What to do!!!

LegacyUser

boyfriend was a really lovely guy, couldn't find nicer, alryt looking, bit cheap though and doesnt have his priorities right(in my opinon) so basically we're kind of different people!

Anyway he's not my ideal i would love someone big and protective of me and good looking... anyway who wouldnt!

but anyway in relationship with him for two and half years going around in circles fighting about the same things over and over. recently iv just been going away from it, going away with girlfriends, like we didnt even spend valentines day together he gave me a teddy and card (which he had just rushed into town to get) just before i left and the only reason i left is because he had plans made to go to a really laddy rally thing...

anyway i have never decided to break up with someone before for no reason, i.e. where he did nothing to invoke that response like cheating. anyway ive been thinking about it for ages and finally did it today,i couldnt stress you wouldnt find a nicer guy he is really lovely and he got really upset sayin it was his fault etc... anyway i have three problems:-

1. i feel relieved ive done it but sorry for him at the same time!! i feel really bad!!! is it normal?? plus im relieved?? relieved!! who feels relieved after breaking someones heart!! am i a bitch!!

2. as i said he is really nice but no idea how to treat a girl, im wondering am i being unrealistic hoping for total happiness?? like i was content there i was just a bit bored and wanted some one to sweep me off my feet.. like im a good looking girl and could probably get that if i really wanted it but that guy would prbably be a major ass... am i being stupid letting him go!!??

3. Also now that im single and as i said i fell relieved until i wonder what the **** am i going to do next weekend??? all my girlfriends are in relationships... my college friends aren't but they're not from where im from!! and i couldnt possibly go to them every weekend or they come here!! it be crazy!! so now im feeling a bit lost!!!!

Im just looking for general opinions or advice!!

PirateShampoo

I think your ex is lucky to be rid of you. Maybe now he will find someone who actually loves him for who he is and not just using him has a filler intill something better comes along.

Sephiroth_dude

Well from reading your post I think you did him a favour by breaking up with him,sounds to me you were'nt excactly mad about him.

cantdecide

You're both entitled to be happy. You've broken up because neither of you were giving teh other what you needed.

Give some thought to what you require from a partner and move on.

MagicMarker

Unregistered wrote: »

am i a bitch!!

Honestly? It sounds like you are. Not for breaking up with someone, but because you're so completely self involved about it all.

You were with a guy for 2.5 years who you quite clearly didn't give a fúck about, and now that you've broken up with him to find someone better looking, your only real concern is what you're going to do next weekend!?!?!?!:mad:

You did this guy a massive favour tbh. He's much better off without someone so callous.

LegacyUser

WTF?? what's with all the harsh responses?

Every day you see people posting here saying to go find happiness, don't settle for less, find someone who wants the same things as you. Yet here someone does it, is decent enough to feel bad about breaking his heart, and immediately you jump on her for being "self-involved." the girl just did what many people posting on this board have been advising others to do- think about yourself and what makes you happy. what exactly was her crime? she realised she didnt love him and did something about it....would it have been better to fake it? Your not a b1tch, and don't let others tell you different. You can't force yourself to love someone, you did the right thing to end it when you knew you weren't happy with him. I don't know if you'll find the "right" guy but at least you did right by your ex in ending it rather than dragging it out longer. It's normal to feel a bit lost regarding social plans after a break up....read other posts about break ups and you'll find most people miss having someone around to share weekends with. Just because your not distraught doesnt make that need any less.

dudara

I think that your relationship may have gone on for too long, but you've definitely taken steps in the right direction by ending it.

Of course you're going to feel a little lost now. You used to spend lots of time with your boyfriend, which isn't going to happen anymore. You will need to find other activities to fill your time.

Hopefully, having some time to yourself will help you think about who you are and who you would like to meet.

Nitxteha

do you love him?

degrassinoel

ye did say you were looking for opinions and advice, if i were you, i probably would have done the same thing, let it go on for far too long, then finally pluck up the courage to do the right thing.

thats the relief part right there, its not relief of being rid of your fellah, its the relief of having the guts to do something right for both of you.

you're not stupid, you seem to leave things to lie for too long, did ye never talk with this guy about wanting to be swept off your feet and so on?

you're feeling lost because you're not used to being on your own/single.

Here's the advice, take a few weeks off, sort out your own feelings and find out exactly what it is you want from a relationship besides a big hairy bloke who sweeps people off their feet, there has to be some deeper qualities to a partner than just looks or it will fall on its face again and again, which is obviously what's happened with this relationship.

Anyway, tried very hard not be harsh, as your OP kind of makes you out to be a bitch wether you realise it or not.

Take some You-time, be with your mates, find someone you can relate to and talk to them about it.
If they dont wanna hear about your strife, they aint mates.
And right now you need a friend's ear more than you need anything else.

Sparks43

for him gl

for you deserve what you end up with :mad:

tangerinepuppet

How do you know you 'broke his heart'? Did he say that? You seem to have an elevated sense of your own power. Maybe you are more dependent that he is - it's a bit sad that you don't know how to entertain yourself for one weekend.

You did the right thing for both of you by letting him go. I agree with other posters that for now you should just take some down time and learn to like your own company instead of being in a rush to be 'swept off your feet'. That would be giving somebody you've never met the power for your happiness, and there's a possibility that it just might never happen! Just concentrate on your family and being a nice person, by yourself.

Wibbs

Unregistered wrote: »

WTF?? what's with all the harsh responses?

Every day you see people posting here saying to go find happiness, don't settle for less, find someone who wants the same things as you. Yet here someone does it, is decent enough to feel bad about breaking his heart, and immediately you jump on her for being "self-involved." the girl just did what many people posting on this board have been advising others to do- think about yourself and what makes you happy. what exactly was her crime? she realised she didnt love him and did something about it....would it have been better to fake it? Your not a b1tch, and don't let others tell you different. You can't force yourself to love someone, you did the right thing to end it when you knew you weren't happy with him. I don't know if you'll find the "right" guy but at least you did right by your ex in ending it rather than dragging it out longer. It's normal to feel a bit lost regarding social plans after a break up....read other posts about break ups and you'll find most people miss having someone around to share weekends with. Just because your not distraught doesnt make that need any less.

I would agree with this. It didn't sound like much of a relationship. Then again that's your side of it and of course there are always two sides. Regardless it was better you called it a day. The only thing I would call you on, is the length of time you took to come to this conclusion. In future don't wait so long and if it's clearly not working let them go.

RossFixxxed

I hope his next gf is a lot nicer than you. That is so self absorbed its unreal. I wish him the best, you may need to grow up a LOT for a future relationship.

On you issue, let him go and move on.

R

biko

Unregistered wrote: »

Also now that im single and as i said i fell relieved until i wonder what the **** am i going to do next weekend??? all my girlfriends are in relationships... my college friends aren't but they're not from where im from!! and i couldnt possibly go to them every weekend or they come here!! it be crazy!! so now im feeling a bit lost!!!!

Im just looking for general opinions or advice!!

First advice, stop overdoing exclamation marks. It really bugs everyone.
Second, look in the regional forum for the town you're in and see what activities there you'd like to do.
Third, stop feeling sorry for yourself. As D.H. Lawrence said: "I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself".

LegacyUser

i wasnt using him as a filler until something better came along we were unreal great when we weren't arguing.. i do love him and miss him and i am struggling with my decision and i wanted to be with him while i was with him and i still do i just meant he wasnt what i had in mind when i wouldve thought of my future but it doesnt even bother me much just now that i find myself without him and looking to the future i was questioning whether my 'ideal' i.e. what i was thinking i should be striving for, was a stupid dream and did i have it all... maybe i am being self absorbed but i am sorry that i hurt him, or maybe i didnt hurt him like someone suggested maybe i just thought i did.

Anyway i think i was misunderstood in what i meant.. next weekend was the first thing that came to mind it was in reference to the future not just simply next weekend.

and yes i do love him and the reason i broke up with him was because i thought it would be easier for us because i thought maybe it was my fault we were going in circles because of the way i was thinking above. i amn't looking for just them shallow qualities i am looking for personality also and most importantly so. thats what i was asking if i was silly in looking for this did i have it all, i was questioning if i was being stupid...

maybe i just didnt convey it properly or maybe i am just a self absorbed bitch i dont know.

tangerinepuppet

Okay, with the limited knowledge I have from your two posts, I think

a) The relationship had run its course.
b) You might have felt less guilty and more ready to accept that if he had been the dumper instead of the dumpee.
c) Habits are hard to break, but things could get messy if you don't keep your distance (apart from basic friendliness and courtesy). You obviously have positive feelings towards him, and good endings make good beginnings. It's a clean break and I wouldn't jeopardise your friendship by getting back with him only to end it again.
d) You say he had no idea how to treat a girl, but maybe you were taking each other for granted because you're not right for each other.

That's my two cents.