Internet Dating - introduction email advice please girls...

theganster

I'm having a go at Internet dating for the last while, its been great so far, really enjoying it. But I'm in a bit of a dry spell as lately I have not been able to strike up any good coversations etc - not getting many replies back etc.

I'm sure good looking girls must get dozens of emails from guys to which they probably reply to very few. I want to try to make my email stand out a bit and looking for advice? I guess a lot of guys probably just say something sort about like your profile etc, wanna chat... But I'm guessing women are bored of that.

Sometimes I'm unsure as to how much to compliment her in the first mail. If I do find her absolutely captivating / beautiful - do I say that or will she be getting that 3 times a day anyway etc?

What are come common mistakes - and what is usually a good intro?
Any advice appreciated.
Thanks

cantdecide

As a not particularly handsome or...ahem... 'interesting/ fun' bloke (see my work in the non-drinking forum)- I quickly realised that online dating only works so well for some of us. It can be a cold place and the numbers are against you before anyone looks at your profile or opens to your email.

My advice is get stuck in there. Do a mail shot to ALL the girls you think you fancy. Represent yourself correctly to save time and even still, don't expect miracles.

Loxosceles

Plentyoffish dot com is great and it's free.

Anotherfriend is good but not free, and chaperoned heavily due to being a pay site. But no scammers.

The worst place to meet people if you're looking for a relationship is adult friendfinder. And I mean, the worst. Not because you won't meet anyone, but because as a male you will be either targeted for scams or solicited by 'professionals', and any genuine non-'professional' frustrated women who go there will leave just as fast due to being solicited by men 24-7, used and treated like garbage. So avoid. Plus, if you use any TangoWeb dating sites, realise that you will very likely be targeted by Russian 'sweetheart' scammers as well.

Don't do Circles Club...it's a complete joke.

35notout

She may not be getting as many mails as you think - just be yourself and be friendly! You might find be attractive - others might not

Loxosceles

I always liked guys who had a hobby and included it in their profile picture, like them in the woods after a hike, or right now I'm talking to this guy who is a local dj in Donegal and had a pic of himself in the studio. I see a lot of ego-trip nonsense headlines, with 'I'm gonna rock your world baby' which are annoying to me to say the least but they actually get the attention of either women who like to be dominated and manipulated, or thinking women who will spot it and make fun of you. Chances are you don't want to date a beautiful cabbage or have the p!55 taken out of you so I'd say just be honest, and don't act needy.

"you have quite a lovely picture but I'm more interested in the person who could come up with such a terrific smile" would definitely get attention and is more than adequate in flattery. Don't quote it directly, please, and do try to mean it.

LegacyUser

I'm a woman and have done some internet dating. Here's my best tips:

I was MOST likely to respond to emails that contained the following:

-evidence of the guy's sense of humour..VERY important

-SPECFIC information about him, his personality, interests, physical description..

-signs that he actually read my profile and was responding to something in it which appealed to him with a thoughtful response, not just sending a canned form letter he sends to 100 other women.

-Intelligence, good grammar, spelling, complete sentences..NOT text speak

-sense that the guy was a positive, emotionally healthy, balanced person who leads a full life beyond searching for women online.


I was LEAST likely to respond to emails which contained:
-one liner responses "Do U wanna chat?" without any real info

-Complaining, negativity, stories about previous bad experiences with women, any sign that he is angry at the world

-Bragging about the size of his penis or what he is able to do with it. Pictures of the penis.

-Photos in which he is standing next to a woman with her face smudged or crossed out

-over familiarity...pretending he knows me deeply, psycho analyzing my profile, opening the email with something like "Hi, Sexy." The first email is not the time to discuss sex in graphic detail.

-Photos in which he is posing in front of his posessions (a car, for example)

-Photos which show his children. It was not him having kids I minded, but sending a picture to a complete stranger on the internet. (pets are OK...I have a soft spot for guys with dogs.)

miec

Hi Op

I think what the unregistered poster said was good advice. I would add that you need to know what type of woman you want first of all. I met my partner online and we are engaged and living together so it can work, but I did meet a lot of frogs before that.

I say know the type of woman you want because if you go for just any woman that will come across. So for instance there is no point in going for a sporty woman if you are not into sports, my partner is a real creative type, likes arts etc and that came across in his profile. He wrote a jokey story in the 'perfect date' section which I was attracted to, and this demonstrated he was creative. Also if you see a profile you like ask questions, it shows you read it and you are interested in learning more about her. Judging from your post here on boards I doubt you are the type to use a sexual innuendo headline but if you have get rid of it, if you want a nice woman she won't find that appealing. Treat the e-mails as a conversation face to face, that way you will come across as more authentic and know that there are many frogs out there (or I should say lady frogs in your case) so be careful of yourself too. I hope it works for you and good luck,.

kelle

I notice this thread is 8 months old - I wonder if the OP had any success since we haven't heard from him in all this time????