What is wrong with the world lately!

LegacyUser

Ok, this is a rant I need to tell someone to get it out!

Lately, in the last few weeks things have been wrecking my head.

1) It seems everywhere I go there's couples, people talking about being together and all that relationship stuff. I'm 20 going on 21, been single for a majority of my life, had 2 or 3 minors things with girls over the last few years, one I really clicked with and even as far to say I was in love with her after 2 and a half months of constant communication, but only seeing her on 4 or 5 occasions because of distance. Anyway, all these occurrences are driving me mad because at times it makes me feel I'm missing part of my youth and makes me feel abnormal, or makes me feel people look at me differently because of it. I go out with some friends often enough, once every week or 2, but I don't go on the pull or anything, I like a few drinks, bit of drunken chat with my friends about all sorts of crap, one night stands don't interest me, I can't see the point in opening up to someone for a few hours and then closing yourself up again, thats not healthy like! I'd rather get to know a girl and then see where my heart takes me.

2) I'm in college, and 3 of my housemates, female in the last 2 days have turned suddenly on me and my other housemate whom I'm very good friends with. Today they just completely ignored us and gave us a dirty look anytime we said anything. Now my other housemate who's also a friend takes there side because as I put it, he's got the same childish mentality as them. It all started Sunday nite when they kept asking me and my best friend would we go to the cinema with them, we said ya sure we'll see whats on. Monday night, the 3 of them and my other friend went to the cinema, firstly while me and my best friend (are you lost yet?) went to get some food to cook for dinner, we were only gone 15 mins, but we were txting the other friend while we were there and he failed to mention any idea of going to the cinema, when we returned they were gone, i text one of the girls saying i guess the cinema is out of the question, of which she replied, we're at the cinema already dummy! so i replied saying thats very much for the invite.. i'll remember that in the future.. ever since they've gotten thick with me and my best friend. wdf? first years?! last thing I need is a live episode of PMS override in the house.

3) Life.. I don't know where I'm going.. I'm doing the course i've always wanted to do and loving it, but I wonder where am I going in life. I goto america every chirstmas to my uncle for a break and love the place where he lives, I was hoping to go this summer on J1 but I can't find any of my friends to come with me because there tied down the relationships. I wouldn't the type to go by myself, I'd need a friend for company.That has me kinda of disappointed because I want to get out of this miserable country, its just depressing being here! And plus the people my age bracket, there just so many idiots and childish people here, they all think there great, fella's think there god gift to women and treat them like crap. It seems all women are drawn to these fools! Often I have to listen to the bitching and moaning by women! Where are all the sound, down to earth, honest to god people!


rant over.. opinions?! I know I know, my life's not as bad as it seems, infact, I'm very lucky to be where I am and to have the options I do and I do appreciate where I am and luckily, as far as I'm aware I have my health!

jimmycrackcorm

Let me summarise this:

You're not losing your job, not losing your house, and your parents aren't dying of cancer but you're posting because some friends went to the cinema without you and you still have a 21st birthday party to look forward.

You're simply missing some perspective.

hussey

regarding point 2

it sounds like you are pretty childish and need to grow up.

"thats very much for the invite.. i'll remember that in the future"

"wdf? first years?"

"last thing I need is a live episode of PMS override in the house."

Very mature response there, kinda puts point 1 in perspective.

LegacyUser

Unregistered889 wrote: »

1) It seems everywhere I go there's couples, people talking about being together and all that relationship stuff.

If you're bitter about not being with someone, then you're going to notice couples more. Your post comes across as being quite negative and bitter. Maybe that's what's putting potential partners off.

Unregistered889 wrote: »

I'm 20 going on 21, been single for a majority of my life

When I was 20, going on 21, I (along with everyone I know) had been single for the majority of my life. That line you wrote sounds a bit dramatic. Otherwise, you'd have to have started dating when you were 9 (to bot have been single the majority of your life).

Unregistered889 wrote: »

Anyway, all these occurrences are driving me mad because at times it makes me feel I'm missing part of my youth and makes me feel abnormal, or makes me feel people look at me differently because of it.

You need to chill out. People aren't going to look at you differently because you're not going out with someone!. And if they do, then why would you want anything to do with them?.

Unregistered889 wrote: »

one night stands don't interest me,

That's perfectly reasonable. I'd be the same. I need to feel a connection with the person that will be for more than one night. I found my current partner when I wasn't looking for one. Don't worry about being single (if you are worried, as paragraph one suggests you might be)

Unregistered889 wrote: »

2) I'm in college, and 3 of my housemates, female in the last 2 days have turned suddenly on me and my other housemate whom I'm very good friends with. Today they just completely ignored us and gave us a dirty look anytime we said anything. Now my other housemate who's also a friend takes there side because as I put it, he's got the same childish mentality as them. It all started Sunday nite when they kept asking me and my best friend would we go to the cinema with them, we said ya sure we'll see whats on. Monday night, the 3 of them and my other friend went to the cinema, firstly while me and my best friend (are you lost yet?) went to get some food to cook for dinner, we were only gone 15 mins, but we were txting the other friend while we were there and he failed to mention any idea of going to the cinema, when we returned they were gone, i text one of the girls saying i guess the cinema is out of the question, of which she replied, we're at the cinema already dummy! so i replied saying thats very much for the invite.. i'll remember that in the future.. ever since they've gotten thick with me and my best friend. wdf? first years?! last thing I need is a live episode of PMS override in the house.

Just from reading paragraph one, are you sure you don't get paranoid over things easily?
About the cinema- you didn't give a definite yes. It looked like you MIGHT go, but wouldn't be too bothered if you didn't go. Also, as ye were going shopping/ cooking food (and it's not like they left you alone- you were doing this stuff with a friend), it looked like you already had plans. Did you see what was on and tell them that you wanted to go to a certain film, or did you just do nothing about it and thus seem uninterested?

Unregistered889 wrote: »

ever since they've gotten thick with me and my best friend. wdf? first years?! last thing I need is a live episode of PMS override in the house

It appears as though you 'got thick' with them first, if they thought they did nothing wrong (ie, thinking you weren't too pushed about the cinema in the first place). I bet they think you're the one who is acting 'thick'. And there's no need to use PMS as an excuse. That's practically sexist. When men are stubborn arrogant a**holes, no one can blame PMS.

Unregistered889 wrote: »

I was hoping to go this summer on J1 but I can't find any of my friends to come with me because there tied down the relationships. I wouldn't the type to go by myself, I'd need a friend for company.That has me kinda of disappointed because I want to get out of this miserable country, its just depressing being here!

It seems like you are not very happy by yourself. I think alot of people would try and avoid dating people who aren't happy to spend time by themselves. People like that come across as being needy. I was afraid to travel by myself before. Just a little bit. But I took the jump and did it and it was the best thing ever. Traveling by yourself will push you to new limits, to make new friends and to be independent. And who knows what girls you might encounter along the way. You only live once and ever second should be spent doing something worthwhile. If you have the money to get out of the country, then if I was you, I'd go for it.

John Mason

1. You are 20 for god sake. The last thing on your mind should be relationships, you should be out enjoying yourself not stuff with some paranoid idiot (just read PI)

2. You and your friends need to grow up a bit the "thanks for the invite" text was very childish. Just act as if nothing has happened and be the bigger person

3. Why do you need someone to go on the J1 with you? go by yourself. it is the only way to travel. The reason your friends cant go is because they are in relationships, which you want but then you couldnt go to america and will be missing out on probably your best summer. i went to Australia by myself, its the best thing in the world, travelling alone

4. Of course you dont know where your life is going - YOU ARE TWENTY, you are not supposed to know where your life is going - thats the fun of it - its a big adventure

now cope yourself on. you have absolutely no problems in your life - so just get on with it and enjoy

LegacyUser

Sometimes we think the world is wrong, when we actually need to take a look at ourselves.

You are calling everybody else "childish", how about your attitude? You have to get tougher and wiser, your friends may wanted to talk about something and didn´t want anybody else around (nothing to do with you). Your text after may have made them feel angry, though.. There's always a reason behind everything, don´t always be suspicious of people´s intentions.

Why don´t you take a minute and try to look at your issues in a different way, imagine it's not you, it's only a friend telling you. You'll realise it's not that bad.

Talk to your friends, and try to rewind, otherwise this situation may result in a scalation of hostilities

biko

Perhaps I'll get lambasted for this but you're just young and immature. Maybe the answer is in the title "What is wrong with the world lately!"
You think the "world" is to blame when it is not. The world was here before you, it'll be here after you and it does not owe you anything - you owe it.

Dudess

I'll tell you what's wrong with the world (not just lately but always) - starvation, war, disease, human rights abuses, natural disasters, murder, rape, it goes on... Your world is not "the" world - no need for the melodrama.

You're at a point in life where changes are occurring - things aren't so straightforward, people are changing. It isn't nice - I remember feeling like things had suddenly turned upside down for me too when I was 18 - what I failed to realise at the time is: that is life. Accept it rather than analysing it/getting pissed off about it and I promise you things will feel better.

Unregistered889 wrote: »

Lately, in the last few weeks things have been wrecking my head.

1) It seems everywhere I go there's couples, people talking about being together and all that relationship stuff. I'm 20 going on 21, been single for a majority of my life, had 2 or 3 minors things with girls over the last few years, one I really clicked with and even as far to say I was in love with her after 2 and a half months of constant communication, but only seeing her on 4 or 5 occasions because of distance. Anyway, all these occurrences are driving me mad because at times it makes me feel I'm missing part of my youth and makes me feel abnormal, or makes me feel people look at me differently because of it. I go out with some friends often enough, once every week or 2, but I don't go on the pull or anything, I like a few drinks, bit of drunken chat with my friends about all sorts of crap, one night stands don't interest me, I can't see the point in opening up to someone for a few hours and then closing yourself up again, thats not healthy like! I'd rather get to know a girl and then see where my heart takes me.

Well then stick to your guns. If you didn't feel left out you'd be happy to carry on the way you're going - there's no point therefore in deciding suddently to do stuff that doesn't interest you, just because it might stop you from feeling left out. Not shagging around does not mean missing out on your youth - everyone's into different stuff. Sex is the same - I hate the way people don't consider the individual when it comes to sex, and only look at it from the perspective of social trends. Sex is a very personal thing to some people - a big deal to many. Just because some people treat it as something you have to do every Friday/Saturday night (how depressingly cold and joyless) doesn't mean everyone does.
Sex doesn't have to be between two people who love each other either - it can be casual and just fun, but there should be at least some degree of connection/level playing-field.
As for a relationship, you're very young - there is no need to feel pressured into being in a relationship. It's awesome to fall in love, and if that happens, all the better... but "getting" a girlfriend/boyfriend because you suddenly feel lonely and need someone to love/share your life with, bla bla (i.e. you don't like being the only one of your mates who doesn't have one) is silliness, considering you'd be fine if your mates were single. You don't need another half to validate you as a person.

I'm in college, and 3 of my housemates, female in the last 2 days have turned suddenly on me and my other housemate whom I'm very good friends with. Today they just completely ignored us and gave us a dirty look anytime we said anything. Now my other housemate who's also a friend takes there side because as I put it, he's got the same childish mentality as them. It all started Sunday nite when they kept asking me and my best friend would we go to the cinema with them, we said ya sure we'll see whats on. Monday night, the 3 of them and my other friend went to the cinema, firstly while me and my best friend (are you lost yet?) went to get some food to cook for dinner, we were only gone 15 mins, but we were txting the other friend while we were there and he failed to mention any idea of going to the cinema, when we returned they were gone, i text one of the girls saying i guess the cinema is out of the question, of which she replied, we're at the cinema already dummy! so i replied saying thats very much for the invite.. i'll remember that in the future.. ever since they've gotten thick with me and my best friend. wdf? first years?! last thing I need is a live episode of PMS override in the house.

That's just silly pettiness by them - tell them they should have let you know they were in the cinema rather than leaving you to figure out things yourself so no wonder you were a bit annoyed... but it's over and done with now, then tell them to cop on with this over-reactionary bullsh1t charade. If they won't, meh, leave them to it. I know tension in a house-share is crap, but sometimes you just have to get on with it and let things thaw out naturally - I doubt that won't happen. Stuff like this nearly always blows over.

Life.. I don't know where I'm going.. I'm doing the course i've always wanted to do and loving it, but I wonder where am I going in life.

There are people far, far older than you who don't know where they're going. You should relax and enjoy your youth - you're a baby! Things fall into place - perhaps not always exactly in the direction you planned, but nothing disastrous happens once you put in whatever work you have to put in. The main thing is, you love your course - focus on that. It's a brilliant position to be in.

I goto america every chirstmas to my uncle for a break and love the place where he lives, I was hoping to go this summer on J1 but I can't find any of my friends to come with me because there tied down the relationships.

Well at least you've have a place to stay - you've gotta start focusing on the positives. As for your friends' relationships - there is no guarantee they'll still be together in the summer. Your age is generally not the long-term relationship age. Have they actually said they won't go or are you just assuming it? Some people get really wrapped up in relationships (and take their friends for granted) but others are able to strike a balance between relationship, friends, family, hobbies etc.

And plus the people my age bracket, there just so many idiots and childish people here, they all think there great, fella's think there god gift to women and treat them like crap. It seems all women are drawn to these fools! Often I have to listen to the bitching and moaning by women! Where are all the sound, down to earth, honest to god people!

And there are people your age who are negative and cynical and always complaining - like you! Listen, you can choose your friends - if those people are the ones you encounter all the time, why are you drawn to them? The sound people are definitely out there - get involved with college societies/clubs etc to meet them.

You appear to over-think things - don't. Just sit back and enjoy the ride - some things you don't have control over. It's a policy I adopted myself, and my god does it make life easier.
What you're talking about is very normal, everyday stuff - you're treating it as much more of a big deal than it is. Seeing as this is stuff you can't do anything about, how you deal with it is the clincher. You can either let it get to you (as you're doing) or you can be positive and focus on the good things in your life and go about doing whatever is within your power about the stuff that's not so good.

Dragan

Jesus man, just go the States on your own and use the experience to grow a little bit.

Thats about all i can say as i mostly switched off when reading it. Not trying to belittle your problems, but they are all pretty easy to solve, if you read back over them yourself objectively.

MadelineNYC

Dragan wrote: »

Jesus man, just go the States on your own and use the experience to grow a little bit.

ITA with this advice. Traveling on your own and spending some time with your own thoughts is just what the doctor ordered.
Did it when I was younger and it really helped me grow up.

It would really help you put everything in perspective.