Advice needed...

upset · 16-02-2009 12:37pm #1

Hi all, im only new to this boards thing so im not quite sure how it all works yet...

The reason why im writing here is that I wanted some views on a relationship issue...I have been seeing my boyfriend now for about 5 years. we went away for valentines weekend and got back yesterday. I organised the weekend away and i got him a card. Saturday morning came, and i gave him my card only to be told that he didnt get me one. In fact, he didnt get me anything. I'm not a material person by any stretch of the imagination and i know I shouldnt be upset over a card. Its just that I feel that he could have made some kind of effort over the weekend when I went to so much effort organising the weekend away. Am I asking to much to feel a little special on Valentines day?? Id really like to hear what others think of this...and how you would react... Thanks.

mud · 16-02-2009 12:41pm

Apart from the lack of card/present how was the weekend? Did the two of you relax and enjoy it? You said you're not a materialistic person; is that why he didn't get you anything? To me an intimate kiss or hug is worth waaaaay more that some crap token gift.

John Mason · 16-02-2009 12:42pm

valentines days is complete scam and waste of time and money, you should applaud your bf for not buying into the Commercialism

IRISH RAIL · 16-02-2009 12:43pm

my ex was like that never got cards or anything for any of our anniversarys or valentines etc
it could be two things one he is so comfortable in the relationship he doesnt see the need for them
or he just isnt bothered to go out and and show you how he feels about you.

Wagon · 16-02-2009 12:50pm

Me and my girlfriend haven't been together long, but we've established that we both despise Valentines day and see it as a pointless waste of time, money and effort. I want to treat her well every day, I don't want to make a special occaision out of it. Maybe your boyfriend is in the same boat. Ask him.

upset · 16-02-2009 12:51pm

Yeah we did have a good weekend, and yes he does know that Im not materialistic but he also knows that I would have appreciated a card or a gesture to let me know that he was thinking about me...I do see where you are coming from and you are right that a kiss or hug is worth way more, thats why im so upset by it. We dont have an anniversary as we cant remember the date we got together so I just would have liked a bit of effort for one day of the year. The rugby got more attention than me.

jessbeth · 16-02-2009 12:54pm

I would be a little upset too. I mean if you spoke about it before and then decided that neither of you want to get anything fine but if he was getting something every other year then I would be a bit put out. How was the weekend though, do you guys normally get on well? If so then I wouldn't put too much emphasis on it. Guys don't find these things as important as us girls. After all it's what a person does and not what he says that's important at the end of the day.

jessbeth · 16-02-2009 12:55pm

upset wrote: »

Yeah we did have a good weekend, and yes he does know that Im not materialistic but he also knows that I would have appreciated a card or a gesture to let me know that he was thinking about me...I do see where you are coming from and you are right that a kiss or hug is worth way more, thats why im so upset by it. We dont have an anniversary as we cant remember the date we got together so I just would have liked a bit of effort for one day of the year. The rugby got more attention than me.

The next time he wants extra attention then go out with the girls and leave him at home

mud · 16-02-2009 12:57pm

To be honest, that's what I hate about Val's day, if it hadn't been that particular weekend you may not have thought twice about the fact that he was watching rugby etc and just concentrated on having a nice relaxing weekend, I'm single now but when I was seeing my last partner we made a point of ignoring the hallmark holiday and tried to surprise/delight each other on totally random days, it's great that the prezzies and cards don't bother you but it's so important to keep the intimacy going in other ways.

upset · 16-02-2009 1:00pm

jessbeth wrote: »

I would be a little upset too. I mean if you spoke about it before and then decided that neither of you want to get anything fine but if he was getting something every other year then I would be a bit put out. How was the weekend though, do you guys normally get on well? If so then I wouldn't put too much emphasis on it. Guys don't find these things as important as us girls. After all it's what a person does and not what he says that's important at the end of the day.

Thanks jessbeth, we didnt speak about it really, he knew I got him a card and he knew that i booked the weekend away. Turning the story around, I would feel awful in his position.

Beruthiel · 16-02-2009 1:02pm

upset wrote: »

I shouldnt be upset over a card.

Does he ever give you a token of affection at any other time during the year?

jessbeth · 16-02-2009 1:05pm

upset wrote: »

Thanks jessbeth, we didnt speak about it really, he knew I got him a card and he knew that i booked the weekend away. Turning the story around, I would feel awful in his position.

Tell him that a nice bottle of perfume or a dinner would make you feel a lot better. Enough with the jokes.
I mean it would be a good idea to discuss it with him. When something genuinely upsets you let him know and then situation can be avoided next year. If he's generally a lovely guy then I would just decide to maybe forgive and forget. He might have other things on his mind at the moment or something. Maybe though it would be worth having a conversation about spicing things up in general. It could be that after 5 years things have just got settled. I know V Day is just benefiting the shops mostly but what is the harm in using the opportunity to spoil your love one. Tell him how you feel :-)

upset · 16-02-2009 1:06pm

mud wrote: »

To be honest, that's what I hate about Val's day, if it hadn't been that particular weekend you may not have thought twice about the fact that he was watching rugby etc and just concentrated on having a nice relaxing weekend, I'm single now but when I was seeing my last partner we made a point of ignoring the hallmark holiday and tried to surprise/delight each other on totally random days, it's great that the prezzies and cards don't bother you but it's so important to keep the intimacy going in other ways.

Thanks for the post mud. Yeah you see I thought it was an obvious thing to do nice things for each other on valentines day. we dont tend to do much for each other any days of the year. I dont expect him to bring me out, I pay my own way for the cinema, dinner, holidays etc...I dont expect anything of him. It would have been nice to have been made feel special and just a card would have succeeded in doing that...and what it boils down to is that only for me, the day probably would have come and gone and it would have been the same as every other day of the year.

MagicMarker · 16-02-2009 1:11pm

Maybe the weekend away was a nice thing for both of you and he didn't see any need to hand you card?

I assume the holiday was paid for 50/50?

upset · 16-02-2009 1:11pm

Beruthiel wrote: »

Does he ever give you a token of affection at any other time during the year?

No, we dont even have an anniversary. we dont tend to get each other token gifts. I can imagine I would be the only one doing that again!!

Beruthiel · 16-02-2009 1:13pm

upset wrote: »

I thought it was an obvious thing to do nice things for each other on valentines day.

And not the rest of the year?

we dont tend to do much for each other any days of the year.

Why not?
That would cause me more worry than a card promoted by Hallmark in order to guilt trip people into buying their cards so that they make a big profit.
If your relationship is dependant on one particular day for a sign of affection, then you're in trouble.

upset · 16-02-2009 1:15pm

MagicMarker wrote: »

Maybe the weekend away was a nice thing for both of you and he didn't see any need to hand you card?

I assume the holiday was paid for 50/50?

At the moment, I have paid for everything. He will give me money towards it-we pay for everything 50/50. But I also organised other stuff, he just basically attended...

upset · 16-02-2009 1:18pm

Beruthiel wrote: »

And not the rest of the year?

Why not?
That would cause me more worry than a card promoted by Hallmark in order to guilt trip people into buying their cards so that they make a big profit.
If your relationship is dependant on one particular day for a sign of affection, then you're in trouble.

Why dont we get token gifts for each other all year round? Id say id be the only one organising that again...

plus i dont expect that really. I just would like to be made feel special an odd time...and to me valentines day was an obvious day to do it...as commercial as it is.

guest67 · 16-02-2009 1:30pm

I can understand why your upset, I would be upset too if I was in your shoes. Sometimes men just don't think and you have to spell it out for them. Tell him it how upset you are after all the effort you made booking the weekend etc he didn't even bother to buy a card. Tell him a nice dinner out totally at his expense would help get him back in the good books.

Beruthiel · 16-02-2009 1:33pm

guest67 wrote: »

Tell him a nice dinner out totally at his expense would help get him back in the good books.

How does it get him back into the good books if you have to tell him to do it?
I don't get that.
Won't he only be doing it then because he has to, not because he wants to.

guest67 · 16-02-2009 1:36pm

Because like I said you have to spell it out to some men. Some men would still let Mammy buy their clothes...

shellyboo · 16-02-2009 1:39pm

Beruthiel wrote: »

How does it get him back into the good books if you have to tell him to do it?
I don't get that.
Won't he only be doing it then because he has to, not because he wants to.

Yeah, I agree with Beruthiel here... what's the point in making him take you out to dinner? Surely the aim of the game is to get him to realise that he's upset his gf and that he needs to make a bit more of an effort - making him take the OP out to dinner isn't going to achieve that.

upset · 16-02-2009 3:00pm

shellyboo wrote: »

Yeah, I agree with Beruthiel here... what's the point in making him take you out to dinner? Surely the aim of the game is to get him to realise that he's upset his gf and that he needs to make a bit more of an effort - making him take the OP out to dinner isn't going to achieve that.

Thats the way that I feel aswell...I dont want to be guilting him into doing something...surely he should want to do it himself.

16-02-2009 3:08pm

upset wrote: »

No, we dont even have an anniversary. we dont tend to get each other token gifts. I can imagine I would be the only one doing that again!!

Surely there must be some daily affection between you? Some sign of love? some feeling of dying to be with each other and missing each other when away from each other for a while and stuff like that?

Your BF is hardly a total lemon or else you wouldnt be with him?

As for Valentines day and cards-I'm in the same group as a few have said-I think it's total commercialism.
I'd rather go out 50 times in the year for dinner and skip that blatant scam of a day.
I'd also rather show affection spread out over the entire year than buy in to [literally] the scam.

crazzzzy · 16-02-2009 3:18pm

you need to tell him what you've said here. some guys just think val's is a waste and if he knows your not materialistic then he prob thought you wouldn't want anything especially since ye went away for weekend.

me & my bf are like that...i don't need flowers & gifts on val's day to know he cares. He asked bout it last week and since he lost his job in jan i said if he wanted give me something then cook me dinner or something very small. he must have got different message from me as he turned up with computer game & cd!!! I felt awful as id only got him card but he didnt mind coz im always spoiling him.

Valentines puts lot of pressure on couples...it should be about showing you care - not buying expensive gifts. If you'd like to celebrate val's day in future then explain to your OH that since you don't have anniversary you'd like to do something special val's day or pick another day.

upset · 16-02-2009 3:27pm

crazzzzy wrote: »

you need to tell him what you've said here. some guys just think val's is a waste and if he knows your not materialistic then he prob thought you wouldn't want anything especially since ye went away for weekend.

Valentines puts lot of pressure on couples...it should be about showing you care - not buying expensive gifts. If you'd like to celebrate val's day in future then explain to your OH that since you don't have anniversary you'd like to do something special val's day or pick another day.

I totally agree...I didnt want anything. I just wanted to know he cared. As it stands, i booked and paid for a weekend away together and he didnt do anything...he just attended! He works most weekends so if i didnt book the weekend away, i doubt i would have seen him. The card is only an example of something small to show he cared...a cuddle, a candle, him telling me that he loved me, ANYTHING would have done the job.

16-02-2009 3:28pm

Upset, have you both exchanged cards every year or did you presume you'd do it this year just because you were going away for the weekend?

My husband and I don't do Valentine's day either. We both learned very early on in our relationship that we hate it and just ignore the entire thing. Do cards, flowers, chocolates etc. We just do the same as we always do. We're always giving eachother little token gifts anyway and he gets me flowers very frequently so none of us feel we're missing out on anything.

Now, if he's given you a card every year for the past four and didn't this year without telling you, I could see why you're upset. However, if you presumed he'd get one after seeing the work you put into organising your weekend away as a present, that's not fair on him.

LegacyUser · 16-02-2009 3:30pm

That is quite frankly OP a bunch of b0llox, so he doesn't beleive in the Hallmark holiday, well its not all about him and what he believes in is it?

You are 50% of the couple so he should be anticipating your pleasure and planning something nice for you. Before everyone hops on me, its clear from OP's posts that she does this for him, so he should reciprocate.

He sounds selfish and as though he is taking you for granted.

OP I love Valentines day, I dont care if others think its commercial and that my right.

I DESPISE Christmas, absolutely hate it, but my other half doesn't so I put on a smile and join in with it just to make him and others happy because its not all about me! Its NOT that hard!

The point is regardless of what he thinks, he should have made some effort.

Overheal · 16-02-2009 3:37pm

Sounds like your boyfriend won't be getting a Steak or a Blowjob on March 14th then. He shoulda learned.

But you're paying for everything or 50/50...which means youre paying 80/20 probably (or is that just for holidays and gifts?). what the hell. Are you his mother? Does he make money? Where's his money? I'd re-evaluate the overall worth of that relationship.

Not that I would fault him for boycotting V-day (its all crock) but if someone isnt pulling their weight its not really a balanced relationship.

upset · 16-02-2009 3:38pm

00112984 wrote: »

Upset, have you both exchanged cards every year or did you presume you'd do it this year just because you were going away for the weekend?

My husband and I don't do Valentine's day either. We both learned very early on in our relationship that we hate it and just ignore the entire thing. Do cards, flowers, chocolates etc. We just do the same as we always do. We're always giving eachother little token gifts anyway and he gets me flowers very frequently so none of us feel we're missing out on anything.

Now, if he's given you a card every year for the past four and didn't this year without telling you, I could see why you're upset. However, if you presumed he'd get one after seeing the work you put into organising your weekend away as a present, that's not fair on him.

From what I can see, the general theme from everyone is that Valentines is commerical, maybe I should ignore it and that instead we should get token gifts for each other on non occasions...I never get 'token presents'...i never expected them. I pay my own way, everything is 50/50. Maybe I should expect more affection/'token gifts'?? Now im really confused...all that i want is to know he cares and thinks about me...

upset · 16-02-2009 3:41pm

Unregistered wrote: »

That is quite frankly OP a bunch of b0llox, so he doesn't beleive in the Hallmark holiday, well its not all about him and what he believes in is it?

You are 50% of the couple so he should be anticipating your pleasure and planning something nice for you. Before everyone hops on me, its clear from OP's posts that she does this for him, so he should reciprocate.

He sounds selfish and as though he is taking you for granted.

OP I love Valentines day, I dont care if others think its commercial and that my right.

I DESPISE Christmas, absolutely hate it, but my other half doesn't so I put on a smile and join in with it just to make him and others happy because its not all about me! Its NOT that hard!

The point is regardless of what he thinks, he should have made some effort.

I think you have hit the nail on the head...Thanks!! I think he is being selfish aswell, he knew that anything would have brightened my day. And the simple fact is, he choose not to make any effort.

upset · 16-02-2009 3:43pm

Overheal wrote: »

Sounds like your boyfriend won't be getting a Steak or a Blowjob on March 14th then. He shoulda learned.

But you're paying for everything or 50/50...which means youre paying 80/20 probably (or is that just for holidays and gifts?). what the hell. Are you his mother? Does he make money? Where's his money? I'd re-evaluate the overall worth of that relationship.

Not that I would fault him for boycotting V-day (its all crock) but if someone isnt pulling their weight its not really a balanced relationship.

No things are paid 50/50, he pays half, I pay half. Im not his mother, and he does earn money...I'm not sure where you are going with this...

Oh and what is goin on March 14th??

shellyboo · 16-02-2009 3:51pm

upset wrote: »

From what I can see, the general theme from everyone is that Valentines is commerical, maybe I should ignore it and that instead we should get token gifts for each other on non occasions...I never get 'token presents'...i never expected them. I pay my own way, everything is 50/50. Maybe I should expect more affection/'token gifts'?? Now im really confused...all that i want is to know he cares and thinks about me...

Woah horsey. You're getting all mixed up! Presents do not equal affection - you already know this.

You know that all you wanted was him to put in some effort for you to make you feel special - and that doesn't equal putting his hand in his pocket, that can mean a cup of tea, dinner made, breakfast in bed, running you a bath... right?

Don't get all tied up with the monetary aspect of it, you already know that means nothing if there's no effort behind it.

You need to sit down and tell him you were really hurt that he didn't make an effort to do something special for you on Valentine's Day since you organised the weekend away. Mention to him about the anniversary - you don't have a day to celebrate your relationship, so it would be nice if you could use Valentine's Day as a chance for that from now on.

Don't get mad, don't mention presents or a card. If he asks for examples of what you mean, tell him honestly what you'd like him to do, what would make you feel special. Because really, men are not mind readers - they need to have these things spelled out.

upset wrote: »

Oh and what is goin on March 14th??

Ahem, March 14th.

Overheal · 16-02-2009 3:55pm

upset wrote: »

No things are paid 50/50, he pays half, I pay half. Im not his mother, and he does earn money...I'm not sure where you are going with this...

Oh and what is goin on March 14th??

March 14th is the special underground male oriented Valentines day known as Steak & Blowjob Day. Not a very ambiguous name for a holiday but it gets the point across rather nicely.

Just from your posts it sounded like you were pulling most of the burden in the relationship. If thats not the case I apologize.

So surely he must do something to show his affection outside of cards and flowers and sonnets composed at the bank of the river on a midsomers day under the shade of a eucalyptus tree?

upset · 16-02-2009 4:00pm

shellyboo wrote: »

Woah horsey. You're getting all mixed up! Presents do not equal affection - you already know this.

You know that all you wanted was him to put in some effort for you to make you feel special - and that doesn't equal putting his hand in his pocket, that can mean a cup of tea, dinner made, breakfast in bed, running you a bath... right?

Don't get all tied up with the monetary aspect of it, you already know that means nothing if there's no effort behind it.

You need to sit down and tell him you were really hurt that he didn't make an effort to do something special for you on Valentine's Day since you organised the weekend away. Mention to him about the anniversary - you don't have a day to celebrate your relationship, so it would be nice if you could use Valentine's Day as a chance for that from now on.

Don't get mad, don't mention presents or a card. If he asks for examples of what you mean, tell him honestly what you'd like him to do, what would make you feel special. Because really, men are not mind readers - they need to have these things spelled out.

Ahem, March 14th.

How have I never heard of March 14th before-That is brilliant! Thanks for the advice, I suppose im still in 'hurt' stage, but yeah you are right I dont expect anything money wise, just affection and caring...a bit of effort doesnt cost anything.

upset · 16-02-2009 4:06pm

shellyboo wrote: »

Woah horsey. You're getting all mixed up! Presents do not equal affection - you already know this.

You know that all you wanted was him to put in some effort for you to make you feel special - and that doesn't equal putting his hand in his pocket, that can mean a cup of tea, dinner made, breakfast in bed, running you a bath... right?

Don't get all tied up with the monetary aspect of it, you already know that means nothing if there's no effort behind it.

You need to sit down and tell him you were really hurt that he didn't make an effort to do something special for you on Valentine's Day since you organised the weekend away. Mention to him about the anniversary - you don't have a day to celebrate your relationship, so it would be nice if you could use Valentine's Day as a chance for that from now on.

Don't get mad, don't mention presents or a card. If he asks for examples of what you mean, tell him honestly what you'd like him to do, what would make you feel special. Because really, men are not mind readers - they need to have these things spelled out.

Ahem, March 14th.

Overheal wrote: »

March 14th is the special underground male oriented Valentines day known as Steak & Blowjob Day. Not a very ambiguous name for a holiday but it gets the point across rather nicely.

Just from your posts it sounded like you were pulling most of the burden in the relationship. If thats not the case I apologize.

So surely he must do something to show his affection outside of cards and flowers and sonnets composed at the bank of the river on a midsomers day under the shade of a eucalyptus tree?

Yeah we go for long walks across beaches and watch the sun set over the bay...were not too much into affection...I get a hug if I ask for one??! Does that count?

shellyboo · 16-02-2009 4:06pm

upset wrote: »

How have I never heard of March 14th before-That is brilliant! Thanks for the advice, I suppose im still in 'hurt' stage, but yeah you are right I dont expect anything money wise, just affection and caring...a bit of effort doesnt cost anything.

Exactly, and tell him that you're hurt - don't mention the words 'annoyed' or 'angry'. Bottom line - he hurt your feelings, whether unintentionally or not, and as your bf he should be aiming to avoid that on all occasions.

And hey, if he gets why you're upset and apologises, you can introduce him to the wonders of March 14th :P

upset · 16-02-2009 4:08pm

shellyboo wrote: »

And hey, if he gets why you're upset and apologises, you can introduce him to the wonders of March 14th :P

Yeah he'll be lucky!!! I'm not sure he deserves that just yet...!!!

Overheal · 16-02-2009 4:10pm

upset wrote: »

Yeah we go for long walks across beaches and watch the sun set over the bay...were not too much into affection...I get a hug if I ask for one??! Does that count?

I would probably cease to function as a human being and shut down without hugs

But if he's not naturally affectionate he's not naturally affectionate. Physically affectionate anyway. You're happy otherwise? Going on walks seems like a good thing. Brain pick much?

cantdecide · 16-02-2009 4:15pm

He sounds like a cold fish.

I always find showing someone you love them far more rewarding that receiving it. There are lots of people here like me that would agree to not get gifts and then bottle it and buy something. I wouldn't be able to resist.

You should tell him that you have higher expectations and you certainly don't want him to get into bad habits from the beginning. Have your way on this...

LegacyUser · 16-02-2009 4:15pm

were not too much into affection...I get a hug if I ask for one??! Does that count?

eh? What do you mean 'we're not too much into affection' ???

Who decided that? Him or you?

You get a hug if you ask for it?

...........Im a bit lost....what are you getting out of this relationship exactly?

upset · 16-02-2009 4:16pm

Overheal wrote: »

I would probably cease to function as a human being and shut down without hugs But if he's not naturally affectionate he's not naturally affectionate. Physically affectionate anyway. You're happy otherwise? Going on walks seems like a good thing. Brain pick much?

Yeah I think were happy otherwise...hugs are nice

Think im gonna have to sit him down and talk to him this evening...hes not too good at the whole communication thing either...Though I'm not much better at that...

upset · 16-02-2009 4:20pm

cantdecide wrote: »

He sounds like a cold fish.

Sometimes I do wonder...Aw hes not that bad. when he is affectionate its great, hes just not like that all the time

LegacyUser · 16-02-2009 4:21pm

So, the poor lad is in the doghouse because he didn't conform?

Valentine's Day is a joke and anyone who believes in it is to be pitied. To EXPECT someone to do something, against all their better instincts, so as to not offend someone who has fallen for the soppy day that it is, is highly unreasonable.

I got a card on Saturday, and a pressie. I didn't give either a card or a pressie. I don't believe in the day, I think it is nothing more than a Marketing fallacy to part idiots with their money.

When the OP is sitting down with the poor lad, please do tell him each and every other day he is expected to "conform", and what he is "expected" to buy.

Surely any gift or present bought under such conditions is shallow and false and worthless?

16-02-2009 4:21pm

upset wrote: »

The card is only an example of something small to show he cared...a cuddle, a candle, him telling me that he loved me, ANYTHING would have done the job.

Have to say, this bit really struck a cord with me. Obviously, I don't know what goes on in other realtionships but, in mine, I don't think we could go a full, waking hour without an "I love you", let alone an entire weekend. Then again, we are quite tactile and smoochy (in private) anyway.

OP, would he tell you he loves you quite often? Like, do you feel he deliberately didn't say it this weekend for some reason?

upset · 16-02-2009 4:27pm

00112984 wrote: »

Have to say, this bit really struck a cord with me. Obviously, I don't know what goes on in other realtionships but, in mine, I don't think we could go a full, waking hour without an "I love you", let alone an entire weekend. Then again, we are quite tactile and smoochy (in private) anyway.

OP, would he tell you he loves you quite often? Like, do you feel he deliberately didn't say it this weekend for some reason?

Aw he says it probably as much as I say it to him...I think that he would agree with all the posters that think that valentines day is commercial and he doesnt want to buy into it...But i still think he should make some effort for me, i dont buy into it either. But its a nice idea, a day for people who love each other. There is nothing wrong with that.

LegacyUser · 16-02-2009 4:37pm

I would say it to him, not start a row just say your just wondering. Yer going out long enough to say it to him. Thats the only way to ease your self

16-02-2009 4:40pm

Ah no, there's nothing wrong with it but, personally, I hate the "sameness" of Valentine's day. Girls traipsing through town carrying half-wilted, overpriced bunches of roses that were delivered to work just so everyone could see them, etc.

Why not make a special date for the two of you? Like, decide on an anniversary from around the time you started going out or maybe pick the anniversary of your first holiday together or whatever. Any excuse to swap cards and head out for dinner!!

Silverfish · 16-02-2009 6:16pm

00112984 wrote: »

Ah no, there's nothing wrong with it but, personally, I hate the "sameness" of Valentine's day. Girls traipsing through town carrying half-wilted, overpriced bunches of roses that were delivered to work just so everyone could see them, etc.

Why not make a special date for the two of you? Like, decide on an anniversary from around the time you started going out or maybe pick the anniversary of your first holiday together or whatever. Any excuse to swap cards and head out for dinner!!

I think by the sounds of it, he wouldn't buy into that idea either.

OP, it doesn't matter at all whether Valentine's day is a marketing ploy or not. To you, its one day out of the year where he could have done something to show he cared (ESPECIALLY because of all the hype and marketing around it, its not like he could have missed it) and he chose not to. He obviously knew you had done something for him, so even a gesture would probably have been enough.
Its the one token day where even neanderthals manage to cough out a token 'yeah eh so here's yer card and whatever', so I understand where you're coming from completely.

So here's the hard part. You need to decide if this is enough for you.
Bad enough that he doesn't do anything the other 364 days of the year, but when he avoids it on the one day where there's reminders everywhere for 4 weeks beforehand, and chose to think 'Nah, I won't'... its more of a conscious decision NOT to, than the normal forgetting to in the normal run of things, which can happen.
This would be a pretty big flag to me, someone who doesn't show any affection, or isn't willing to.

I'd have a bit of a talk with him, make him aware of the issue and the consequences of it.

Advice needed...

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