BF's best friend :(

LegacyUser

Is anyone in, or has been in, a relationship where you can't stand your partner's best friend?
I know I'm gonna sound like a right b**** but I just need to get this off my chest!
I don't begrudge my BF any of his friendships etc and I'm so glad he has someone he gets on so well with.
The reasons I don't like his friend are that he is such a bad influence on my BF, he just needs to whistle and my BF jumps! In the past few years, everytime we've had some sort of argument has been because of his friend. His friend drinks every night of the week and does nothing but moan all the time, he would really get you down! They can't do anything together without involving alcohol, and this worries me because my BF has a health problem he needs to look after. I also don't trust my BF anymore to tell him stuff because in the past he's told his friend stuff that I asked him not to. I also don't trust my BF because he'll say/do one thing and when his friend comes on the scene he'll turn around and say/do something completely opposite!
Other girlfriends of fellas who are friends with him can't stand him either, so I know it's not just my problem!
Sorry if I sound like a moaning biddy, it's good to get that off my chest

Kevster

Hi,

I'm glad that you've got this off your chest, but you should really be raising these issues with him (your boyfriend). You can gauge how serious he is about your relationship with him by how he deals with your concerns (i.e. - if he laughs it off, then it shows that he isn't ready for a serious relationship and needs more time to simply grow the hell up).

Passenger

Aye, sounds like he obviously isn't taking your concerns and requests too seriously. When you have to ask a bf/gf sincerely not to pass on intimate details to their friends then you know their commitment is questionable.

To sum up, you shouldn't have to ask him not to divulge sensitive information to his friends. He should have the discretion to understand and respect your privacy.

anonymous_joe

I had one ex who had very few friends left following a big falling out. Of her friends left, I really, really didn't like a couple of them, or their attitude to her, but for her sake I ignored my feelings. In the end one of them lied to her about something I'd done and we broke up. WHich was unfortunate. ><

A lot of people hate their partner's best friend, and a lot of best friend;s hate their mate's partner. At the end of the day, they're the only rivals for time, attention, etc, and can often be involved with very different sides of someone's personality. As an example, your bf/gf might be your best friend, you might be very intimate etc, but the people you go out on the lash with and have a laugh with might be your mates.

I'd suggest you relax, if you try and make your bf turn his back on his best friend(s) it won't have any good effects...

tbh

would you buy a red car and then complain that it's red?

Your boyfriend is who he is. If you don't like it, you don't have to stay with him.