Cripping self esteem

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

My self confidence seems to have nose-dived recently and I'm just looking for some advice here. I've always seen myself as a self-assured individual but recently I've noticed that I have quite a low opinion of myself when it comes to my appearance, and it's having a seriously detrimental affect on my life.
I know I shouldn't be so ungrateful for my lot - I'm a pretty girl, if we're to believe what others have said (mothers count, right??!), I dress well, take care of myself, I have nothing really to complain about. But I just always assume no-one is interested in me and fail to see why they would be if anyone does show interest.
I'm 24 and have never had a proper boyfriend and haven't been on a date in God knows how long - I'm pretty sure this is why.

I should probably also mention I've had serious food issues in the past and dealt, briefly, with an eating disorder, and dealing with the regained weight has been quite hard for me - my weight is a constant source of pain and misery. And I'm of average weight now as opposed to neurotically skinny.

Sorry for all the rambling - I guess what I'm wondering is if anyone has conquered these sort of insecurities and has any tips for pulling myself out of it? My life is a series of missed opportunities at the moment because of them.

ManOfMystery

I was like that for a few years. I'm no Brad Pitt, but have been called good looking by a few females before (yes, mother included!) ..... however, I totally lacked self esteem and if I was ever out in a bar or the like, I would automatically have assumed that none of the girls were interested in me - ever.

Thing is, putting out that vibe is self defeating as the opposite sex will pick up on it very quickly. Instead of focusing on your weight (which sounds totally normal by the way) or other things which you consider negative, next time you're out think about the features you like about yourself - your eyes, your hair, your legs, etc. Think of what other people would find attractive about you, and try and relax and have a good time without worrying how the opposite sex find you ................... that relaxed vibe is infinitely more appealing to guys than someone who is totally self conscious.

LegacyUser

HI OP - you're almost a mirror image of me. I have quite low self esteem even though i'm told all the time (again not blowing my own trumpet) by people that i'm nice looking/nice person etc. It still doesn't stop me from not feelling confident though. I'm 23 and i've never had a boyfriend. I don't like going to pubs and clubs (don't know if you're like that) and as a result i panic that i'll never meet someone - it's really been getting me down lately. If someone were genuinely interested in me i prob wouldnt believe it - i just can't imagine anyone being interested in me....that's sad really isn't it! I know how you feel:)

Sorry there wasn't actually any advice there....!

AARRRGH

The problem probably has little to do with your weight. You just don't love yourself. Figure out why this is and you'll become a happier, stronger, more attractive person.

If you are not particularly good at introspection, you should consider conselling.

Overheal

If you love yourself, you'll keep yourself better. Someone who appreciates the way they look will be more inclined to keep themselves groomed and handsome and confident, and attractive. Its hard to look handsome when I have bags under my eyes and I just fell out of bed - but then I have a shave and a shower, put on a good shirt, a spray of cologne and then Im good and sexy as far as I'm concerned. Fcuk anyone else.