Post-natal depression - please help me

LegacyUser

i have post natal depression - i have ben to a doctor and he has helped as much he can but i feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnell - i woke up this morning and i just couldnt stop crying its all too much for me - my lil one has the runs soooo bad for the last week (doc cant help shes theeting) i was made redundant today and on monday just gone my partners work week was reduced to a 3 day week meaning we are down 2 days pay.
(thats just todays worries)

most days i wake up and dont want to leave the house for fear of meeting someone and havin to talk to them, i dont want to drive because im afraid of causing an accident (oh thats another fear i have i ran over a child and broke his leg and havnt ben able to drive since)
if a friend wants to call over i make an excuse for them not to call like im busy or summit - i cant talk to people because i get so flustered and nervous i just say nutting in the end,

i hate seeing myself in the mirror because i hate what i see looking back at me and most of all i hate what im doing to my lil one - how can me feeling like this be any good to my lil one, i try sooo hard to be as normal and as happy as i can around her but it just feels like im doing everything wrong

as well as that my pooor partner is at his wits end - he trys soo hard but its not fair on him

im not feeling sorry for my self i just hate the way i feel all the time

username123

Hello OP,
Im sorry to hear you are feeling so low - I want to address a number of different points in your post:

Your PND. Are you actually being treated for it? And if so for how long? It can take some time for the meds to kick in. If you feel they are not working you can ask your doc to try different ones or be referred to a specialist.
I know its not much help - but PND is normal and it does affect a lot of people - just know that you are not alone. You could consider contacting www.aware.ie to discuss how you feel - they hold group therapy sessions that may help too?

In the current crisis of you not being able to stop crying etc... (and by the way you have a massive amount on your plate so itd be normal to be down even without the PND!!), can you contact a close friend or family member to come and sit with you and help you out during the day today? Just so as not to be alone.

About the not wanting to drive - you may well need counselling to come to terms with the accident. Please dont let this go, you are clearly harbouring feelings of guilt about it. Ask your GP about this.

Youre little one is probably too little to have a clue whats going on with mammy. So dont worry about that. Arent you providing food, shelter and cuddles? Thats enough for now, there will be time when you are feeling better to have fun with her.

You should contact your local social welfare office immediately to find out what your entitlements are since being made redundant and your partners hours being cut.

Dont feel bad for feeling how you do - its ok. There is help available.
www.aware.ie will be there to talk to you and your GP is there to help as well.

Keep posting here too - sometimes the anonymous nature of websites make it easier to explain how you feel.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I felt exactley the same as you, probably worse in some ways. I was driving past a quarry one day and thought I could end it there and then, I turned around and drove straight to my doctor for help.

I am anti-depressants and have sought counselling which is REALLY helping. I have found alot of underlying issues that I have to resolve, and even though it is really hard I am working through it.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE !!!! - I know you think you are, but you aren't - they say the darkest hour is before the dawn and THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNELL. You just have to keep looking for it.

I don't know where you are - but if you are near the carlow area and need a chat - I'm here - because I've been where you are.

Chin up - it will get easier, believe in yourself.

Overheal

Being a young guy I can only say this. I had a landlady who was grossly hooked on ADs. The story I was fed (at least) was they were prescribed to her after PND almost 10 years ago, and after that she just couldnt come off them. Believe what you will, but I don't think she got counseling or anything and just used the meds, and got hooked, or abused her dosage, or something. Quite crooked these days so she is. Without xanax in her system now, she begins to hallucenate among other things. Scary to watch. Thats what 10 years of AD treatment will do I guess.

But I imagine from her experience that PND symptoms are extreme and severe but you have to remember that it will end at some point. You have to put the strength and will into getting through it or you may never come back out on the other side.

Your doctor may already be prescribing you ADs which is a good start but you need to also seek counseling, or speak with friends. Locking yourself up in the house is going to seriously excacerbate the problem there. You need to regard your brain and feelings like a body part: a broken ankle gets both Painkillers and Physio. Youre already getting painkillers, its time for physio. You don't have to do it alone either: you surely have a wonderful husband who can stand beside you every step of the way.

Alice1

Op, I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I've been there and can sympathise with some of the feelings you have.
Regarding treatment, different treatments work for different people. I found medication very helpful and a necessary part of healing. Such medications have got some bad press of late which is rather a shame - as they are right for some folk. For other patients, counselling is the right treatment.
You need to find what suits you best - go back to your doctor and keep going back until you find what helps you. Sending big hugs your way. Let us know how you get on.



(Overheal, is your landlady addicted to anti depressants or Xanax? Sounds like her medication was not properly supervised. Very sad story)

Overheal

The Xanax. And no probably not very properly administered at all. A situation frankly I am thankful I didn't become entrenched in, though I had a few anon rants about it in here: I took peoples advice to stay well out of it.

TequilaMockingBird

I don't think its appropriate to post horror stories about Xanax (which is not an anti-depressant) in response to the OP.

Many people are wary about taking any drugs to treat PND, and will resist even doctors recommendations to begin the treatment. Taking ADs for PND is very, very common and nothing to be concerned about at all. Taking them can, within a few weeks, drastically improve a sufferers life.

OP there is light at the end of the tunnel, keep the head down, mind you and baby, and talk to your GP. Get your partner to sort out the Social Welfare side of things for now. (You may be entitled to Disability Benefit.)

Username123 has some good links for you.

Alice1

Thanks Tequila, you are quite right. I was very wary of taking drugs when I had PND - but they saved my sanity and my marriage. They do have their place in helping to heal.

TequilaMockingBird

Alice1 wrote: »

Thanks Tequila, you are quite right. I was very wary of taking drugs when I had PND - but they saved my sanity and my marriage. They do have their place in helping to heal.

I was the same, terrified of taking them. I remember sitting outside the doctors with my sister and telling her I was worried how they'd make me feel. My sister was gently trying to tell me I couldn't possibly feel any f*cking worse so just TAKE THEM. She was right.

Its surprising how common it is, there is no need to feel alone. There's loads of bonkers new mums around feeling just the same as you OP, tell your doctor everything and take the ADs as prescribed, and it will soon feel better.