Recession - Can't Cope -advice needed

sinking fast

Hi,
Don't know if i'm on the right forum for this, so apologies if i'm not. I know everyone is sick to death of hearing about the recession and the impact its having on the whole country. But I'm in real trouble here and don't know what to do or where to turn. So I would really appreciate any advice that may help.

I am a single parent of two teenage children. And have worked all my life since leaving school. I never looked for handouts. But I don't get maintenance payments from the father, he has left the country. But i got the house instead. My problem is like many thousands of other's i lost my job at Christmas. got 3k in redundancy which is now almost gone -spent on mortgage/bills/food/kids etc. I don't have payment protection on my mortgage (thought i had, but it doesn't cover redundancy) I get 242€ lone parents allowance pw for myself and kids, my mortgage is €1029pm and home improvemnt loan is 200€pm. I don't qualify for mortgage assistance from Community Welfare on grounds that I shouldn't have qualified in first place for this loan on grounds of earnings but was given it anyway(had no choice to take it in order to literally keep the roof over my childrens head) you do what you have to do to survive, it was manageable at time and company i worked for was and still is going very well, I was singled out for redundancy unfairly so have commenced a case for unfair dismissal, but have no guarentee I will win but was very badly treated so on principal they need to be held accountable. My problem is I can't survive now - I am literally circuling the drain, and sinking fast. I can't sleep/eat and am waking up in sweats as i feel i am about to lose everything. I have applied for 24jobs since christmas and have had only two responses telling me politely to PFO.

Is it even worth going to MABS given that I don't have anything to offer bank in first place without taking food electricty/heat from my children? I'm with EBS and they don't offer "holiday" on mortgage. I feel i have tried everything i can think of and getting nowhere. This is really infuriating given that instead of bleeding the system for welfare payments I worked and paid taxes like everyone else, but now when I am in serious trouble I can't get any help?? I have even considered selling my home but there is nothing selling in my area. Have considered handing keys to bank manager and emigrating but where do i go? i'm 40yr old secretary and too old for Aus.

For first time in my life i feel there is no hope, no way out. and am at an all time low, feel i've failed my children and they would be better off without me.

I'm not looking for sympathy/nor do i need the "tough" get over it" rants, but would really really appreciate some help or advice? I know i'm not alone in this and there are others a lot worse off than me but after spending wks of sleepless nights and freaking out its starting to really affect me. What's more worrying is we are only in the commencement of this recession, and its going to get a whole lot worse from what i read. What's one to do? surely there is some hope? Since i can't get full-time work, should i try partime and claim FIS? what would that earn me?

Please help, any advice would be very much appreciated, as right now a bottle of vodka and the cliffs of moher are looking more and more the only way out of this., (I don't say that lightly but can't see the woods for the trees)

thanks
Worried sick

sinking fast

anyone?

Hogzy

id say you might be better off posting in the Personal issues forum, i see that your new so go to the top of your screen where the forums are listed, go to "soc" and scroll down to Personal issues, it may get a better response!

sinking fast

mikemac wrote: »

www.mabs.ie

And ease up on the drama

there was no drama intended, believe me, obviously you've no idea what its like

Dampsquid

+1 for MABS

sinking fast

Hogzy wrote: »

id say you might be better off posting in the Personal issues forum, i see that your new so go to the top of your screen where the forums are listed, go to "soc" and scroll down to Personal issues, it may get a better response!

thanks for that - have posted there.
best regards

Einstein

I too agree this belongs in PI, but most importantly, the first thing you have to get out of your head...

sinking fast wrote: »

...feel i've failed my children and they would be better off without me...

This isn't true. Everybody is fair game job wise, money wise and problems wise when it comes to "The recession"...don't beat yourself up over it, and try not thinking ahead so much, sometimes the only way to keep going is deal with one day at a time...

head up! 90% of us are feeling the pinch, so take some comfort knowing that you're not alone!

pseudonym1

Contact Mabs and they will give you all the direction they can. Your chidren are health and alive ,right?

Am sure you have had difficulties before so try and remain rational and strong.

Best of luck

MonicaBing

mikemac wrote: »

www.mabs.ie

And ease up on the drama

Oh how i lol'd with sarcasm when i read your inciteful, extremely helpful post.
Put yourself in her shoes why dont ya? Hmm, no? Right of course that would mean taking a trip to the real world. :mad::mad:

Drama? Did you not read her post?

sinking fast

pseudonym1 wrote: »

Contact Mabs and they will give you all the direction they can. Your chidren are health and alive ,right?

Am sure you have had difficulties before so try and remain rational and strong.

Best of luck

to both yourself and "Einstein" - THANK YOU for your words of encouragement. and your right we are healthy (well, except for their mom freaking out and panicing i guess) but thanks - it's hard when your alone with no family around to discuss things rationally. thank you both

MonicaBing

You could have simply given the link and left it at that. Instead you belittled her heartfelt post by telling her to cut the drama?

Do you have any idea how incredibly hard on her it must have been to post that query?

She's not sixteen and after breaking up with her first boyfriend. She's quite possibly going to lose EVERYTHING she's probably broke her ass working for.

Fair enough by the rules she should have posted in PI, but it was also only her 4th time posting on boards.

sinking fast

MonicaBing wrote: »

Oh how i lol'd with sarcasm when i read your inciteful, extremely helpful post.
Put yourself in her shoes why dont ya? Hmm, no? Right of course that would mean taking a trip to the real world. :mad::mad:

Drama? Did you not read her post?

Dear Monica,
thank you, i certainly wasn't trying to be a drama queen - truly in need of "some sort of hope" - i'm scared stiff

MonicaBing

Sinking, if Mabs are ass good as they are in my town, (they've helped loads peeps in last few months), There should be hope on the horizon. They are excellent at dealing with such issues and u should be luckier than most as it doesn't say anywhere in your post that your in debt? Maybe you are i dunno... but ring them first thing tomorrow and make and appointment at least that way, you'll know your options and you'll have someone on your side.

Also is there any one in your family that might be able to help out?
Can u maybe rent a room in your house out?

Please keep in touch and let me know how you fare out girl
Fingers and toes x'd for you

Highsider

mikemac wrote: »

I gave a useful link

When the OP starts mentioning Cliffs of Moher, vodka and leaving her children, it's serious and I agree this belongs in personal issues.

Silly childish thing to say to someone who is obviously in a terrible place. Shame on you.

holly1

MABS is ment to be very good and understanding,so PLEASE ring them first thing in the morning,there is always ways around these things.Please keep the chin up esp for your two children.

sinking fast

MonicaBing wrote: »

Sinking, if Mabs are ass good as they are in my town, (they've helped loads peeps in last few months), There should be hope on the horizon. They are excellent at dealing with such issues and u should be luckier than most as it doesn't say anywhere in your post that your in debt? Maybe you are i dunno... but ring them first thing tomorrow and make and appointment at least that way, you'll know your options and you'll have someone on your side.

Also is there any one in your family that might be able to help out?
Can u maybe rent a room in your house out?

Please keep in touch and let me know how you fare out girl
Fingers and toes x'd for you

no, so far i have managed to keep on top of all my debts, well till the next ones come in the letterbox. was very careful with funds. Will definately go to MABS in the morning. Have room advertised but am miles from any industrial estates or colleges - there are 100's advertised closer for ppl looking to rent.

don't have family around - my mum is hospitised (has suffered stroke over christmas and doesn't work - she's a pensioner so has nothing to offer nor could i burden her with this given her circumstances.

thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my post - nothing worse than going it alone thinking the worst.

jackbauer

MABS are your first port of call. Don't delay phone them and make an appointment. Tell them it is urgent. Also try VDP. Ignore the moron posts above. I've been down a similar road and MABS saved my life literally!

sinking fast

jackbauer wrote: »

MABS are your first port of call. Don't delay phone them and make an appointment. Tell them it is urgent. Also try VDP. Ignore the moron posts above. I've been down a similar road and MABS saved my life literally!

Dear Jack,
who are VDP? will try anything at this stage. As for the moron post earlier, the likes of someone like that don't matter to me right now - i hope he never ever has to go down this road, and god forbid if he does, i hope when he looks for help he finds someone more helpful than he was. but what goes around....

jackbauer

http://www.svp.ie/Home.aspx

holly1

Vincent de Paul, I think.
By the way,the very best of luck to you,I think everything will work out for you.

sinking fast

holly1 wrote: »

Vincent de Paul, I think.
By the way,the very best of luck to you,I think everything will work out for you.

thanks Holly/Jack & Monicabing,
It's people like you that restore my faith in humanity, will let you know how i fare out, i have worked my ass off all my life and supported two kids alone, i am not prepared to lose it all without a fight

IsThatSo?

OMG, that is such a stressful situation OP.

Consider the following:

Mabs, as already advised.

FIS
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/social-welfare/social-welfare-payments/social-welfare-payments-to-families-and-children/family_income_supplement

Medical card
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/health/entitlement-to-health-services/medical_card

Back to school allowance (for when the time comes)
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/education/primary-and-post-primary-education/educational-supports/school_books_scheme

On top of the lone parents allowance you should be able to apply for jobseekers, I assume you havce applied already.

Maybe have a look at the info on the fuel allowance also (you never know):
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/social-welfare/social-welfare-payments/extra-social-welfare-benefits/fuel_allowance

Don't give up on the mortgage assistance, can you appeal the decision? SW/CWO are not bankers and should not be telling you that you were not entitled to that size loan:mad: BTW, while a €1k mortgage is not small to you at the moment, its a good but under the average mortgage repayment, so dunno what they think they are at refusing you on those grounds. No bank was going to give you that loan unless they thought you could repay it.

If I think of anything else I will post it. Please let us know how you get on.

sinking fast

IsThatSo? wrote: »

OMG, that is such a stressful situation OP.

Consider the following:

Mabs, as already advised.

FIS
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/social-welfare/social-welfare-payments/social-welfare-payments-to-families-and-children/family_income_supplement

Medical card
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/health/entitlement-to-health-services/medical_card

Back to school allowance (for when the time comes)
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/education/primary-and-post-primary-education/educational-supports/school_books_scheme

On top of the lone parents allowance you should be able to apply for jobseekers, I assume you havce applied already.

Maybe have a look at the info on the fuel allowance also (you never know):
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/social-welfare/social-welfare-payments/extra-social-welfare-benefits/fuel_allowance

Don't give up on the mortgage assistance, can you appeal the decision? SW/CWO are not bankers and should not be telling you that you were not entitled to that size loan:mad: BTW, while a €1k mortgage is not small to you at the moment, its a good but under the average mortgage repayment, so dunno what they think they are at refusing you on those grounds. No bank was going to give you that loan unless they thought you could repay it.

If I think of anything else I will post it. Please let us know how you get on.

I didn't realise you could get Job Seekers on top of Lone Parents allowance? - am getting the fuel allowance & medical card.

The CWO was terrible - was completely unsympathetic and unhelpful. Was lucky to get the medical card off him.

Stress Levels are at an all time high and panic has set in big time

pseudonym1

sinking fast wrote: »

i have worked my ass off all my life and supported two kids alone, i am not prepared to lose it all without a fight

Good to hear that!

CWO s can be tricky people and often need to be dealt with in a certain manner - firstly you need to know everything before you visit them and ensure you are prepared for any questions/statements they may present. This is easy enough to find out from CA.
Sending all my hope and best wishes your way-best of luck.

Select name

pseudonym1 wrote: »

Good to hear that!

CWO s can be tricky people and often need to be dealt with in a certain manner - firstly you need to know everything before you visit them and ensure you are prepared for any questions/statements they may present. This is easy enough to find out from CA.
Sending all my hope and best wishes your way-best of luck.

thank you so much for that - yes, i will have to be better prepared when i face them again - he more or less made me feel as if i did this myself and who did i think i was asking for help now. I'm not joking. But i was so upset i didn't stand up for myself either.

thanks for your help

sinking fast

pseudonym1 wrote: »

Good to hear that!

CWO s can be tricky people and often need to be dealt with in a certain manner - firstly you need to know everything before you visit them and ensure you are prepared for any questions/statements they may present. This is easy enough to find out from CA.
Sending all my hope and best wishes your way-best of luck.

Thank you all for your help and advise - will definately be trying all suggestions
best regards to all

dixiefly

How are you getting on? Any progress?

Armin_Tamzarian

Hi-
I was saddened to read your post and I'm very sorry that you find yourself in this situation.
Unfortunately I'm sure that you're not the only one.

I'm afraid that any 'advice' that I may offer would be quite useless but I'll continue.

You said that your bank doesn't offer "mortgage holidays".
If you haven't gone in and spoken to someone at your bank then do so immediately.
Compromises can be reached.
If you've got no money, you've got no money.

I don't like to use the word repossesion but rest assured that it would take a long time before you would begin to get near to that stage.
It's certainly not a case that banks aggresively repossess homes over a few months missed mortgage payments.

I wouldn't begin to compare my own experiences to your own but I've been down on my luck financially in the past.
All I can say is concentrate on the immediately critical expenses, food,
heat, electric, etc.
Everything else can wait.
Bills can be put off for a long time if that's what the situation demands.

If you can't pay these bills, just put them out of your head for now.
You can't do anything for now so it's pointless adding to your worries.
You have a mortgage, don't worry about getting a tainted credit rating,
it's no big deal in the bigger picture.

Finally, I know it's easy to say but try to be positive and stop wrecking yourself with worry.
It's a very hard thing to do but forcing yourself to stop worrying about things that you can't change is the best thing you could do.
Personally speaking I've found that my luck has always changed when I've managed to turn myself around mentally, drag myself out of the metaphorical gutter and face life with some renewed will power.

Again, I'm really sorry for your predicament and I hope things get better for you.
Feel free to message me anytime if you just want someone to chat to...

-All the best...

Ticktactoe

You seem like a very sensible lady with her head on her shoulders and I am sure that you will survive this especially with all the links and advise left by previous posters.
Keep strong and keep posting as people most people here will give any advice that they can to help

sinking fast

dixiefly wrote: »

How are you getting on? Any progress?

Ticktactoe wrote: »

You seem like a very sensible lady with her head on her shoulders and I am sure that you will survive this especially with all the links and advise left by previous posters.
Keep strong and keep posting as people most people here will give any advice that they can to help

Hi,
Thanks to you all for your words of support this thread is also on Personal Issues - (was advised to move there 1st day as I was on wrong forum, it was my first ever time posting here) the response has been massive. And again, very helpful. But I have to mention one person on Boards was following the thread and went above and beyond anything i expected or even dreamed of when i posted here - sent me a cheque to cover one months mortgage... I just can't believe it.. He want's to remain nameless, so i will respect his wishes, but cannot thank him enough. I just can't believe that there are so many good people out there, it truly is very humbling. THANK YOU SO MUCH for giving me breathing space-I will repay you if i ever get back on my feet

Sorry haven't updated sooner - but received another devasting blow - my mum has just been diagnosed with breast cancer on top of suffering a stroke recently - so finding it very hard to keep it together & the emotions at bay - (keep breaking down in floods of tears to be honest) feel's like my whole world is crashing down - it's feel's like in in quicksand and can't get out - if it isn't one thing going very wrong it's another, if and when mum is released she will need 24hr care - I was hoping to care for her - but way i'm going won't have a home to offer her by looks of things.. but i'm doing my best to try everything. While praying for a miracle

I have taken onboard & actioned all the suggestions given so far..

1) I have made appointment with MABS - meeting next week - have done up my budget so this will save time at meeting - and hopefully work on an action plan with bank. - have written to them myself explaining my situation - but haven't heard anything back, yet. - have nothing to offer them except 100€ pm - which i think they probably think is a joke.

2) have met with Citizen's advice and explained everything to them - they were very helpful - and still think that MABS will negotiate with the bank. they did tell me all i should be applying for - but waiting time for claims to be processed is massive so i'm in for a wait.

3) have contacted St. Vincent DePaul also - but have not had response - they said it takes about a week - so will have to ring back.

4) Have sent my CV everywhere - including looking for even summer work - haven't had one response as yet.

5) Contacted my local TD's in the area about doing something about my claim for Mortgage Suppliment being refused - and they both said "they would have no influence here" the CWO has to follow protocol and they could not intervene - That possibly MABS can talk to them again. I asked them could they intervene when i'm homeless and looking for a council house? this didn't go down to well i think. No doubt They know where not to call when looking for votes..

6) I am also seriously thinking of trying to do secretarial work from home - and trying to do a web page and think of how to design/promote etc.. but have absolutely no experience in marketing etc.. so am struggling with how to go about this. head is all over the place. "CeilingCat" has been very helpful so far on this also - thank you! (pls bare with me till i get my head together)

7) Tickatoe has been trying to help with any tax i can try to claim back - and again thank you. (tax man isn't so easy to get the cash out of!) - he was quick enough to take it off me tho.

Well that's the story so far - not much progress as in things getting sorted yet, but wheels in motion i hope.

Again - I can't thank everyone enough for all the helpful suggesions - if anyone can think of anymore pls feel free to post..

thanks to all you are in my prayers xx

shoppergal

sinking fast wrote: »

Hi,
But I have to mention one person on Boards was following the thread and went above and beyond anything i expected or even dreamed of when i posted here - sent me a cheque to cover one months mortgage... I just can't believe it.. He want's to remain nameless, so i will respect his wishes, but cannot thank him enough. I just can't believe that there are so many good people out there, it truly is very humbling. THANK YOU SO MUCH for giving me breathing space-I will repay you if i ever get back on my feet

I don't have anything new to add but just wanted to say that things like this restore my faith in humanity.

I'm really sorry to hear about your mom. I'm sure it's so hard trying to cope with that on top of everything else. I couldn't see on your thread if you'd gone into the bank to speak with them. I definitely would. My partner rang our mortgage provider recently to go interest only on our mortgage as he is unemployed. They wouldn't let us go interest only as we are in negative equity but said pay what we can for the next couple of months. Thankfully we're managing for now but it's good to know there's a bit of flexibility there.

Best of luck, I hope you manage to get everything sorted.

MonicaBing

Hey girl, thats amazing to hear! Im so chuffed you got some breathing space, now send a bit of that positivity over to Personal Issues as there's a poster there, cmaria, and her post is entitled, i cant do this anymore....,
She's in a similar situation to you only with her local council..you might be able to boost her as she's a good few steps behind you in seeing a way out.
Again im delighted for you:)

Tony Broke

Someone on boards sent you over €1000 :eek:

\starts writing a killer sob story

sinking fast

Tony Broke wrote: »

Someone on boards sent you over €1000 :eek:

\starts writing a killer sob story

Tony,
my situation is very serious - i really do hope that boards is would not be inundated with ppl making up sob stories -It certainly wasn't my intention when i posted my plea for help. I would not wish my situation on anyone - i am scared stiff of what's going to become of my family. - i wrote my thread in desparation because i really had nowhere to turn and felt/feel like i'm in quicksand. i was just extremely lucky that someone showed compassion and felt they could do something to help me. I am truly grateful to the person that made that donation and just wanted to share my story so far. I mentioned the donation because i was overwhelmed at the fact that I have never been shown such kindness, and wanted to share the fact that there are decent people out there that do show/have compassion.

Armin_Tamzarian

sinking fast wrote: »

But I have to mention one person on Boards was following the thread and went above and beyond anything i expected or even dreamed of when i posted here - sent me a cheque to cover one months mortgage... I just can't believe it.. He want's to remain nameless, so i will respect his wishes, but cannot thank him enough.

What a class act, fair play to him...

holly1

Great to hear from you again sinkingfast,Im so sorry to hear about your Mam,I hope she improves.You seem to be getting places and I am so glad it takes some pressure off you.There is some very very good people out there(1000 euro),Im sure that has been a major weight off your shoulders.Keep going and keep in touch.I also noticed you took time to talk to cmaria,thanks.

sinking fast

Armin_Tamzarian wrote: »

What a class act, fair play to him...

he sure is - i wish i could give him the recognition he deserves but being a true gentleman will not take the praise..

holly1 wrote: »

Great to hear from you again sinkingfast,Im so sorry to hear about your Mam,I hope she improves.You seem to be getting places and I am so glad it takes some pressure off you.There is some very very good people out there(1000 euro),Im sure that has been a major weight off your shoulders.Keep going and keep in touch.I also noticed you took time to talk to cmaria,thanks.

yes, it takes the pressure off for this month's mortgage - i just pray to god i can sort somthing out for next month. i hope the bank will help me out - i can't lose my home. My mam getting diagnosed with this is devastating, feels too much to bare. I can't get my head round everything but I'm trying to be strong for all our sakes. can't let the kids see me falling apart - they're doing mocks and i don't want to upset them.

I dunno if me contacting cmaria will be of any help to her, but i felt i must say somthing, because i know when i first posted that thread i thought i was only one going through this. I really was in a very dark and scary place - and I'm still not out of the woods and worried sick but least now i'm doing something.. hopefully in a few weeks it'll be a happier picture. fingers crossed. Surely to god, this government is not going to let 100's of families like me be turfed out?? - there has to be something done?? You what really maddens me is that they help the banks but won't help the families? The likes of the music industry etc not paying taxes with their millions and the one's that did pay taxes etc are getting screwed now? that's criminal in my book.

holly1

I agree 100%,its not very balanced,is it.

eeloe

Mabs will sort you out, im sure of it!

The bank won't reposess your home, they are in a bad situation also!

the 1 months mortgage payment you recieved from a boards member, break it down in to 4!

give your mortgage company 250 a month for the next 4 months!
Don't worry about having a bad credit rating, you already have your house, so what will you ever need a loan for again?

sinking fast

eeloe wrote: »

Mabs will sort you out, im sure of it!

The bank won't reposess your home, they are in a bad situation also!

the 1 months mortgage payment you recieved from a boards member, break it down in to 4!

give your mortgage company 250 a month for the next 4 months!
Don't worry about having a bad credit rating, you already have your house, so what will you ever need a loan for again?

jeez didn't even think of that - time cheque clears the bank will be taking this months mortgage. (same day)..

DeVore

Heya ... look I dont have much to add here except, on my gym wall is a slogan that says "tough times dont last, tough people do".

Also for some more pragmatic advice and perhaps some hope: I used to work for just about every bank in the business at one time or another. Let me tell you one thing for sure.... so long as you are offering some form of payment (even something as low as 20% of your mortage) and you can show a judge that that is really all you can afford, there isnt a court in this country is going to eject you from your house, no matter what sort of scare stories the banks tell you. Its just not ever going to happen.

Believe me in this climate do you think they would rather have your house worth something like 250k now? or a debt which are you actually committed to paying worth 350k? (numbers are for example).

Trust me, they are the ones who should be sh*tting themselves....

DeV.

Keylost

sinking fast wrote: »

Hi,
Don't know if i'm on the right forum for this, so apologies if i'm not. I know everyone is sick to death of hearing about the recession and the impact its having on the whole country. But I'm in real trouble here and don't know what to do or where to turn. So I would really appreciate any advice that may help.

I am a single parent of two teenage children. And have worked all my life since leaving school. I never looked for handouts. But I don't get maintenance payments from the father, he has left the country. But i got the house instead. My problem is like many thousands of other's i lost my job at Christmas. got 3k in redundancy which is now almost gone -spent on mortgage/bills/food/kids etc. I don't have payment protection on my mortgage (thought i had, but it doesn't cover redundancy) I get 242€ lone parents allowance pw for myself and kids, my mortgage is €1029pm and home improvemnt loan is 200€pm. I don't qualify for mortgage assistance from Community Welfare on grounds that I shouldn't have qualified in first place for this loan on grounds of earnings but was given it anyway(had no choice to take it in order to literally keep the roof over my childrens head) you do what you have to do to survive, it was manageable at time and company i worked for was and still is going very well, I was singled out for redundancy unfairly so have commenced a case for unfair dismissal, but have no guarentee I will win but was very badly treated so on principal they need to be held accountable. My problem is I can't survive now - I am literally circuling the drain, and sinking fast. I can't sleep/eat and am waking up in sweats as i feel i am about to lose everything. I have applied for 24jobs since christmas and have had only two responses telling me politely to PFO.

Is it even worth going to MABS given that I don't have anything to offer bank in first place without taking food electricty/heat from my children? I'm with EBS and they don't offer "holiday" on mortgage. I feel i have tried everything i can think of and getting nowhere. This is really infuriating given that instead of bleeding the system for welfare payments I worked and paid taxes like everyone else, but now when I am in serious trouble I can't get any help?? I have even considered selling my home but there is nothing selling in my area. Have considered handing keys to bank manager and emigrating but where do i go? i'm 40yr old secretary and too old for Aus.

For first time in my life i feel there is no hope, no way out. and am at an all time low, feel i've failed my children and they would be better off without me.

I'm not looking for sympathy/nor do i need the "tough" get over it" rants, but would really really appreciate some help or advice? I know i'm not alone in this and there are others a lot worse off than me but after spending wks of sleepless nights and freaking out its starting to really affect me. What's more worrying is we are only in the commencement of this recession, and its going to get a whole lot worse from what i read. What's one to do? surely there is some hope? Since i can't get full-time work, should i try partime and claim FIS? what would that earn me?

Please help, any advice would be very much appreciated, as right now a bottle of vodka and the cliffs of moher are looking more and more the only way out of this., (I don't say that lightly but can't see the woods for the trees)

thanks
Worried sick

Hi there Richie Beirne here from The Business on RTE RADIO 1. I was very moved by your story and would like to talk with you if you were up for that. We are trying to find people who are out of work or trying to find work but we want to try and help people as much as possible to put them on the right road.
We are unsure as yet how we are going to proceed as it depends on the reaction to the show. I totally understand if you don't feel conmfortable talking to me and I hope I haven't intruded on your privacy. Best Wishes Richie.

dixiefly

How are u getting on, any improvements in your situation?

Dub13

Have you taught about renting a room out in your house,or getting in some Spanish students when they come over..?It could earn you a few bob.

sinking fast

dixiefly wrote: »

How are u getting on, any improvements in your situation?

Hi,
i'm afraid nothing's changed really, i'm still trying my best to stay positive and keep the chin up, but still getting ignored by bank, they haven't acknowledged any of my correspondence's - or returned my call's....It's really frustrating now - you hear the politicians arguing how best to fight this recession, and make out we are all in it together? and the banks say they will do all they can to help?? from what i've seen so far that is the greatest lie yet.. none of them want to know. And as if it wasn't bad enough this new budget on 7th April is going to make things a whole lot worse.

sent out loads of CV's etc and getting nothing back.. yet.. but still hoping something good will happen.

Dub13 wrote: »

Have you taught about renting a room out in your house,or getting in some Spanish students when they come over..?It could earn you a few bob.

I have a room advertised but don't think feasible, as it's not really close to colleges or industrial estates - there are 100's advertised closer to these amenities

colrow

Hi, I was very moved by your story, I've been there as a single parent with 3 kids and its no fun, that was a long time ago now and things turned out much better, you never know whats around the corner.

3 years ago I was very ill and the cw financial officer was an officious little b, I appealed his decison, and a lady from the CAB accompanied me to speak for me at the appeal, and the decison was reversed. The appeal tribunal was a very relaxed affair and I was listened to fairly, and having the lady from the citizens advice made what i thought would be a nerve racking experience much better.

So I would urge you to appeal, you have nothing to lose at all, and maybe something to gain, go for it.

God Bless

Heineken Helen

sinking fast wrote: »

Hi,
i'm afraid nothing's changed really, i'm still trying my best to stay positive and keep the chin up, but still getting ignored by bank, they haven't acknowledged any of my correspondence's - or returned my call's....It's really frustrating now - you hear the politicians arguing how best to fight this recession, and make out we are all in it together? and the banks say they will do all they can to help?? from what i've seen so far that is the greatest lie yet.. none of them want to know. And as if it wasn't bad enough this new budget on 7th April is going to make things a whole lot worse.

sent out loads of CV's etc and getting nothing back.. yet.. but still hoping something good will happen.



I have a room advertised but don't think feasible, as it's not really close to colleges or industrial estates - there are 100's advertised closer to these amenities

Hey, just keep the head up you're doing everything right and already had some good luck... so perhaps it will continue. What an angel who helped you out... really put a smile on my face.

There are always other people like the local priest and other charities to turn to. Even if you're not religious, I'm betting a priest might be one of the best people to talk to and to have on your side.

MonicaBing

Hi sinking, glad to hear of an update from you. Things will work out for you girl, like the previous poster said you've already had some luck and that will only attract more for you! Do you remember me asking you contact cmaria some time back as she was in a bad place at time too? Well ive been in contact with her on/off since then & she's in a much worse off state since, so chin up you, stare the **** straight in the eye and you'll overcome it.

Its not a consolation but there is much worse than all of us out there.

sinking fast

colrow wrote: »

So I would urge you to appeal, you have nothing to lose at all, and maybe something to gain, go for it.

God Bless

Hi
thanks for your advice - i've been to MABS and they are going to try to see can they help with the CWO, he has tried in the past for other ppl but has said they are very tough these day's and it's very hard to get decisions reversed.

Heineken Helen wrote: »

Hey, just keep the head up you're doing everything right and already had some good luck... so perhaps it will continue. What an angel who helped you out... really put a smile on my face.

There are always other people like the local priest and other charities to turn to. Even if you're not religious, I'm betting a priest might be one of the best people to talk to and to have on your side.

Yes, the person that made the donation is truly very generous and kind person, I am very grateful to him for his kindness, and hope someday to repay him.

I'm not very religious in the Catholic sense, my faith in our local clergy was destroyed two yrs ago when there was a fatal road crash nearby and he refused to give last rites to the victim, I don't know why, but he just walked over, looked, and turned and walked away... never uttered a word. Sounds unbelievable, but it’s the truth. So if he cannot fulfill his duty at a time like that.. then i doubt very much he'd help me.

MonicaBing wrote: »

Hi sinking, glad to hear of an update from you. Things will work out for you girl, like the previous poster said you've already had some luck and that will only attract more for you! Do you remember me asking you contact cmaria some time back as she was in a bad place at time too? Well ive been in contact with her on/off since then & she's in a much worse off state since, so chin up you, stare the **** straight in the eye and you'll overcome it.

Its not a consolation but there is much worse than all of us out there.

I'm genuinely sorry to hear things are getting worse for cmaria, I really do hope things will improve for her.

I know there are 100's out there a lot worse off than me, and i thank god everyday for all that i do have in my life.. my two beautiful kids, our health, the home we have etc.. And I'm trying to stay positive for their sakes, after all I'm their mum, and supposed to make everything ok? - I remain hopeful things will improve, but it's very tough, especially when your alone, and keep getting knocked back. before this I used to think when your back is to the wall, come out fighting...I was a very optimistic person, great sense of humour, I used to believe that if your a decent person, work hard, and treat everyone with respect that everything would be ok, - it came naturally to me... now its a struggle not to get bitter and resentful.. not a nice feeling. But who know's what's around the corner

Thank you all for taking time to read and respond to my thread, your words of encouragement support have helped so much, thank you

Heineken Helen

sinking fast wrote: »

Yes, the person that made the donation is truly very generous and kind person, I am very grateful to him for his kindness, and hope someday to repay him.

I'm not very religious in the Catholic sense, my faith in our local clergy was destroyed two yrs ago when there was a fatal road crash nearby and he refused to give last rites to the victim, I don't know why, but he just walked over, looked, and turned and walked away... never uttered a word. Sounds unbelievable, but it’s the truth. So if he cannot fulfill his duty at a time like that.. then i doubt very much he'd help me.

Oh I don't mean to start going back to mass or anything lol, I'm not very religious myself... but if I were ever in trouble, one of the first people I'd ask for help would be a priest. They have all sorts of contacts and knowledge of how to use and approach them . It's just one more option you have if you need it.

I don't know much about last rites but that does sound pretty strange!