I think I'm a bit "bad" at sex...

LegacyUser

well, not all sex, but woman on top sex. When I do this with my boyfriend he doesn't seem to enjoy it a lot in that it takes him much longer to orgasm. What am I doing wrong?

Have to get kind of graphic here: when the woman is on top, should the motion she is doing be more vertical like up and down or should it be more horizontal (paralel to the bed????) I know I sound like an idiot so don't flame. I think part of the problem is that I'm afraid of hurting him so I'm too gentle?

Any tips, ideas, suggestions??

MagicMarker

Personally, I like control, so when the woman is on top I prefer that she lean forward and let me do the work. Plus it's more intimate imo.

Nevyn

I would suggest you don't focus on up or down or back and forth but rather gripping him
with your vagainal walls, squeezing and releasing.

Catari Jaguar

I like to grind, kinda like dancing rhythmically, snakeish if you get me. Being on top means the lady gets control of speed, depth and angles. It's all about you!

LegacyUser

Not sure but think guys last longer when girls on top!

Dont fret or take it so seriously and ask him to be more responsive and direct you more.
Mess about with different positions with your legs - this gives more or less control intensity although takes practice and balance. Clinch and take it slowly try revearsing so that you are facing his toes.

LegacyUser

Don't panic. I definately last longer when she's on top. Even to the tune of 2-3 times more. Up and down with a glint in your eye. Should do the trick

spinandscribble

its all about doing what feels good for you, then when you've got a groove going, starting to focus on him. by that stage he'll be so turned on watching you enjoying yourself he'll really be ready. try what you were saying, grinding, snaking but don't be shy, look at his face and go at it fast and forcefully if thats the style he likes to do, he'll tell you to stop if its too much.

*phew* i shouldn't have read this thread... now i'm in the mood. god damn it...

LegacyUser

Men usually don't get the same 'feel' from woman on top so its basicly down to visuals moreso to keep us hard and make us come. The grinding back and forth motion is by far the better of the two motions but mix it up. Its all about your attitude and acting horny in that position. When hes close, lean forward so he can do some work and you'll get the job done

colly10

Rubbing back and forward feels the best imo, the most important thing when your on top is to do whatever you enjoy and don't worry about putting on a performance.
Theres nothing more of a turn on to most lads than a girl enjoying herself and what feels good to you will feel good to him. Don't worry about hurting him either, it's never really sore.
Just forget about him and do what you enjoy, him seeing you relaxing rather than trying will help him to just relax and enjoy it.

Worrying about him is counter productive in my opinion

Adam

two words for you op: reverse cowgirl

LegacyUser

Adam wrote: »

two words for you op: reverse cowgirl

Not so good for the girl though, in my experience. I don't like not being able to see my OH !!

OP - vary what you do as much as you can. Keep him guessing

Libertine2002

Ask him! Everyones different. You'll be certain of what he wants, he'll be more satisfied, everyone wins. I know it can be an awkward topic of conversation but always worth it in the long run. There's only so far advice from strangers will get you, this is definitely something you need to be asking him. It's so important to be open about sex in a relationship. Seriously, don't be embarrassed to ask. He'll be glad you did.

nomorebadtown

normal enough. takes me ages to even come close to climax with my gf on top, but she loves it. mix things up and move around, its not like "well i'm on top now so lets go for it" just do what feels good and take all the time you need. there is also a lot to be said for taking a half time break!!

Thaedydal wrote: »

I would suggest you don't focus on up or down or back and forth but rather gripping him
with your vagainal walls, squeezing and releasing.

+1million
bit early for that kind of talk, getting all hot and bothered here!:p

LegacyUser

get your OH to sit on a chair. you sit on top of him facing him. you have way better control as your feet are on the ground to control it. position the chair in front of a mirror for xtra fun

LegacyUser

Thaedydal wrote: »

I would suggest you don't focus on up or down or back and forth but rather gripping him
with your vagainal walls, squeezing and releasing.

Would I do this in the same way as Kegel exercises?

LegacyUser

RE: Reverse Cowgirl

Unregistered09 wrote: »

Not so good for the girl though, in my experience. I don't like not being able to see my OH !!

Oh God I love reverse cowgirl and I'm a girl btw. Wowsa it can be good.

,mnb

When you grind forward and back it can get sore. Like its bending the micky too much.
So dont grind too much. And lean forward a bit. Give him a mouthful.

spinandscribble

Unregistered wrote: »

Would I do this in the same way as Kegel exercises?

yes its the same thing. apparently if you preform kegel exercises enough you'll eventually be able to control it so its like a handjob.

so kegel exercises- good for her AND him

LegacyUser

men tend to take longer to climax when the women is on top tbh hun, so i wouldn't worry about it. it's because the woman is in control instead of the man going at it like jack and hammer till it's over lol! the longer sex lasts the better imo!

also dont choose on just one method of doing it on top...do them all! alternate! change speeds and motions and directions! makes it much more sensual

Libertine2002

spinandscribble wrote: »

yes its the same thing. apparently if you preform kegel exercises enough you'll eventually be able to control it so its like a handjob.

so kegel exercises- good for her AND him

...sweet jesus!

Anyway, just want to say that just because he takes longer to orgasm doesn't mean he's enjoying it any less! Are you having sex to get him off as quick as possible or are you having sex to be intimate? Personally if the sex is particularly good I'll do my living best to prolong it as much as possible. I've even done the "think of her grandad naked" trick just to make it last that extra 10 minutes! Nah, only kidding, but seriously the length of time it takes him to climax is completely irrelevant to how well you're performing. Having said that, the kegel thing will probably blow his mind!

Darthhoob

Libertine2002 wrote: »

...sweet jesus!

Anyway, just want to say that just because he takes longer to orgasm doesn't mean he's enjoying it any less! Are you having sex to get him off as quick as possible or are you having sex to be intimate? Personally if the sex is particularly good I'll do my living best to prolong it as much as possible. I've even done the "think of her grandad naked" trick just to make it last that extra 10 minutes! Nah, only kidding, but seriously the length of time it takes him to climax is completely irrelevant to how well you're performing. Having said that, the kegel thing will probably blow his mind!

not just his mind im thinking :pac:

stevelknievel

Unregistered wrote: »

Oh God I love reverse cowgirl and I'm a girl btw. Wowsa it can be good.

Hey baby, how you doing;)

I have to agree with Libertine on this. A lot of time the better it feels, the longer it will last cos we try to put it off for as long as possible. If we're not enjoying it, we just wanna get it out of the way and go to sleep. Also, as someone else said, we love to see (and hear) a woman enjoying herself. So stop worrying about him and do what feels good for you. He'll enjoy it a lot more too.