Strange

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Just want to rant about a few things bugging me at the moment.

Firstly my looks, I am an ugly guy and have been told so by many people. My physique has also been mocked. I'm not fat or anything, but I wouldn't call myself a normal physique for a college student that I am. Plus I've been told that even though I'm happy, I always look angry or unhappy. Now, I'm not the type that can go around with a smile on my face, t'will only make me look crazy. I've never actually kissed a girl yet...and to be honest, would be scared and so don't want to try. I don't like this part of me. I'm a fairly confident person despite all of this, and can't bring myself to kiss a girl, and don't think I ever will. Actually, I haven't kissed anyone before, not even on the cheek of a relative or friend. I don't know how this situation has arose, somehow it has!! It's the coping of this that ruins me...I try hard to cope with this reality. I know exactly what people might advise eg. look clean, buy clothes, get new haircut, go to the gym. I am a clean looking guy, but that's never going to change my physical looks (unless I get surgery ).

I can't get sex off my mind either. I'd say I masturbate 3-4 times a day just to quench the ideas that come into my head. I know it's normal to fantasize, but the level I have it lately just disrupts everything I want to do eg. reading, or doing anything else. This is linked with the kissing thing because if I don't want to kiss = no sex, so that sort of depresses me to some extent. Again, I try coping and forgetting it. Just lately, it's been pretty irritating to say the least. I'm also an immensely jealous person of anyone who can go out and get girls and that, so I tend to get angry with friends unnecessarily but I haven't told friends about this.

Thanks

Victor

Some details removed. Please don't post information like that. The Personal Issues board isn't set up for things like that.

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Did you ever think that there are lots of people just like you? That are sensative about their appearance and activities, what they have or haven't done.

Can I ask you to approach your doctor, explain what you've said here (including the snipped bit) and seek some treatment. Confidence training might be one thing - you say you are confident - but I'm not sure thats true.

LegacyUser

Unhappylife wrote: »

Hi all,
Firstly my looks, I am an ugly guy and have been told so by many people. My physique has also been mocked. I'm not fat or anything, but I wouldn't call myself a normal physique for a college student that I am. Plus I've been told that even though I'm happy, I always look angry or unhappy.

Who is saying this too you?!? They sound very unsensitive in fact downright nasty. NO wonder you have no confidence

LegacyUser

find that if you think positively everything just falls into place. dont believe the negative comments from other people. nobodys perfect, but everybody has some traits, personality, characteristics that are attractive to others. you sound like a knowledgable bloke who knows what his mind and wat he wants dont let others influence you. get out on the dating scene with genuine single mates and sees what happens with the opposite sex, just be friendly and approachable, dont be obsessed with meeting someone but if sumthing happens on a nite out all well and good (like a kiss) you dont know until you try it

LegacyUser

Hi, thanks for all the replies.

Victor cut out my main personal issue actually. Apparently he finds it inappropriate, however I have saw many threads in the past based on this issue, and sought to seek advice based on my own particular circumstances which differ slightly from the usual issue.

Thanks for the advice regarding the "snipped part", however I believe you will understand best as you cut it out of my original thread. I wouldn't want to go to a doctor as I have my heart set and look forward to the event I plan to organize. So even though I see the rational of your argument, it's not really what I desire even though I realize it's probably the best decision. Not a fear of doing that, but simply I look forward to the alternative perspective for the future.

Regarding the image issue, yes you are entirely correct that many people have played a nasty part in my life, but the most important question remains; does this detract from the veracity of the situation?

Regarding the last post before me, you're correct about the positivity outlook however if it were as simple as you suggest, there would be no need for me to post here. Regarding not believing the insults; it's one thing rejecting them as insults, quite another to deal with the obvious if not minute truth the insult contains. Amalgamate this with the notion of the same ideas repeatedly been proposed to me, and I believe it would be undeniable to resist that such a claim were true.

Regarding the "trying" help; again I see the rational of your point as I've thought of this already but haven't had the courage so to speak, even in the current confident frame I occupy.

I would appreciate if Victor would allow me to post what I originally wrote as that is my main issue which I would rather discuss here than with a medical practitioner. Plus there may be many people in the same situation as me who visit the boards looking for advice based on their own similar situations.

stevelknievel

Hey OP. I feel your pain. I really do. I used to be very self-conscious of my image. And rightfully so. I had terrible hair do, jam-jar glasses, horrible dress style and I always looked unhappy too. I was also a very late bloomer when it came to kissing. Can I ask what age you are? I didn't kiss a girl for the first time until I was pretty old, and was terrified and clueless of how to go about it. This post could have been mine 2 years ago. Then a mate of mine introduced me to "the game". Google PUA and you'll see what I mean. It has a nasty reputation, but mostly by people who don't know the details of it. (There's actually a thread in AH about it at the moment.) There's a lot of mantras about confidence and how you are indeed worthy of whatever your heart desires. But there are also proper tips and guides on how to get women attracted to you. Basically I changed myself around completely. Simple things can have a huge effect on how a guy looks. I worked on body language. I worked on posture. I worked on facial expressions. All free and relatively easy things to do, but they have a huge effect. I worked on just enjoying myself and not worrying about what other people think. Because at the end of the day does it really matter? You seem like a decent genuine person and that's what's important. The biggest change I made was I got contacts instead of glasses. Now I never got compliments about my physical appearance but friends, family, male and female all said I looked well. I would highly recommend it to everyone who is even slightly unhappy with social interactions/love life etc. I really hope this helps man. I know how depressed I was when I was in your situation but, as cheesy as this sounds, the power to change is within you. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

A man does not have to be good looking or hadsome, he has to be charming to attract women.

Try to get more self confident. Smile to girls when you are talking to them, if necessary try that "game" thing. Ive seen some videos in youtube, they are a bit too American to me, but for a start its ok..

Take Shrek and Prince Charming, for instance, who did the princess pick?

PS. Delete from your agenda anyone who try to undermine your self confidence...

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies, but I even though I want you all to be right and know that you all are, I still feel the same even though the rational of your argument I believe in. Regarding trying and trying...it's a little more complicated than I originally said, but likewise I cannot see it happening.