Upset

LegacyUser

Hi everyone. Apologies if this post doesn't make much sense, I can't really figure out exactly how I feel - all I know is I'm not happy.

I'm starting to feel like I have no one. My family don't really get along - my parents fight all the time with my sister. When I say fight... I mean complete and utter verbal (sometimes physical) abuse. They say things... I hear them shout things during the minimum one a week arguement, and I'm like, how can you say that to anyone, let alone someone you're related to. My sister is just plain selfish, my mum is recovering from an eating disorder. My dad works so hard, and I am so worried he isn't happy. I know he isn't doing the things he wants and it makes me so upset.

I'm always so paranoid that my friends are gonna turn around and jst decide one day they dont want me around. At times I'm controlling, and I don't like when things dont go my way. Then i feel guilty and Im always trying to make up for it - i'm just so unstable. everything seems so unstable.


I don't know if this is why I feel like I do, I barely know how I feel. I just want to leave myself, my family and everything.

AARRRGH

Nib wrote: »

i'm just so unstable

I knew an unstable girl. She got counselling for a number of years and is now happy, stable and in general a great person.

You should definitely get away from your family. Move out and see less of them. They might be family, but I don't see any sense in hanging around people who are obviously a bit psycho. Personally I would cut contact with them. They sound like scumbags. Sorry.

Once you are away from the drama of your family, you will probably feel a bit more peaceful and will probably be less unstable around your friends.

You should also consider going to the gym. Regular exercise has a tendency to stablise people a bit.

Queen-Mise

OP, go and get some help. Your family seems to be quite dysfunctional at the moment, and the strange thing is the things they are saying and doing are their best expression of love and caring at the moment.

My concern is you at the moment. You are not well enough to be concerned about anyone else, your father is responsible for himself, don't worry about him.
You need to look after yourself, as the above poster said go to a gym, stay going out and enjoy life. Your friends are your friends because they like you, tell them as much as what you can what is going on for yourself, and how much you seem to be struggling.
Most importantly though, maybe go to a doctor or a counsellor and get some help with yourself and how you are coping on a day to day basis.

Things will be ok, they is lots and lots of help out there, and this was a great place to start.

LegacyUser

I'm in 6th year, I don't have the money to move out. How do i explain to my parents that I want help off someone? I don't want to have to discuss all this with them - it makes me feel ill.

I've always been the together one, I do well in school, I rarely get in trouble. But i feel like Im at a dead end. Each day seems like such effort, I wish time would go by much faster.

LegacyUser

(I had put up a reply earlier, but I used a laptop so I'm not sure if it didn't work because I was using a different computer).

The problem is, I can't move out. I don't have the money, I'm in 6th year, I don't have a job. I do quite well in school, my parents want me to do extremely well in college do, so i doubt very much they'll be ok with me leaving. I don't think I have the balls to just up and leave, as much as I want to.

I can't help but feel bad for my dad. He isn't the problem in this scenario, its my mum and my sister. My dad is such a good person, he is extremely fair and very clever and generous. He goes to work, and has to come home to deal with another arguement. Sometimes he has to leave work because it gets so bad.

With all my friends, everything seems to be so perfect, like the ****ing brady bunch. while with me, i can't remember any family event that hasnt ended in a fight.

For example, I turned 18 a while ago. I was supposed to go out to town with my friends, but a few of them couldn't. So my best friend decided to throw me a party in her house the previous evening, and a few of my other friends decided to take me out to a bar close to the house the next evening (the night of my birthday). Well all ****ing hell broke lose in my house because god forbid id want to go out with my friends on my birthday. We'd already planned a family meal on sunday, but apparently I should've stayed in on my birthday. This might seem minor, but I spent the night after my 18 birthday crying, and being maed feel guilty (only by my mum, NOT by my dad).

They now want my sister out of the house. But it gets so annoying my mum being so focused on me all the time. This might sound harsh, but i wish she'd get her own life and stop ****ing with mine. because that's all she does. she'll do things for you, and then give out about it later