids to live with you? That boggles my mind. Its like you just want to leave her, and your kids, and be rid of the mess. Is that the case? Do you want your kids? I don't understand why you are throwing them in with their mother at this point in time.