Is it wrong to contact an ex after almots 2 years..

LegacyUser

I broke up with my ex for loads of reasons.

He was conceited and self absorbed.
He has many bad habits.
Our relationship had too much tears & fighting and not enough fun.

When it was great, it was great. I was really in love with him.

However, my parents didnt like him at all, nor did my friends.

Im now with a great guy almost 2 years now, hes everything I want and the relationship is so easy and happy.

Last night I had an extremely vivid dream where I arranged to meet the ex and we spoke, hugged and it was so real. It was like, astral projection or something like that.

I had this extreme feeling of loss this morning when I woke up, I was a little heartbroken the dream wasnt real.

Now the past hour.. Ive neen drafting and deleting an email to him. I cut all contact with him to have a clean break, it worked, I got the clean break, he didnt and still called for a while but the moment I broke it off, 10 different positive things happened to my life and I knew it was a good thing I had done it.

Guys, is it normal to feel like this, Im cut up. I want to see him. I know he would want to see me. We both have new partners and are happy.

Can anyone explain why Im feeling crazy? Is it nostalgia or something?

I just dont understand what Im going through, my friends would kill me if I told them.

Gemini Sister

Its perfectly natural to want that wih your ex.

I'd hold off, give it a year or two months, if he doesn't reply you will feel hurt.

Also you have properly moved on, let it settle, thats all. You are settled now, what could you get from an ex?

Nitxteha

Forget about him. You are happy with your 2 year boyfriend, why do you want to complicate your life?

I'm of the opinion that ex stay in the past, and that's where they should remain.

Regarding your dream, I also dreamt once I beated up a very good girlfriend of mine, and when I woke up I felt relieved, but that doesn't mean I wanted to beat her up..

LegacyUser

Op here.

Yeah, I know. Nixteha, you made me laugh out loud. Thats a great example.

Thanks for making me feel normal. Tis still a little burning feel. I stopped myself in December from emailing him, and the feeling past till now.

I guess I can contain the urge.

Thanks.

anonymous_joe

Whenever someone posts about an ex one of the most commonly given pieces of advice is that your ex is your ex for a reason, hence breaking up.

What's often so obvious you miss it, is that your ex was once not your ex, but your current, and you presumably loved them very much.

You ended the relationship two years ago, you got a clean break. Either he'll ignore you, or you'll end up wanting each other again and find yourselves in a difficult and unpleasant situation.

You ended it the first time rather than stay, you clearly had reasons, keep it that way.

We all have moments of weakness, exes can be one thing that's about, so give yourself time to think before doing anything.

LegacyUser

anonymous_joe wrote: »

Whenever someone posts about an ex one of the most commonly given pieces of advice is that your ex is your ex for a reason, hence breaking up.

What's often so obvious you miss it, is that your ex was once not your ex, but your current, and you presumably loved them very much.

You ended the relationship two years ago, you got a clean break. Either he'll ignore you, or you'll end up wanting each other again and find yourselves in a difficult and unpleasant situation.

You ended it the first time rather than stay, you clearly had reasons, keep it that way.

We all have moments of weakness, exes can be one thing that's about, so give yourself time to think before doing anything.

That made PERFECT sense, thanks for taking the time to explain. I feel much better now.

Wibbs

Also examine your current relationship and see where it could be improved, on your side. I have found IME that when I was thinking about exes, it wasn't so much the ex as what I found slightly lacking in the current relationship.

jellie

Dreams can mess you up when theyre strong and vivid. its weird how strong your emotions can feel in a dream. i recently dreamt i had a baby, & my God i LOVED that baby :pac:

I also recently dreamt about my ex, and all the feelings i once had for him were at their strongest in the dream. & like you it shook me, actually took me a couple of days to get past it, & i REALLY wanted to contact him. but it did pass. id have regretted it if id contacted him & im glad i didnt.

Youll feel better in a day or so

Wagon

Leave the lad alone. If an ex contacted me after that long, I wouldn't reply.

Femelade

no..do not contact the ex.

My boyfriends ex of 7 yrs started contacting him when we got together and it caused nothing but trouble, fights, heartache..

Why bother if you are happy now.

Miss Fluff

If everything is that rosy with your current partner why do you feel so compelled to contact an ex of two years from a relationship you were unhappy in OP?