Wedding present advice - I'm bridesmaid

chuckles30

Before I start this - I know there is a wedding thread, but that seems to be all preparartion related and I'm looking for more general advice and hoping that maybe someone here has already come across this from either being bride or bridesmaid.

I'm bridesmaid for one of my really good friends this year and I'm just wondering what is the done thing when it comes to wedding presents when you're a bridesmaid? Obviously because she is a good friend I'll be giving here a decent present anyway. But I'm wondering is there etiquette about making sure that I cover any costs she incurred for my dress etc??? Obviously I've never been BM before hence the questions. (And I have 3 weddings this year, (and a hen weekend abroad) so need to start saving!!!)

Jules

Moved from tLL. I really think you will get better answers here!

ilovecars

i had 3 bridesmaids in may 2 gave me €500 each towards the photo's and the other paid €150 for the singer for the church.. which i thought was mean enough considering she got free hair make-up tan jewellery dress shoes and a free day out..

MJOR

no hard and fast rules really... i'd recommend cash as a present

Toots

ilovecars wrote: »

i had 3 bridesmaids in may 2 gave me €500 each towards the photo's and the other paid €150 for the singer for the church.. which i thought was mean enough considering she got free hair make-up tan jewellery dress shoes and a free day out..

Christ almighty!!! I'm being a bridesmaid for my h2b's sister this year and if I thought she'd be looking for €500 for the pleasure I'd be telling her to take a hike! €150 is more than generous. IMO, if you want to have a bridesmaid(s) you ask them cos you want them to share your day, not because you expect them to cough up to cover the cost of your wedding!! You didn't HAVE to get their make up and tan done!!!

OP, give whatever you can afford. Cash would be nice, but if you can, maybe give her a little sentimental present too. Maybe a nice framed photo of you from when you were younger or an album of pics of times you have shared, something small.

kizzyr

ilovecars wrote: »

i had 3 bridesmaids in may 2 gave me €500 each towards the photo's and the other paid €150 for the singer for the church.. which i thought was mean enough considering she got free hair make-up tan jewellery dress shoes and a free day out..

Well it was hardly a free day out was it when you got €1150 in total. Also she only had to get her hair, make up, tan, jewelery and a dress of your choosing because she was doing you a favour by agreeing to be your bridesmaid in the first place. If you couldn't afford to pay for your wedding by yourself then you should have opted for less expensive things shouldn't you?

*Dallas

ilovecars wrote: »

i had 3 bridesmaids in may 2 gave me €500 each towards the photo's and the other paid €150 for the singer for the church.. which i thought was mean enough considering she got free hair make-up tan jewellery dress shoes and a free day out..

As per previous post... i would never describe being a Bridesmaid a 'free day out'! We all know what brides are like in the few weeks/months before the big day. Most bridesmaids needs therepy afterwards.

If the b&g are registered, pick something off the list. Im by no means poor and no matter how close i was to the bride, she would not be getting wads of cash ouda me

chuckles30

Thanks for the advice - I had been thinking along the lines of some cash...not wads though.... and a present - something along the lines of photo related.

Suzyq

ilovecars wrote: »

i had 3 bridesmaids in may 2 gave me €500 each towards the photo's and the other paid €150 for the singer for the church.. which i thought was mean enough considering she got free hair make-up tan jewellery dress shoes and a free day out..

God, I really hate that attitude! I feel sorry for the girl that you think so little of her you felt compelled to slag her off here. Maybe she was struggling for money and the €150 was really the limit of what she could afford. I know that if someone were to ask me at the moment to be a bridesmaid, I'd struggle to stretch to that and I'm in a full-time job paying the average wage.

Glowing

ilovecars wrote: »

i had 3 bridesmaids in may 2 gave me €500 each towards the photo's and the other paid €150 for the singer for the church.. which i thought was mean enough considering she got free hair make-up tan jewellery dress shoes and a free day out..

Unbelievable. You give all us other brides a bad name. :mad: