Ugly, Shy guy

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I am not a good looking guy. I am also extremely shy and basically have no friends living near me anymore. They have all gone off to places all over the world (USA, Aus etc.)

So now, I am left and cant seem to make new friends. I have heard on so many occassions that "ugly" people have great personalities to make up for their shortcomings. However, that is not the case with me. You hear how guys are sometimes approached by girls, this hasnt really happened me ever and I'm 26 years old. When I was 12/13 age, I always imagined that when I was 26, I would be a confident married grown up. But It seems that I havent progressed at all since I was that age. But now nothing - I stay in at the weekends because there is noone, absolutely noone I can ask to go out with. I would like to go out but when you have no one to go with, What can you do?

unregged.

I don't actually believe there is such a thing - an ulgy person. SOMEONE WILL find you attractive. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

How are you ulgy? Describe your appearence OP, just so I can get a better picture to help you.

Why not join a gym and get your body looking great etc, new clothes? whiten your teeth. I don't know what way you are ulgy so I can't really say what is best for you appearence wise.

Sometimes you just need to take the bull by the horns and go out by yourself. Don't give a **** what other people think ( Lily Allen ) Join clubs etc and the gym as mentioned. You WILL meet people.

LegacyUser

UglyGuy wrote: »

Hi all,

I am not a good looking guy. I am also extremely shy and basically have no friends living near me anymore. They have all gone off to places all over the world (USA, Aus etc.)

So now, I am left and cant seem to make new friends. I have heard on so many occassions that "ugly" people have great personalities to make up for their shortcomings. However, that is not the case with me. You hear how guys are sometimes approached by girls, this hasnt really happened me ever and I'm 26 years old. When I was 12/13 age, I always imagined that when I was 26, I would be a confident married grown up. But It seems that I havent progressed at all since I was that age. But now nothing - I stay in at the weekends because there is noone, absolutely noone I can ask to go out with. I would like to go out but when you have no one to go with, What can you do?

Don't be so hard on yourself!! You need to get out and meet people. Do you play any team sports? Do you have colleagues that you could be friendlier with? Start doing a bit of social networking and get yourself some new friends, broaden your horizons...

congo_90

Op, I too am no prize winnner and like yourself had a lot of mates part from me.
What you need is confidence. just bear with me on this.. As others have said say ya don't give a sh1t and go for it! have a nice long relaxing shower and shave. look yourself in the mirror while listening to some good music and smile and say that tonight is going to be a great night! and it will! You're 26 so why not try some different clubs/ pubs etc in your area. You never know will be on that bar stool... A girl once told me that a guy who isn't confident in himself can't expect others to be confident in him. She is very very right!

Even to pretend for a little bit until a girl comes along and sweeps your ego up a notch or two.

Best of luck pal. I hope what i've said is somewhat helpful. just never give up!

LegacyUser

congo_90 wrote: »

give a sh1t and go for it! have a nice long relaxing shower and shave. look yourself in the mirror while listening to some good music and smile and say that tonight!

Sometimes facial hair can look sexy on a guy

congo_90

Just noted how hypocriticial that statement was of me as i've recently began trimming a beard and you're right. Fetches compliments. Back to op - sorry mods

username123

UglyGuy wrote: »

Hi all,

I am not a good looking guy. I am also extremely shy and basically have no friends living near me anymore. They have all gone off to places all over the world (USA, Aus etc.)

So now, I am left and cant seem to make new friends. I have heard on so many occassions that "ugly" people have great personalities to make up for their shortcomings. However, that is not the case with me. You hear how guys are sometimes approached by girls, this hasnt really happened me ever and I'm 26 years old. When I was 12/13 age, I always imagined that when I was 26, I would be a confident married grown up. But It seems that I havent progressed at all since I was that age. But now nothing - I stay in at the weekends because there is noone, absolutely noone I can ask to go out with. I would like to go out but when you have no one to go with, What can you do?

Hi OP,
First of all - stop being so hard on yourself. Im sure youre not 'ugly'. Beauty is totally subjective, what I find attractive the next person might find repulsive so there is no such thing as 'ugly'.
Next, groom yourself to within an inch of your life. Get the best haircut for your head, dress to suit your body shape, look as sharp as you possibly can - itll give your self confidence a boost to look your absolute best.
Then have a think about joining groups to meet other people. What are you interested in? There are groups out there for every interest, if its something to do with physical fitness, or a cookery class or some kind of hobby group - join something and try to widen your social circle.
You can also try the online route, I was in maybefriends before and they organise group meet ups where any member can go along and meet people - who want to meet other people - so many people with one common purpose - widening the social circle!!
What about work? Do the people in your job go out at the weekends and if so can you go along too? I know thats not always a runner - in my job there isnt much of a social scene.
But all it takes is to meet new people, once youve met them someone is going to talk about something coming up that weekend - even if youre not invited explicitly its ok to say 'oh that sounds like fun, would you mind if I tagged along' and take it from there.
But dont be sitting home alone, you wont find a queue of people lined up outside your house wanting to meet you - you have to get out in the world to meet them - so join something and start meeting people.

cantdecide

OP, don't allow us to put pressure on you- you should do things that you are comfortable with and lots of small adjustments are the order of the day. There's no one answer. Groom yourself better, spend some money on clothes etc.

Let's say for a sec that you're right. As blokes, we are more superficial in what we are attracted to. You would look at a girl that is, to be crude, around the same rank as your own and think 'no bloody way'. The advantage we have is that your average girl is not going to be as terminal in her view of you. In other words, the way you see women is not the way women see you. You must take advantage of this. You will repulse some and you will attract more. You would probably attract more than you'd think so don't be put off by a higher than average rejection rate.